Our deepest condolences to everyone in the democratic party who didnt get a chance to suck Lindsey Graham’s penis while he was alive. He would have loved that. And in his passing, the American taxpayer, languishing in austerity, is paying you to do so now, apparently.

TV show where a veteran detective and single father plays a harrowing game of cat and mouse when a suspect from a cold case re-emerges that may be connected to the murder of his wife, but he is gay.

Everything keeps getting worse. The Odyssey commemorative popcorn bucket isnt even fuckable.

Do you know why Wednesday is called Hump Day?

Sometimes a stranger’s smile is all it takes to remind you the rope you purchased is not strong enough to hold your own bodyweight.

Here is a cool poster a friend made for this month’s government-sanctioned yard time.

Mr Evrart is helping me find my gun

LP2 is underway.

I am crushed by permutations of the same infinite possibilities

I’ve been running the numbers and they’re all tired.

I need someone to summarize and explain why the videos are funny.

This month’s gov’t mandated leisure time

@shitrock.bsky.social was a bucket list experience

Thank YOU @goblinocracy.bsky.social we will continue shouting into the void until Turnstile improves www.vice.com/en/article/4...

the most effective method of disposal so it seems is to let them climb mountains and build their submarines

Hell yeah

Thank you for your patience while we search every bathroom for handgun bullets.

I dont know what the secret to happiness is, but Ive never been sad in a Mexican restaurant.

I dont have enough poetry in my diet

Been a good month for farting into the void. Next stop: Pound Town.

Sorry I missed your call. Ive been battling horrors unimaginable and learning via cryptic, posthumous clues the nuances as to how the hubris of man has allowed such incongruous folly to befall a once great civilization.

who will claim the floating man

Yes I have been working out. At the library. The booknasium. The gym of the mind.

Turn that brown upside down

Most relaxing walk of shame would be asking the massage therapist to dinner at the end of the session. Should have bought ME dinner before all THAT.

It can be easy to get bent out of shape, but it makes it hard to fit through doors.

I slept in and all I got was a kink in my shoulder, an innocuous sense of time dilation, and the lingering dream dialogue “I dont like synths before a ninja fight.”

Sweetwater sticker hijinks endgame

What if Netflix and/or Disney bought EVERY restaurant and made them serve all of the same food, but no living human being gets to decide what menu items from each remain available. And you can only have it delivered. That would be wonderful.

Happy 30th Anniversary to “Long Hair in Three Stages” by U.S. Maple

Call your local representative and DEMAND the butthole surfers documentary have a full release so you can too.

Daddy’s Little Consumer

The largest toilet manufacturers around these parts are American Standard and Bemis. I dont know which is funnier.

Id like to thank everyone who came to the tape release/benefit show. We raised a quarter of a million dollars for the NYT so they can write more op-eds about why infanticide is good for your mortgage.

Had fun playing some songs over at the radio station

#RedPlanet next up it’s @assistedliving.bsky.social #SpiritComb + new compilation tape out now on @strangemono.bsky.social + #NP WSUM 91.7fm Madison WSUM.org strangemono.bandcamp.com/track/spirit...

“Indirect Satisfaction” tape release and benefit show to try and raise some more money along with tape sales. The liberation of indigenous peoples all over the world is our collective liberation as human beings.

Bandcamp “New & Notable.” A couple new songs with some rad bands for this charity comp from Strange Mono. All proceeds are being donated to www.Baitulmaal.org

Driving to work today I saw a sign at @arbys-roast-beef.bsky.social that the Loaded Italian is back. He is on the loose. Be safe out there. Its not over. Lock your doors.

We’re building a brand here. Something to the tune of sucking on raw gypsum until it forms a malleable, uniform paste that can be spackled into the smile lines of every network news anchor and social media influencer.

Don’t give up, skeleton!

The time you save shopping online is time you’ll never get back.

The show details are LEGIBLE on your flyer!? OK, Boomer..

We need more cops. If we had enough cops we could use the cops as housing. People could live inside of the cops. Imagine whole buildings made of cops. Everyone would be safe.

Can anyone help me offload some diabetic test strips?

I learned recently that the average man over 30 has microplastics in their testicles equivalent to the mass of a credit card. Tap-to-pay has quite the future. Point-of-sale convenience is one of my biggest turn ons.

a phrase we should maybe meditate on some, and I do mean "meditate," like as a private effort, not talk about it or argue about its truth value, not respond in thread, just meditate, but like once a day, is Walter Benjamin's "fascism is the introduction of aesthetics into political life"

All of the institutional corruption doesnt surprise me; I can even get behind not one, but TWO Disturbed posters, but the least believable part of The Wire is that Nick likes GBV and Bellini.