Me: god I’ve been spending so much money on perfume samples lately. Three sample orders??? Someone take my credit card away, I’m surely going to be destitute at this rate Husband: imma buy me a new car

Foaming at the mouth waiting for my sorce perfume samples to ship

My only fans alternative is all of the local animal shelter adoptable dog pages

I have a cousin who just turned 13 and decided his entertainment yesterday was eating only pickled onions and breathing into his mom’s face. She’s got her work cut out for her 😬

I like drinking and drawing but frequently I get in the zone and completely forget about my drink lol

I love a cheesy ass romance anime with these stupid fuck oblivious bitches

doc recommended me try a new therapeutic treatment for depression called “bashing head against wall”

When my piano teacher says in order to be better at jazz improvisation I have to practice scales

W atching O ffense R aging, L ooming D efense, C ountries U nite P eepee poopoo

I love scheming and plotting

I’ve GOT to start paying more attention to serving sizes when choosing recipes. These cookies are going to be fucking enormous

A lil doggy taking a nap in the marsh 🐶🌾 This took way too long I NEED to stop making my canvases so big #pixelart

Need to get off my ass and get myself another tattoo already

I love love love summer market culture I don’t even have to buy things I just want to stroll

I also get booed wherever I go, due to my ways

My piano teacher is a deeply unserious person. Shows up late with something on his eyelash, which we find out is a piece of popcorn kernel. I ask him what he does in his free time and he’s learning how to handstand.

Oh you KNOW I need an industrial size barrel of goo gone

I’m tired someone hang me from the rafters and gut me like a fish

Gonna quit my job to become a rodeo clown *gets gored immediately*

the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

Yo when the fuck did a Baja blast freeze REGULAR start costing almost $5??

Aight who pullin up to get drawn and quartered tonite ‼️🗣️

Is it wrong to flaunt your new haircut in front of your bald coworker

….I think it’s quite possible my piano teacher cancelled my lesson today because it was a nice day. And you know what. I can’t even blame the guy

My mii is on a 5 mii rejection streak in tomodachi life 😔 girl down

Seattle. Why are you like this

Obsession but me wishing my cat would love me

Why is un bien closed 2/3 days im in office ugh. I want to eat a sloppy sandwich on the beach on a Monday!!!

My life is a constant battle between my love for my friends and my need for space

Computa make this girl have a good night sleep

leafeon in the garden!

if you date men it is your duty to society to immediately cut those things down to at least 4" of exposed thigh and steadily work upward from there

Yeah sure I’ll watch a video on a guy playing every Barbie game. That sounds like a good use of my time

baba's domain 🐈‍⬛ collab with @bothpalms.bsky.social :)

Will never not throw me off when someone calls arugula fucking “rocket”

My sleep schedule is so fucked man

More men shoudl wear shorts and dance we women decree

It’s 1 am and I’m tipsy so you know what time it is. Time to harass my cats

Hiccups at karaoke is gonna ruin my flow

I’m so excited for Renegade Craft tomorrow 👀

Smelling like an apple fritter today 😤

We’re three for three on people with comedic backgrounds making really good horror movies, who’s gonna be next up to bat

Love when a movie makes me sit in my car in silence for a bit afterwards

emerges awesomely and cutely

Me: oooooh exciting I’m gonna have the house to myself! Me, when I have the house to myself: ok now what

I wish younger me could see how hot I am now, she’s be so happy ☺️🥹 (and maybe it would have saved some pain lmao)

This artwork is titled Strada con lampioni (Street with Lampposts), painted by the Italian artist Salvo (Salvatore Mangione) in 2001.

Accidentally muttered I was gonna k*ll myself when I messed up during my piano lesson. I’m so sorry dude I just be saying that