This Jimmy Kimmel thing is awful. It would be like if the BBC got rid of the Mash Report and Frankie Boyle’s show just because Robbie Gibb doesn’t like them.

Hot ironmongery has never been bigger business, claims blacksmith to bailiffs

One of these institutions has a selective admissions policy

Amazing the amount of pornography you have to watch to stay on top of all the slang you have to forbid your children from saying around the home

Bit weird but whatever gets you in the mood I guess

7yo (cheerful, conversational): “I nearly got run over today, which would mean I was dead, which would be bad for me, but it wouldn’t be so bad for you, because you’ll be dead soon anyway, like when I’m 25, but that’s ok, because you will be at heaven with the angels, and you will be at peace”

What a useful technology

I increasingly feel that Farage becoming PM is like Alan Shearer becoming Newcastle manager, a clearly bad idea that acquires its own gravitational inevitability and all sensible people can do is pray it’s over quickly and prepare to rebuild in the Threads-like wreckage

As I was slowly dismembered by the psychotic axeman, I kept thinking to myself, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

If you’ve not been to Reading for a few years, a visit will blow your mind. Went there for work in Jan, it looks like a drizzly empty Dubai

What a useful technology

America's answer to Frankie & Wayne Bridge are getting hitched

It’s not impossible to know that. It’s very possible. On the grounds that mirroring previous interactions and regurgitating existing data is literally all this thing can do.

I see it’s 1994 again

(VERY hastily designed) Flyer Reveal! Obviously I'd love to give you all one in person, but time is of the essence and logistics may not allow - so please print off and fling in a bin at your earliest convenience. And then come along! Cyril (WIP) 4pm, 20-24 August, Hotel Indigo York Place (PWYW)

Read that sentence back to yourself

Laser targeted boomer scamming

I’m assuming the people who said “no never” just didn’t have a Deputy Head when they were at school

We apologise for our religious segment containing moral judgements

Real carrot and stick energy in Dover this am

Setting Who aside, Michael Grade and Jonathan Powell were really good at their jobs.

This is a great thought

Hogwarts is very unrealistic. Not so much the magic stuff, just you never have a posh school without at least one of the teachers being a nonce

Fuck me but Enter K is an absolute banger of an album. Remember it being good, stuck it on 20 minutes ago and it’s just non stop top drawer. #godsavethehamm

What a useful technology.

In these deeply uncertain times, it’s great to find inspiring words that one can live by, the sort of thing you’d like to see carved into marble in every public square, the sort of thing you’d like every school age child to be taught to recite

Is the answer “any points”

NO IT FUCKING ISNT ALL THE CREATIVES ARE FUCKING **BROKE**

This may be very old fashioned of me, but I was of the understanding that it was not sustainable to go around sacking Labour MPs not for any specific infraction, but simply because you don’t like the cut of their jib

But as the victory margin was eight votes with a turnout of 22%, it also might not

Old Bill Shakespeare joins the ranks of all those of us who’ve at some point had a sniffy write up from Chortle

It occurs to me that the prospect of LLMs might have been the one thing that could have made Philip Larkin feel better about dying

Bang on. The same trends are operating in music, film and TV. But because there hasn’t (yet) been a cliff edge moment, no ones really noticing

Daughter: is that Amazon package for me? Me: no Daughter: who’s it for Me: Hitler Daughter: who’s Hitler Me: you have a lot to learn

Mate your Tory party is dying like Little Nell

Miles and this guy introduced a movie at the BFI this week

Nice Exec: The TV industry is going through a reset. Me: doesn’t a reset end with something coming on again

These protests we hate are not like the protests of old (which we also hated)

My most contrarian opinion is that all the things she mentions fall into a reasonably acceptable definition of irony

As a dad of someone with severe communication impairment, the people who grift money out of parents for this stuff should be in the nick

OH WHATS THAT HAS THE DCMS GOT SHAFTED AGAIN GOODNESS ME WHAT A SURPRISE

Reykjedward

Sycamore Gap II

One of the many great things about Pop Performer is the title. “What are those lads you see on top of the pops called, Chris?” “Pop performers” “is that what everyone calls them?” “Yes definitely now shut up and let me write Moonraker”

Found myself earnestly ranking the Confessions films to my wife the other day, like they were Beatles albums or fine wines

Join me as I achieve one of my more eccentric life ambitions, introducing a film at the BFI

Wang literally everything on Frankie Dettoris seven winners

I don’t gamble, so to enjoy the thrill of gaining and losing sums of money unrelated to the exercising of any skill, I simply work as a freelancer

“Why are you scratching your arse Colm?” “Because I’ve got a

Always nice to stumble across a baby name whose time has come