7yo watching the highway rat: “this is what it was like in the old days” wife: “what when rats rode around in costumes? When do you think that happened?” 7yo (with confidence): 1989

Harsh burn on Keir’s “trying to swallow a whole meatball” speaking voice

I mean I was there - and it wasn’t like there were an exceptional number of changes for live telly.

This crack cocaine advent calendar has been both expensive and a real time sink

If you see this, post a comic cover you love

Always fancied reading Henry James, but never found a really good translation

If you can’t spot the error, it’s McCclaren.

I guess the new observer isn’t into F1.

This weeks show features the words broccoli, pre-muttonite and cum, as well as a detailed voicemail apology from Richard Osman

Brown trout

Hear the line from the Reith lectures you won’t hear on the BBC. Plus Lucy Porter explaining why she’s not appearing on the show, and a cake iced with the words “Donald Trump is a f**king a***hole”. All in this week’s The Moment for this week, out this week (today)

Still not clear to me how the gap between where we are now and AGI is different than the gap between building something that looks like a body and making it come to life.

In a(nother) depressing week of news, this latest podcast contains the words “kerosene”, “catheter” and “whole roast turtle”, plus a v unconvincing apology from Frankie Boyle

So I went to a minor public school not unlike Farage’s in the early 90s. And there was a Nazi guy in the sixth form. Who was just the “school Nazi”. Brushed his hair like Hitler. Eventually got expelled for racially abusing a kid in the year above me. We just thought it was one of those things.

This new asylum policy from labour is vile and betrays labour values. It ignores the reality of refugee peoples’ lives, aspirations, families… it betrays our obligations to help the most vulnerable and IT WILL NOT DETER SMALL BOATS. It’s a grim day.

“It’s been declined, do you have any other method of payment?”

Does give the children a good grasp of the concept of “roll on roll off”. For much more like that, check The Moment With Miles Jupp podcast in all the usual and unusual places this morning

I swear the Mandela effect used to be called the Mandala effect

What a useful technology.

Currently listening to Donovan’s A Gift From A Flower To A Garden which is a) excellent and b) a very @eddierobson.bsky.social type album I think

This headline basically describes all of popular entertainment now

Grateful for all the enthusiasm for my defence of Lisa Nandy’s arts policy. Don’t buy me a coffee, do please consider trying our thing podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Nandy: we need to lecture the tv business about their prejudices towards northern towns Spad: shall I put in this bit implying no one from Bradford has ever won a BAFTA Nandy: yeah don’t bother to check it, that sounds right

Me: imagine if the next MP came from Wigan, Barnsley or Bradford Lisa Nandy: that question doesn’t even make sense, and there have been MPs from those places. It’s like you don’t know what you’re talking about

Genuinely, bring back Mad Nad. You got the sense she’d occasionally read a book, even if she ended up chewing it. And she may not have understood how Channel 4 was funded, but I think she could have made a stab at guessing HOW THE SODDING BAFTAS WORK AND THAT PEOPLE FROM NORTHERN TOWNS HAVE THEM.

As she’s Culture Secretary, Lisa Nandy won’t need me to tell her who this is or where he was born.

I mean IMAGINE if Bradford had famous historic links with cinema. IMAGINE if a multiple Oscar nominated British actor, arguably THE most respected living British actor, had been brought up in Wigan, YOUR OWN F**KING CONSTITUENCY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BAFTA winner from Basildon here. Couldn't have done it without TIE/YPT provision in schools, without full (non-loaned) grant for university, without some basic state provision without hassle when I was finding my feet...all of which has gone. Invest in creativity.

Actually, my BAFTA is genuinely dented and awaiting repairs because my son threw it over the fence during a meltdown. He’s been waiting a year for his DLA tribunal. It’s all glamour in our business, right Lisa?

This week! Contains the words “bedbath”, “bonesaws” and “bastards” plus Vicki Pepperdine explains why she won’t be making a guest appearance, thank you podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Hi Lisa Nandy! I’m a BAFTA winner from a small town. Instead of asinine questions like this, why not tell us how we can continue to make a living in the eviscerated creative sector over which you notionally preside?

Boujis was massive, so will be wherever Prince George hangs out in a few years. It’s just we’re in a period where all the royals are middle aged.

Our show is live today. A weekly concentrated burst of satire, a juice shot of topicality, ten minutes of calling specific politicians racist.

8 days to go - but if we were going out this week: “Boris Johnson says he uses ChatGPT to write his books. So we asked it to come up with the next joke. It responded “Hello, it looks like you’re writing a letter. Heil Hitler.”

If we were going out this week: “Nigel Farage has complained about the National Trust putting “vegan tampons” in their gents toilets, saying that if he has to visit Hatfield House, the least he should be able to do is punctuate the monotony by shoving an entire ham knuckle up his bottom.”

If we were going out this week: “The Nobel Peace Prize committee resisted pressure to give the award to Donald Trump, but when it comes to the Forward Prize for Poetry, we can expect those spineless rhyming pricks to fold up like a deckchair”

If we were going out this week, we might say “Kemi Badenoch wants to slash the number of university degrees, encouraging British teenagers to focus on more economically productive life choices, like becoming sentient organ banks for the aristocracy of Saudi Arabia”

If we were starting this week, we might say something like “Robert Jenrick complained that he walked through Handsworth, and didn’t see a single person who failed to recognise him as a three day old turd that had somehow acquired the gift of speech.”

Be like Eulalia (I am not Eulalia)

I'll sign up as soon as it's in my feed. Just what the doctor ordered

Been developing this for a long time - do please try, subscribe, reskeet, ignore as you see fit

There are few more cherished beliefs in the north than the idea that people in other parts of the country do not identify with their own local football club

This Jimmy Kimmel thing is awful. It would be like if the BBC got rid of the Mash Report and Frankie Boyle’s show just because Robbie Gibb doesn’t like them.

Hot ironmongery has never been bigger business, claims blacksmith to bailiffs

One of these institutions has a selective admissions policy

Amazing the amount of pornography you have to watch to stay on top of all the slang you have to forbid your children from saying around the home

Bit weird but whatever gets you in the mood I guess

7yo (cheerful, conversational): “I nearly got run over today, which would mean I was dead, which would be bad for me, but it wouldn’t be so bad for you, because you’ll be dead soon anyway, like when I’m 25, but that’s ok, because you will be at heaven with the angels, and you will be at peace”

What a useful technology