Yesterday, I went to the beach with my support worker.

Zeus sleeps on my bed every night, pops outside for a mooch first thing, then comes back to join me whilst I have a coffee in bed. I got him when I came out of hospital the first time, and intended for him to be a companion to aid in recovery. He sure is a companion and has helped in so many ways.

My niece has just been diagnosed with binge eating disorder and ARFID - BUT they can’t offer her any treatment or therapy because Cornwall doesn’t have funding for those diagnoses! wtf?! Not sure why I’m surprised though, when they only treat anorexia if you’re below a certain weight!

Argh!

Loki only turned 1 last month and we haven’t even had him for a year. It’s just so sad. So hard.

Zeus is really missing Loki. Hes been in and out the back door like a yo-yo. Laying in all of his favourite spots and just generally quite unsettled. He slept with me all night last night (not unusual) but it was horrible waking up to only one cat. Miss you Loki. ❤️ Love you Zeus. ❤️

I wonder if I’ll ever stop crying over losing my beloved cat?

Today has been hard, but I still went out with my support worker. We went to Truro, where I printed some photos of Loki and purchased some frames for Abs!

We just got back from the vets. Loki has been euthanised. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to watch / do. Our poor boy has gone.

I’m waiting for a call back from the vet, but it looks like we are going to have to euthanise Loki. I am absolutely heartbroken and can’t stop crying.

The vet just called. He was really quite poorly! His kidney enzymes were high - one reading was off the charts & his electrolytes were all screwed up. He’s taking longer than usual to come around from the anaesthetic, so they repeated the bloods incase his kidney levels & electrolytes are still out.

I caved and called the vets because I was too impatient to wait any longer. Loki came out of anaesthetic nicely (still a bit sleepy). They emptied his bladder & flushed his system. He’s peeing on his own & just need to monitor to make sure it continues. ❤️ (1/2)

My daughter keeps bursting into tears over Loki! 😢

That’s an estimate of £1,300 for Loki’s treatment. He has a blockage in his bladder that has lead to neurological symptoms. They need to release the blockage under anaesthesia, find out the cause, do a blood test, give him fluids, and monitor him overnight.

I need to take Loki to the vets at 11:30am. It is going to cost £120 just for the consultation because it’s Sunday, but I can’t leave him until tomorrow just to save money - he’s not doing good at all.

Poor Loki has worms! 😭😩

mum | mental health activist | eating disorder recovery | cat enthusiast | lover of woods, forests, elephants and orcas | neurodivergent.

I’ve done the weekly food shop. Now it’s time to collect my prescriptions. Really just want to go back to bed! Argh!

My prescriptions were meant to be ready to collect yesterday, but surprise surprise, they weren’t. I’m going to try and collect them after I’ve been and done the weekly food shopping today. Fingers crossed they’re ready, because I need them for tonight!

Love this little dude

In bed with my snuggle buddy, Zeus!

“You can micromanage your body, or you can live your damn life ….. but you can’t do both”

"You can't keep dancing with the devil and ask why you're still in hell"

Back home and in bed, watching ER.

Walked to mum and dad’s this morning, as I had an appointment out that way. Now I’m out with my support worker, in Perranporth again, drinking ice coffee in the sun. The weather is beautiful!

I have washing on the line that’s nearly dry, and more washing in the machine! The sunny, windy, weather is welcome.

These are important. I need to remember them.

It’s the final session of the peer support eating disorder recovery group today. I’m not sure I can say I’ve learned anything new, if I’m being honest. But, I took part in something that was offered to me by the team and it’s been a useful space to air my thoughts and feelings around recovery.

Even after all these years, and multiple rewatches, Mark Greene’s death still makes me cry my eyes out. Saddest TV death for sure. #ER #TVShow

I went to Perranporth with my support worker today. We had a walk across the beach, a coffee in the sun (and wind) and a mooch in the shops. I’m home and back in bed now.

Mornings in bed with coffee and these two for company #cats #coffee

I’m on to season 8 of ER now ….. two tragic words spring to mind …. Mark and Greene 😭

I didn’t get out today. I did stand in the garden to hang some washing out though, if that counts? Ha!

How do I get myself out of the house? #Depression

I am watching season 7 ER (2001) Abby just bought 2 slurpees, some twinkees, an egg salad sandwich and some cigarettes - all for less than $10! #MindBlown #Inflation

I was curled up in bed with Zeus, until Abs came in, then Zeus thought the grass would be greener with her. 2 mins later she’s telling him to leave her room! You snooze you lose, Zeus!

I went and did the weekly food shop this morning, then climbed back into bed afterwards! Ugh! #Depression

Had to change my username to something different to my threads/instagram username, for reasons.

I need to leave the house more, or at least be more productive around the house. I’m just ……. existing at the moment and it bloody sucks! #Depression

Backshall says orca sighting off Cornwall 'greatest British wildlife encounter' https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33l5dngm45o 🐬 #cetaceans #marinemammals #marinelife #marinebiology #dolphins #whales #Science #orcas

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Suicide

April is #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth.

I was late diagnosed as autistic at age 40 in 2023, after years of struggling with often severe mental health issues, with little relief. Being diagnosed has helped me to realise that I’m not broken, I just need to do some things a little differently. There’s so much I could say, but in short -

Just been to Ladock Woods 🌲 and we are now at the Garden Centre for coffee ☕️

Just had a phone call from the doctors about being put in touch with a social prescriber to hopefully help me to find things I can fill my time with, things I enjoy etc to help reduce the chances of relapse. Hopefully they’ll be useful. I just need help leaving the house on my own!

I don’t know what time my support worker is coming today because I haven’t been given my rota and it’s stressing me out. I’ve emailed the coordinators but not heard anything from them yet! I’m going to have to call them if I don’t hear soon, but phone calls stress me out more!

Both cats are fast asleep with me. Loki🐈 at my feet and Zeus 🐈‍⬛ by my bum!

I also had a good catch up with my friends. They’re friends from my old work place. I’ve been officially unemployed for just over a year, but haven’t worked properly since October 2023.

I bought a book at the garden centre haha

I’m meeting friends soon for a mooch around a garden centre, as we always do! Coffee will be consumed too, of course!