DENVER, IT'S HOT TODAY BUT IT WON'T LAST, A COLD FRONT TAKES US DOWN TO HIGHS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN 60s COME SUNDAY WHICH I'M NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT, ANYTHING UNDER 80° AT THIS POINT IN THE YEAR IS GODDAMNED GRAVY.... FREAKING DIAMOND... JIZZIN 4 JOY FRI: 92°/59° SAT: 80°/53° SUN: 65°/50° RANDO STORMS

DENVER I DON'T LIKE IT, NOBODY LIKES IT, BUT IT'S SUMMER AND UNLESS YR ONE OF THE FAT CATS UP AT BOULDER'S NWS YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THE PRIMO AIR CONDITIONING ONLY THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS ABOUT (I TELL THE TRUTH) FUCK ALL THIS: SUN: 92°/63° MON: 84°/58° TUE: 93°/59° WED: 91°/54° THU: 84°/57° FRI: 91°/59°

DENVER IT'S HOT BUT NOT SCORCHY, WHICH MEANS ONE THING: GOD DAMMIT IT'S POOL PARTY WEATHER. MOTHERFUCKING CANNONBALLS FOLLOWED BY MONDO SPLIFFS, HELL YEAH. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 89°/60° SAT: 92°/62° SUN: 92°/60°

DENVER THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE HOT STUFF. SOON WE WILL LOOK BACK ON THESE TEMPS IN THE LOW 80s AND SMILE WITH THE MEMORY OF TIMES PAST. I GUESS I SHOULD FINALLY GET MY MOTHERFUCKING AIR CONDITIONER OUT FROM STORAGE. SUN: 83°/55° MON: 81°/55° TUE: 80°/57° WED: 80°/56° THU: 86°/59° FRI: 86°/60°

DENVER WE'VE GOT A BOG STANDARD EARLY SUMMER WEEKEND ON TAP NOTHING FUCKING ANNOYING NOTHING FUCKING AMAZING JUST THE SAME OL' BEAUTIFUL COLORADO LYFE U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT FRI: 79°/52° MAYBE PM RAIN SAT: 75°/51° <-- THE MOST BEAUTEOUS SUN: 81°/54°

DENVER I CLEANED ALL THE JIZZ STAINS OFF MY COUCH ALREADY THIS MORNING SO I THINK WE CAN DECLARE THIS WEEKEND A VICTORY. JUST KIDDING... I DON'T HAVE A COUCH. ANYHOOO, HERE'S YOUR WEATHER, IT'S PRETTY DECENT: SUN: 83°/54° MON: 84°/55° TUE: 77°/55° WED: 74°/55° THU: 79°/55° FRI: 80°/55°

DENVER WE HAVE A MOSTLY BLISSFUL WEEKEND IN FRONT OF US... HELL YEAH... REMINDER THAT NOW IS THE TIME TO BEFRIEND THOSE ACQUAINTANCES WITH SWIMMING POOLS AT THEIR PLACES, ANY LATER THAN MEMORIAL DAY AND THAT SHIT LOOKS FAKE AS HELL. YOUR WEEKEND: FRI: 64°/45° SAT: 77°/51° SUN: 82°/54° MON: 83°/56°

DENVER, IT'S A SLOSHY WEEK, EXTREMELY PERILOUS (IF YOU'RE A MOGWAI). NOT SURE WHAT WE DID TO DESERVE THIS MOISTNESS. SUN: 65°/44° STORRRRMS MON: 47°/37° WETNESSSS TUE: 53°/43° EVENING RAINNNN WED: 61°/45° PM STORMS THU: 65°/46° MORE PM STORMS FRI: 71°/49° DRY. GORGEOUS. THEY MUSTA RUN OUT OF RAIN

DENVER, IT WAS WARM, AND WILL BE WARM, AND THEN... IT WON'T. UNTIL IT IS AGAIN. THE CIRCLE OF FUKKIN LIFE. WHAT IS LIFE? WHAT IS TIME? WHAT IS NOW? NOW IS ALL WE HAVE. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO ARE YOU?? WHAT AM I DOING HERE??? THE WEATHER. FRI: 84°/57° SAT: 81°/51° SUN: 65°/42° THUNDER THUNDER

WORDS YOU DON'T HEAR METEOROLOGISTS SAYING OFTEN ENOUGH: PERILOUS, GUTSY, LURID, BODACIOUS, FLAMBOYANT, DEATH-DEFYING, HABERDASHER, JAUNTY, WORM-RIDDEN, SCUMMY, SLOSHY, LOOSE.

DENVER IT'S GETTIN A LIL TOASTY IN HERRE BUT OTHERWISE IT GOD DAMN GORGEOUS HELL YEA SHOUT OUT ALL THE MOMS KEEPING UR FAMILIES ALIVE KEEPIN THE WEATHER GODS HAPPY U THE REAL WINNERS THIS YOUR DAY YOUR FUCKING WEATHER SUN: 71°/47° MON: 87°/55° TUE: 81°/53° WED: 85°/60° THU: 83°/56° FRI: 77°/54°

Eating 6 hot dogs with 10 bags of nuts

DENVER, INDULGE ME, HERE'S A RUNNING LIST OF MY FAVORITE POSTS. WANT TO GET ON MY GOOD SIDE? GO INTO THIS LIST AND GIMME LIKES.

DENVER, AFTER THE HELL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS WEEK WE DESERVE A WEEKEND LIKE THIS. FUCKING DIAMOND, PURE DIAMOND. YOUR GORGEOUS FUKKIN WEEKEND: FRI: 70°/50° SUNNY SAT: 76°/45° A COUPLE CLOUDS SUN: 70°/48° TOTAL SUN

[WAKES UP] [LOOKS OUTSIDE] FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING FUCKSHITS, NUH UH. [TEXTS IN SICK] [GOES BACK UNDER THE BLANKETS]

REALLY NEED ALL THE "WE NEED THE MOISTURE" PEOPLE IN THE SAME ROOM RIGHT NOW

DENVER THIS IS *SUCH* A MOTHERFUCKING COLORADO MOVE I'M HONESTLY SHOCKED THAT THE WEATHER GODS ARE PULLING SOMETHING SO BASIC, JUST A GIANT FUCK YOU TO ANYONE PLANTING A GARDEN AND HUMANITY IN GENERAL. SUN: 74°/48° MON: 71°/39° TUE: 43°/33° RAIN WED: 46°/37° POSSIBLY SNOW THU: 72°/46° FRI: 72°/49°

DENVER SURE IT'S A LITTLE SPRING-CHILLY BUT OTHERWISE IT IS A TOP-NOTCH COLORADO SPRING WEEKEND, I RATE IT AN 8 OUT OF 10, HELL YEAH, GO US, FUCK THE HATERS, RIDE OR DIE ETC. FRI: 63°/38° SAT: 73°/46° SUN: 76°/49°

NUGGETS, WTF WTF WTFFFFFFFF

BREAKING important-to-me-but-probably-nobody-else NEWS IF I FOLLOW ONE MORE PERSON I'LL BE FOLLOWING 666 PEOPLE. WHO WANTS TO BE NUMBER 666?

DENVER IT'S CHILLY, IT'S WET... THIS IS THE SHIT SIDE OF SPRING. I'LL BLAME THE FAT CATS UP AT NWS BOULDER FOR THIS ONE, IT'S BEEN A BIT SINCE I BLAMED 'EM FOR ANYTHING. SUN: 53°/41° STORMY STORMY MON: 52°/39° STORMY STORMY TUE: 57°/40° WED: 62°/43° THU: 47°/41° RAIN ALL DAY FRI: 57°/40° SHOWERS

nuggets wtf

DENVER IS IT JUST ME OR ARE WE GETTING COLLECTIVELY BETTER AT RIM JOBS? I ASK BECAUSE THE WEATHER GODS ARE BEING SO NICE TO US. AT LEAST TODAY. SATURDAY AND SUNDAY THEY'RE BACK TO THEIR OLD TESTAMENT BS... PROLLY A CRY FOR MORE RIM JOBS... FRI: 72°/35° YAY/BOO SAT: 57°/38° SUN: 59°/41° PM THUNDER

lolololololololololollllllllll rockies

DENVER, EVENTUALLY WE MUST REVEL IN SPRING'S MOTHERFUCKING MAJESTY AND LO, MAYBE WE DO THAT THIS WEEK? IT'S NOT PERFECT BUT IT'S PRETTY DAMN GOOD. TAKE A GANDER, TELL ME WHAT U THINK: SUN: 73°/41° MON: 81°/47° TUE: 84°/54° WED: 83°/47° THU: 67°/39° FRI: 58°/34°

DENVER SHIT'S CURRENTLY FUCKED IT BUT IT WON'T BE FUCKED FOREVER. THIS IS ALWAYS TRUE OF COURSE, UNTIL IT ISN'T AND BY THEN IT'S TOO LATE ANYWAY. BRING ON THE PLATITUDES, MOTHERFUCKS... ASK ME IF I CARE. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: FRI: 39°/28° SNOW, SOMEHOW SAT: 59°/33° SUN: 74°/40°

wtf is this shit

DENVER WE'VE GOT A SMORGASBORD OF SPRING SHIT WAFTING OUR WAY, WHICH INCLUDES A CHANCE OF MOTHERFUCKING SNOW ON FRIDAY NIGHT. YEAH, WE'LL SEE. SUN: 75° MON: 73°/44° WINDY TUE: 60°/40° P.M. RAIN WED: 69°/44° NICE THU: 76°/38° ACTUALLY NICE FRI: 43°/27° BRRR WET MAYBE SNOW

DENVER, WE HAVE GOT SOME DAMN NEAR PERFECT WEATHER HEADING OUR WAY, BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYE IT REALLY DOES, SO FUCKIN PRETTY. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 67°/47° BEAUTY SAT: 77°/46° REAL NICE SUN: 77°/47° LOVING IT

ROCKIES HAVE A NON-LOSING RECORD FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2022

the rockies had two four-game winning "streaks" last year, and none lasted more than that. if the rockies make it five in a row they probably deserve a downtown parade or some shit, right?

last year it took the Colorado Rockies two months to piece together a win streak. this year it took them two weeks AND IF THAT'S NOT PROGRESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT THIS YEAR BOYS WE'RE GOING PLACES

…how long has it been since the Rockies pieced together a win streak this early in the season? I know the game isn’t over yet and I know it would only be a two game win streak but it’s an honest question.

DENVER I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS. THE COMING WEEK IS JUST EXCEPTIONALLY, EXCEEDINGLY, CONSISTENTLY... NICE. SUN: 69° MON: 69° TUE: 71° WED: 73° THU: 69° FRI: 69°

genuinely curious if the furries (hi furry friends) are going to latch onto this thread or not

[opens the window][lets the breeze blow through the curtains][bids the butterflies good morning][high-fives a friendly fox] SPRING!

programming note: I'm going to start posting my all-time-favorite posts from that other place over on here, some as screenshots others as actual posts.

The Rockies have lost the game, 2-1. Their record is now 2 wins and 6 losses. The Rockies' losing streak is now at 2 games. May God have mercy on our souls.

DENVER, A MOTHERFUCKING HO-HUM OF A WEEKEND... KIND OF A RELIEF ACTUALLY: IT'S HONEST TO GOODNESS SPRING IN COLORADO. WILD, WEIRD, WEIRD THAT IT'S SO WILD. FRI: 55°/32° SAT: 64°/34° SUN: 70°/36°

DENVER THIS WEATHER IS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE… THE WEATHER GODS ARE JITTERY AND IN NEED OF OFFERINGS (I.E. SPLIFFS AND RIM JOBS)… WHO HERE IS ANTSY ABOUT THIS WEIRD HEAT AND WHAT IT PORTENDS… YOUR FUCKIN WEATHER: SUN: 80° MON: 81° TUE: 54° WED: 55° EVENING RAIN THU: 75° FRI: 53° EVENING RAIN

THE ROCKIES... NO LONGER UNDEFEATED.

THE ROCKIES... STILL UNDEFEATED.

DENVER, IT'S CHILLY TODAY BUT BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BULLSHIT THE REST OF THE WEEKEND. I MISS SPRING. I MISS SEASONS. FRI: 56° SAT: 81° SUN: 81°

ROCKIES CURRENTLY UNDEFEATED

FUCK IT HIT FUCKING 90° MAYBE NOT WAY OUT IN BUMBLEFUCK D-I-A BUT IT HIT 90° IN MY FUCKING HEART i don't know how to feel

it's going to hit 90° today isn't it. that motherfucking SUN can suck my motherfucking DICK for this shit.

DENVER, IT'S NOW OFFICIALLY "SPRING" ... AT LEAST FOR TODAY. WE'VE GOT ANOTHER 90° FORECAST THIS WEEK WHICH IS JUST SO FUCKING STRANGE BUT I GUESS IT WILL GET LESS WEIRD AS IT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN? THE FUTURE LOOKS... FUCKED. SUN: 66° MON: 73° TUE: 84° FUCK THIS WED: 90° FUCK THAT THU: 77° FRI: 53°

IT HOT

70 DEGREES AT 10 PM IN MARCH #NOPE

DENVER THIS IS SO TOTALLY FUCKED IT’S THE FUCKIEST FUCKING FUCKSHIT WEATHER WE HAVE EVER FUCKED WITH THIS EARLY IN THE FUCKING YEAR. THE GOOD NEWS IS IT’S LEGITIMATE POOL PARTY WEATHER, SATURDAY, 5 P.M., OVER AT MY NEIGHBOR’S PLACE (HE’S OUT OF TOWN LOL) FRI: 88° WTF SAT: 91° WTFFFFFF SUN: 65°