I’m a fuckin liar

3D printers give me the same vibe as pyramid schemes

deactivated my insta and fb again so imma be on here from now on

ngl ive been to hell and back and then back to hell these past couple of months. I would like a break pls

snow day bánh mì

can't spell HATRED without RED HAT

I feel if owls could talk they would all have British accents

who fucking allowed skinny jeans to make a comeback

ok so the costco sushi lowkey slaps

damn they’re fr banning tiktok I thought they would at least delay it

I feel so embarrassed posting on here I don’t know why

I love when my students think I’m drinking tea or coffee in the morning and it’s just miso soup

ngl the agnosticism briefly disappears for a moment when I hear the christmas bangers

I have five divorced friends that would disagree

me tn when I was the only auburn fan at the party

shoutout to those girls that make their wedding photos their entire personality. I eagerly await for every holiday, birthday or special occasion for you to post another one.

paying an etsy witch to hex him

during the winter im like 2pm white. you know when the sun is always glaring in your eyes and folks make jokes about being blinded by the light? thats me.

weagleeeeeee let’s goooooo

I would literally book a flight if there was a Jeff Goldbloom look-alike contest somewhere

eating grapes under the table did not work last NYE so this year I am going to bring a gun

me when I get 0 likes

okay I’ve healed and I’m ready to get my heart ripped out again

mike tyson is too old. he should have stepped aside months ago and let kamala take over

that fight was elder abuse

i wish climate knew she doesn't have to change for nobody :(

all right let’s try this bluesky thing out again

I lied

okay since I refuse to pay $$$ for Twitter I am back here permanently

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999 I want to buy groceries like it’s 1999

today I feel like I am in that one scene from Elf where I’m Jodie and I’m trying to cut ribbon and my boss is yelling at me that it’s gotta be 6 inches

🍑 margs!!!

The most relatable part about Mamma Mia is Sophie having two friends and her fiancé having like 20+ friends

I GOT THE JOB YALL 🥰‼️

why are we letting gently alive motherfuckers run Congress

I’m halfway to a masters degree and I still need help with my left and right

I have now gotten the itch back to see movies in the theaters again

first person in my company history to file for worker’s comp LMAOOO

not a big fan of ai generated music but something about the Frank Sinatra covers scratch the back of my brain justttt right

i really luv talking to myself nobody knows me like me

In the trunk of my car rn I have 2 Tommy Bahama chairs, 1 full set of golf clubs & a portable grill… to say I have gone full dad mode in my mid 20s would be an understatement

found a bird

Me trying to fit in with the Pinterest girlies

I’m all about sustainable fashion thats why I exclusively wear the same T-shirt/athletic shorts combos that I’ve had since high school

thinking about her <3

Threads? In post-Roe America? Naaaaaaaaaaah.

it’s just me and my emotional support XXL large faded Sublime T-shirt against the world

mustard really is that girl

Reconnecting with my Twitter mutuals

New cop 💸💅🏻‼️