you would think if a teen steals the glasses right off your face and then you do this to yourself you’re at rock bottom but our man is an innovator in the humiliation space

tactical sausage

jfc that was the worst win i’ve ever seen

reader, the rage in my heart right now

our entire offense is punt returns

i’m really not that guy but arch honestly does suck ass

the texas offense makes me want to swallow my own tongue

i am just a humble shitposter but this seems like a genuinely terrible idea for all involved parties

let's get out there and have a few small beers everybody

it's such an old fashioned term, but a beautiful term [lips directly against the microphone] surging beef

Art

that’s for sure an auburn td, yeah?

hook them imo

my numerous doubters and haters can’t say shit imo

gang i have fallen egregiously behind in my gumbo prep and i’m speedrunning this roux, prayers up for ya boy

every week, without fail, i forget what became of the pac diaspora and conference realignment begins in my head anew

oh you don’t care about my fantasy team? you don’t want to hear about how i drafted cam skattebo as a flyer in the 8th round? grow up

just as we all predicted the texans are tied with the chiefs and ahead of the ravens five games into the season

imagine fighting a senior citizen over a parking space and him just fucking your whole entire world all the way up, could not and absolutely would not be me

this remains true but even moreso in terms of not catching a felony charge for it

i endeavor to live my life in such a way that i’m never arrested for my own stabbing

let me be the latest to say that one battle after another is a fucking incredible film and i already want to be seeing it again

on the bright side matthew caldwell completed 100% of his pass for an average of 26 yards per that pass and a qbr of 100

honestly the “arch is a 3 star” truthers must feel incredible right now, great call by the haters

hideous, an affront to god

this longhorn offense is cheeks

starting to suspect this will not be unc’s day

funniest outcome: bregman beating the yankees again or chapman getting walked off again?

ha ha pretty cool to exist in this moment! incredible

ol sentient legume lookin ass

2002 was objectively mid at best and shopping at walmart is not a thing that any actual human being remembers with fondness

this is what happens when i get stuck on a call that i have no business being on

hell yeah that's right jabari smith jr

i must reluctantly respect kenley jansen’s whole deal of throwing exactly one pitch in the most annoying way possible

enjoy your weekend everyone

somewhat lost in this insane video: he only dropped the gun because he just kinda tucked it into the regular ass belt on his skinny jeans, aimed directly at his dick and balls

truly sickening. in a just society, this man would be fired, arrested, and prosecuted, but here we are. this place fucking sucks

I would like the child sacrificed to stop, either by we stop doing them, or we acquire an orb with some kind of enchantment, I don't want to be too prescriptive about it, but an orb or other artifact with magical properties that causes them to stop.

it's not even true! the astros don't have the tiebreaker over detroit, so they need to make up two games! feels like a gm should know this!

i will miss baseball, but also, will i?

i once tried to read a first edition hardy boys book to my kids, but had to bail out pretty quickly because i didn't realize they originally contained insanely racist caricatures and were all later rewritten. anyway,

have we considered that the rapture did happen but no one made the cut

the automated ball-strike challenge system presented by t-mobile 5G network

i wish nick caserio was on this fucking app so i could yell at him

jaguars texans is a genuinely miserable viewing experience for both fanbases

i am once again asking teams to please just fair catch kickoffs for the love of god

they used to disappear you for throwing horns down

with 9 games to play, the astros are 2 games out of a first round bye, 3 games up on not making the playoffs at all, and simultaneously the #3 and #5 seed