What a useful technology.

Currently listening to Donovan’s A Gift From A Flower To A Garden which is a) excellent and b) a very @eddierobson.bsky.social type album I think

This headline basically describes all of popular entertainment now

Grateful for all the enthusiasm for my defence of Lisa Nandy’s arts policy. Don’t buy me a coffee, do please consider trying our thing podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Nandy: we need to lecture the tv business about their prejudices towards northern towns Spad: shall I put in this bit implying no one from Bradford has ever won a BAFTA Nandy: yeah don’t bother to check it, that sounds right

Me: imagine if the next MP came from Wigan, Barnsley or Bradford Lisa Nandy: that question doesn’t even make sense, and there have been MPs from those places. It’s like you don’t know what you’re talking about

Genuinely, bring back Mad Nad. You got the sense she’d occasionally read a book, even if she ended up chewing it. And she may not have understood how Channel 4 was funded, but I think she could have made a stab at guessing HOW THE SODDING BAFTAS WORK AND THAT PEOPLE FROM NORTHERN TOWNS HAVE THEM.

As she’s Culture Secretary, Lisa Nandy won’t need me to tell her who this is or where he was born.

I mean IMAGINE if Bradford had famous historic links with cinema. IMAGINE if a multiple Oscar nominated British actor, arguably THE most respected living British actor, had been brought up in Wigan, YOUR OWN F**KING CONSTITUENCY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

BAFTA winner from Basildon here. Couldn't have done it without TIE/YPT provision in schools, without full (non-loaned) grant for university, without some basic state provision without hassle when I was finding my feet...all of which has gone. Invest in creativity.

Actually, my BAFTA is genuinely dented and awaiting repairs because my son threw it over the fence during a meltdown. He’s been waiting a year for his DLA tribunal. It’s all glamour in our business, right Lisa?

This week! Contains the words “bedbath”, “bonesaws” and “bastards” plus Vicki Pepperdine explains why she won’t be making a guest appearance, thank you podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Hi Lisa Nandy! I’m a BAFTA winner from a small town. Instead of asinine questions like this, why not tell us how we can continue to make a living in the eviscerated creative sector over which you notionally preside?

Boujis was massive, so will be wherever Prince George hangs out in a few years. It’s just we’re in a period where all the royals are middle aged.

Our show is live today. A weekly concentrated burst of satire, a juice shot of topicality, ten minutes of calling specific politicians racist.

8 days to go - but if we were going out this week: “Boris Johnson says he uses ChatGPT to write his books. So we asked it to come up with the next joke. It responded “Hello, it looks like you’re writing a letter. Heil Hitler.”

If we were going out this week: “Nigel Farage has complained about the National Trust putting “vegan tampons” in their gents toilets, saying that if he has to visit Hatfield House, the least he should be able to do is punctuate the monotony by shoving an entire ham knuckle up his bottom.”

If we were going out this week: “The Nobel Peace Prize committee resisted pressure to give the award to Donald Trump, but when it comes to the Forward Prize for Poetry, we can expect those spineless rhyming pricks to fold up like a deckchair”

If we were going out this week, we might say “Kemi Badenoch wants to slash the number of university degrees, encouraging British teenagers to focus on more economically productive life choices, like becoming sentient organ banks for the aristocracy of Saudi Arabia”

If we were starting this week, we might say something like “Robert Jenrick complained that he walked through Handsworth, and didn’t see a single person who failed to recognise him as a three day old turd that had somehow acquired the gift of speech.”

Be like Eulalia (I am not Eulalia)

I'll sign up as soon as it's in my feed. Just what the doctor ordered

Been developing this for a long time - do please try, subscribe, reskeet, ignore as you see fit

There are few more cherished beliefs in the north than the idea that people in other parts of the country do not identify with their own local football club

This Jimmy Kimmel thing is awful. It would be like if the BBC got rid of the Mash Report and Frankie Boyle’s show just because Robbie Gibb doesn’t like them.

Hot ironmongery has never been bigger business, claims blacksmith to bailiffs

One of these institutions has a selective admissions policy

Amazing the amount of pornography you have to watch to stay on top of all the slang you have to forbid your children from saying around the home

Bit weird but whatever gets you in the mood I guess

7yo (cheerful, conversational): “I nearly got run over today, which would mean I was dead, which would be bad for me, but it wouldn’t be so bad for you, because you’ll be dead soon anyway, like when I’m 25, but that’s ok, because you will be at heaven with the angels, and you will be at peace”

What a useful technology

I increasingly feel that Farage becoming PM is like Alan Shearer becoming Newcastle manager, a clearly bad idea that acquires its own gravitational inevitability and all sensible people can do is pray it’s over quickly and prepare to rebuild in the Threads-like wreckage

As I was slowly dismembered by the psychotic axeman, I kept thinking to myself, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

If you’ve not been to Reading for a few years, a visit will blow your mind. Went there for work in Jan, it looks like a drizzly empty Dubai

What a useful technology

America's answer to Frankie & Wayne Bridge are getting hitched

It’s not impossible to know that. It’s very possible. On the grounds that mirroring previous interactions and regurgitating existing data is literally all this thing can do.

I see it’s 1994 again

(VERY hastily designed) Flyer Reveal! Obviously I'd love to give you all one in person, but time is of the essence and logistics may not allow - so please print off and fling in a bin at your earliest convenience. And then come along! Cyril (WIP) 4pm, 20-24 August, Hotel Indigo York Place (PWYW)

Read that sentence back to yourself

Laser targeted boomer scamming

I’m assuming the people who said “no never” just didn’t have a Deputy Head when they were at school

We apologise for our religious segment containing moral judgements

Real carrot and stick energy in Dover this am

Setting Who aside, Michael Grade and Jonathan Powell were really good at their jobs.

This is a great thought

Hogwarts is very unrealistic. Not so much the magic stuff, just you never have a posh school without at least one of the teachers being a nonce

Fuck me but Enter K is an absolute banger of an album. Remember it being good, stuck it on 20 minutes ago and it’s just non stop top drawer. #godsavethehamm

What a useful technology.