idk if this is a good personality trait or a bad one, but just gave someone a peptalk that included "get a fucking grip," so come to me if you want to be lovingly told off, I guess?

Everyone should tell @thesociologists.bsky.social that he needs to do an episode on "There Is No Antimemetics Division" with meeeee!!!

Me to my friends: hey! Be nice to yourself, that's my friend your talking about! Me to myself: ...omfGGGG drink something, you dehydrated bitch...

I mean, if by "talking about" he means "as an example of how this time in our history is corrupt, and that's why 200 years from now we have term limits, then yes, we will absolutely still be talking about him then.

The itchy phase of this tattoo is going to have me straight up homicidal, holy fuuuuuuuck...

New ink!!!

Oh yay, Virginia has entered the time of year I like to call “omg ewwww disgosty.”

Two! Of! My! Books! Are! ON SALE!!! Get the hardcover of my first robot sex book for $24, and the paperback of my first corset book for $27!!! link.springer.com/book/10.1007... link.springer.com/book/10.1007...

Tattoo day tomorrow!! Pictures to come!

I want to thank this thunderstorm for hitting while I'm awake, so I can take my anti-nausea meds now, and not in the middle of the damned night.

When it's eleventy hundred degrees outside, all you wanna do is a full sploot on the cool tile floor

Shoutout to the VCU librarian who is up checking her email on the Fourth of July, for helping me with my broken-link query, much obliged!

Me, at every "exploring an alien planet" sci-fi team: YES, YOU GO MY DUDES, STICK YOUR FINGERS IN THAT BLACK GOO, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN.

It's kind of a good thing that Richmond doesn't fuss with storm sirens or any type of auditory warning system, because a train derailed off an overpass into the canal three blocks from my apartment, and I heard *nothing.* Not a sound.

The National Center for Faculty Diversity and Development is giving us all a mid-career complex/crisis/vibe check this morning...

Randomness of the universe: 1 Me staying home and minding my own business: 0

My intro to Harley Quinn was the 2002 "Birds of Prey" TV show, and being stood up by the guy I was seeing when we were meant to be watching the finale together but he went on a date with his "actual" girlfriend. 24 years later I'm writing a book about Harley, so. Fuck you, Jed.

How does Lilith connect to Harley Quinn? Stay tuned for my upcoming book on Harlequins Through History from University of Mississippi Press!

Me: wow, four days of record breaking heat forecast with no rain in sight, I should paint our fence! British weather: you fool. you absolute idiot. you disgrace. have a thunderstorm

RVA DPU: "we're experiencing an unusually high call volume." Me: "...d'you think maybe it's because you rolled out an account number change without telling half your residents?"

Breakfast this morning is smoked Gouda and black figs on toasted sourdough, topped with dark agave nectar and lavender buds.

I did not understand the scale of “one daikon radish,” and I fear I have made A Mistake.

Power of @fluevog.bsky.social: So strong someone just screamed "I LIKE YOUR SHOES" at me out the window of a moving car.

🥹

...why do people come to a hotel to fight. Fighting should be an at home thing.

Further shout out to @theatlantisdc.bsky.social for putting aside a front row spot for me and my mobility scooter! I haven't been in the front row of anything for like three and a half years; absolutely FANTASTIC experience at Girli tonight!

Shout out to the U street and 13th McDonalds in DC--they heard "extra pickles" as it should be heard; as "just fuck me up, thx."

Ladylike af

Rewatching Love, Death, and Robots, and @scalzi.com I still need "humans are snackish" and "hey shut up that's boring!" on t-shirts.

Ticketmaster gripes my ass like whoa, I'm sure I'll get about $.33 from that settlement, but I'm going to celebrate every miserable penny.

[eighteen months pass] We are writing to let our valued customers know that the FlushMe app is no longer supported as of October 31.

Big Eyes the Punching Assassin is in a mood

My rationale behind not washing the round cheese grater in the dishwasher: it'll stress the metal, and I'll need to buy another sooner.

please, my cat, she’s very long

Celebrating a task that is well completed.

I, a much sought after and prolific writer, just used "a gushing orgasm during the heaviest days of menstruation" to describe Lucy's death scene in the 1992 film "Bram Stoker's Dracula," by Francis Ford Coppola. This is why they give me the book contracts, friends.

Is the NIH getting kickbacks from captcha or what? What is our miserable excuse for a government's reasoning behind making me identify buses/cars/bridges/crosswalks five fucking times before I can access a publicly available scholarly article?

I say "oh my go WHYYYYYY" quite a lot for someone who lives alone and is the only person who could possibly have done what's irritating me.

Drinking red wine, writing about biblical blood symbolism and Dracula, because that's just the goth stereotype I am.

Just imagining the discussion with customer service if I typed what I want to on the USPS website... "No, Dr. Gibson, 'OH MY GOD, JUST DELIVER THE FUCKING PACKAGE' does not count as 'delivery instructions...'"

MARK YOUR CALENDARS, because "Normative Lifecycle Milestones Examined Through Horror Fiction: Our Daily Dread" now has a publication date! Look for my upcoming 7th book January 7th, 2027, from Bloomsbury, and available through all major book retailers!

Happy Pride! 🌈🏳️‍🌈 As a reminder: I'm bisexual 🩷💜💙, demisexual 🖤🩶🤍💜, and polyamorous ❤️♾, and I support the entire LGBTQIA+ community!

My entire life is a warning: take what you're given, lest the universe give you something harder, stronger, weirder, more. Love me, or mourn my absence. Your choice.

It's a once in a lifetime love that sees you for who and what you are, and holds your hand the whole time. No criticism, no meanness, no missteps, just pure, warm surrender.

I've gained new followers off the #AI impersonation debacle, so I'd like to introduce the REAL me. I'm Dr Lindsey Fitzharris & I'm a medical historian. Yes, it's a real job! If you ever wondered how you'd treat a toothache in 1782, or what would happen if you broke a leg in 1845, I'm your gal. /1

Returned from my vacation to Savannah, and not leaving my apartment except for errands for two weeks. Now. The universe is going to fix this glitch that has EVERY random Sensitive clocking my energy as "witchy," RIGHT?! Like, love y'all but you can STOP perceiving me.

Listening to "Whatcha Say" & love that it's both a banger, and difficult to sympathize with. Love complexities. Also that they left all the artist tags in the streaming version, like YES, take us back to a time where we needed to know their name so we could buy physical media!

Up next, Push It by Salt n Pepa.

Honestly think the "shooters" are just doing this to fuck with Kash Patel at this point, and honestly if they can't hit their target, I support their secondary goal.