"see? he's not in the files! just like he said." - republicans when discussing a guy whose name appears 38,000 times in the files.

👇👇👇👇

i love having grownup money

this is the best youtube video of 2026 so far, and it's not even close

coworker gave me my new favorite turn of phrase. "i would like to put him in a stew." it's so versatile. it can be positive or negative.

small victory in the grand scheme of things. but good news nonetheless. i love Wisconsin so much :3 share.google/ioUFKtx1pdR5...

it's always the alleged ball knowers who know the least ball that claim women can't know ball. ball is really not that hard to know.

Cincinnati Love Is Blind confirmed yippee

me when i mistake the sound of loose rocks clattering around in my skull for a coherent thought, and no one is around to take my phone away

things might get tough. but every day i get to go home to my wife and dog. and every time they're both so excited to see me. so i got that going for me.

this has always been a secondary goal of these cloud-based "hardware as a service" devices. there is no reason that a live video feed ever needs to leave your network. if it does, exercise some healthy skepticism and ask yourself why. unplug your bugs!

with this wonky ass NFL season, there was so much opportunity for fun conference championships. jags, bears, texans, or bills wouldve all been cool to see play this late in january. instead we get seahawks & rams and patriots & broncos. ughhhhnnnngnh

this is what it has come to for Mexican restaurants in the Twin Cities

if i hear "ball comes out, and New England falls on it!" one more time im going to lose my mind. the texans have the worst divisional playoff offense ive seen in my life.

nvm i think i've seen enough

i have a new favorite bit. someone has an item i go "woah i guess i didnt get the [name of item] memo!" so like imagine ur wearing a red sweatshirt and i go "woah i guess i didnt get the red sweatshirt memo!" you'd be devastated. i got you. so good.

hosting feels so good. the means to plan an evening to dine with people you enjoy comfortably in your own space is such an amazing privilege. i feel peak gratitude when i look around my home and see my friends laughing, getting along, and eating food i made. i think it might be my favorite thing.

SAME OLD BENGALS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 SAME OLD BENGALS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

i cannot tell if CJ Stroud is good at football. and when you ask someone, they cant tell you either. "shows flashes of greatness, but overall inconsistent" "mediocre production, but definitely has potential" "he had a great rookie season!" OK BUT IS HE GOOD?? nobody will give you a firm answer.

my tattoo artist posted a collage of her work and one of them was mine

can you believe this

"theyre nicer to me on the nazi app" is a wild statement

literally me after three semesters of japanese

whenever i see fans at football games wearing jerseys for teams that are not playing, it makes me think of this image

60 minutes CECOT segment. Recorded through my browser. HD quality. Not phone. Spread it around. If you're press, it's yours. Go nuts. It's streaming on a Canadian website, but there is no telling for how long. www.filemail.com/d/wkcdttnacp...

what do you mean your lamp needs a firmware update??? oh your matter-based threads are broken because your mesh unsynchronized with your border router so your hub can't talk to your bridge???? GOT IT, YEA THAT MAKES SENSE. SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME JUST KIDDING WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????

i love special teams. like way more than anyone i know. more than you're supposed to. ask me my favorite long snapper! ask me about the highlight punts this week! who's the best upback???

the seahawks and rams game last night was one of the most unbelievable sporting events i've ever witnessed and i need someone to talk about it with

i hate football!! wait, you thought i liked it? you actually believed me?? when i cried 4 times this season, that was a joke!! i don't care!! the performance of the Cincinnati Bengals has no impact on my mental health

i bet it's fun to be this stupid. like imagine if ur brain worked in this way. you'd be so unbothered.

Unimpressive bigots should be told they’re unimpressive bigots as often as possible

my new favorite joke is using Apple's terrible suggested replies in text conversations. i cant stop sending my wife, "Haha, I see!" or "Thank you for understanding." in contexts where it doesn't make sense. my wife does not care for this bit.

pretty much the only thing I know about ivory towers is that they've got chairs

i want a Jaguars and Bears super bowl so bad

i came up with dozens of guesses for what could be in that cake while watching this video. none of them were even close

i love using whiteboards. theres something about em, man. when we're working through a problem that reaches a point where someone has to say "let me grab a whiteboard" i get visibly giddy.

someone sent me a 3 paragraph question over teams, and right when i was about to answer, they deleted it. cmon man, at that point the question belongs to me. it's my question. how dare you rob me of the opportunity to demonstrate my communication skills, knowledge, and understanding?

You can love someone you love even if you don't love yourself🏳️‍⚧️ But if you love yourself, you can love both yourself and the person you love. Your love becomes twofold. So take care of yourself. Your soul is beautiful.

people who think tattoos feel good creep me tf out

i made a instagram account for the first time since high school and i immediately regret it. that app sucks tremendously

good god yoshi sucks. super hot though! man belongs on a runway, not a football field

me all week

i believe i could understand any concept if Steve Kornacki rolled up his sleeves and got in front of a touchscreen to explain it to me

Fellow bitter southerners, North Carolina, Kentucky, and Virginia all elected Democratic Governors. Georgia in 2020 wasn’t a fluke. South Carolina, Florida, Texas, All y’all of the y’allternative persuasion. Keep being loud. Keep getting into good trouble. Protect black folks and trans people. Vote

thursdays are better than mondays. so why does monday night football feel more special than thursday night football

i don't understand why there are so many bad tattoos out there. excellent tattoos are really not that much more expensive than crappy ones

you gotta be sick if you live and die by the professional or academic approval of your peers

I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice. This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.

Madison seems like a fun city to grow up in, but i bet trick or treating sucks. everyone here is 26 and childless