“We’re taking the country back — one and a half inches at a time.” medium.com/@ryanwolin/m...

A humor piece inspired by my favorite movie… “Prison walls couldn’t contain my father. The same could not be said for the prison sewage system.” medium.com/@ryanwolin/m...

Ever wondered why Mike Johnson is always oblivious to the latest Trump scandals? I wrote about it. medium.com/@ryanwolin/i...

Check out my @mcsweeneys.net interview for their Behind The Tendency Classics series. It has shoutouts to @shadesofgreaves.bsky.social, Sam Woods (Bluesky whereabouts unknown) & @mikedrucker.bsky.social, whose great work served as a cheat sheet—I mean—inspiration. www.patreon.com/posts/behind...

Some leaders go down in history, others just go down. My latest for @mcsweeneys.net

"Yes, there’s danger in opening our gates to this statue. But there’s also danger in keeping it out… the danger of eroding the sanctity of the gift-giving process."

You know who's actually meeting this moment well? McSweeney's. They've been on absolute fire.

“Desperate times call for incremental measures.” My piece in @mcsweeneys.net www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-v...

My McSweeney’s post on the Top 12 post-birth abortion methods. Come for Baby Plinko, stay for the Mobile of Daggers. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/twe...

My humor piece on Oklahoma’s awful, new, right-wing curriculum… “If your new immigrant neighbor breaks a different Commandment every 4 days, what’s the longest he could go before coveting your wife?” medium.com/@ryanwolin/m...

My final humor piece on the election… “This country needs new ideas, even if all the ideas are about stabbing. The status quo isn’t working, I want the stabus quo.” medium.com/@ryanwolin/t...

“When I watch the movie Tremors, why do I identify with the worms!?” www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-e...

“Offenders will be executed and have their heads placed on pikes (7-irons) as a warning to others.” www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/why...

Most likely to build up a tolerance to Mace: TED CRUZ medium.com/@ryanwolin/t...

When the horse didn’t win or place, he decided to show them all. medium.com/@ryanwolin/w...

“EDITOR’S NOTE: We’ve removed all mentions of The Baconator after learning God received financial compensation from Wendy’s for each one.” medium.com/@ryanwolin/g...