Hayley Williams kicked off her first-ever solo tour in Atlanta, Georgia tonight. She performed every song from ‘Ego Death At A Bachelorette Party’ — one of last year’s best albums — most of them for the first time.

Seeing Hayley Williams perform Parachutes live would heal me

Finding size 13W shoes is a nightmare

@ me next time

Blue Prince is an absolute masterpiece

“They’ve called every member of SAG-AFTRA back to set—it’s a complete disaster,” said an anonymous studio executive

Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost https://theonion.com/trump-asks-when-he-gets-to-kill-olympians-who-lost/

Emo girl playing trombone on TikTok has the normies in a chokehold over a two-note slide

I'm cold and tired, let's start a fire, and then we'll fall asleep. You and me, oh, you and me.

This is not a paid advertisement. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com to receive the newspaper and see more print-exclusive content.

CAN I PET THAT DOG????

wwe is a clown show of clowns

My ex's going live on YT and being annoying was not on my bingo card

I did my most Hispanic thing yet and added a 6 foot tall shelf to my kitchen

Bigoted Asshole Makes The Best Barbecue theonion.com/bigoted...

😍😍😍😍😍 😍 Netflix 😍 😍 May 8 😍 😍😍😍😍😍

Bought this at Amoeba Music in Hollywood when it came out. I specifically got the girl version cause they were sold out of the boy version.

You don't know fear until you have the Jabberwockie slowly walking towards you

I killed disco

No one else will have me like you do. No one else will have me, only you.

15 years I should be over this

Excited for the new raids cause I get to hang with my friends again

I made French Onion Soup for the first time last time and it was delicious but now my bedroom has become a gas chamber

Been getting spam emails from my pharmacy for "follow up for you STI medications. Please get a follow up test" BRUH I've only ever gotten GOUT medicine from you

And I am an ally. If you are too, let the world know.

Can't wait

"And in your busy, dizzy life you will become everything you said you would." www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qmU...

Guitar

When did Peripheral Vision turn 10 years old???

I've been saying League of Legends has sucked since high school.

Welp time to replay BG3

"I'll put my fingers in the door, so when I close it on you I'll hurt a little bit too"

I miss Hotel Books

Yo fuck ICE

Me when driving in LA

Never mind

Sorry to all my former coworkers I got addicted to TikTok. I didn't know this would happen.

Sphene my Queen! #FFXIV #FFXIVART

I’m a gun owner, and I respect the rights of responsible gun owners. That said, the second amendment will continue to be watered with the blood of children until the laws change.

It's Jan 1st. Time to start on my taxes

Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed The Grinch,

There is a trauma you share with someone you worked with for several years. A former coworker of mine I worked at McDonald's for 9 years with passed away of cancer yesterday. I didn't know her outside work and didn't maintain a friendship after we stopped working together but I'm still very sad

Medicare replacement plans are such a fucking scam

Monthly reminder that I have a very parasocial relationship with @vicmmic.bsky.social while she doesn't even know I exist

My leg cramped so hard it's sore

Oh yeah let me open up fflogs to check on how the race is goi-

I downloaded FFXI again

My eyes are so dry today I can hear my blinks