so exhausted from work i just wanna go home and sleep

ate too much but hopefully still under maintenance 🤞🤞🤞🤞

I need to weigh myself again but I'm so fucking scared of what it'll say

I need to take a shower but I'm just so tired all I wanna do is lay down

idk if I need coffee and a cigarette or if I need a laxative. decisions decisions

Gained a lb overnight I'm so cooked and puffy I have to lock in

how it feels to uncontrollably binge eat knowing I gotta starve for the rest of the week due to it

I hate seeing someone I think would be a cool mutual and then I open their profile and they're like 5 years old

I feel like I'm so full of fluid I can't tell what's fat and what's water

am i really that useless? back at my sw. everything i do relating to wl feels absolutely pointless bc im always back at square one

God it doesn't matter if I eat 500 or 5000 calories I'm always gonna be stuck between 120-125lb I just need to start working out and going on runs again but it's too fucking hot out

brooogogdhbv I gotta get myself under control and stop binging until I look fucking pregnant

sweets sweets sweets sweets sweets raaaagghhhghhfhg

I just need to lose like 10 or 15 lbs and then i'll look better :(

Sometimes I look at my old bc's from when I was like 14 and get so mad and jealous. I can't stop comparing myself to how skinny I was as a child what the fuck is wrong with me

Binging todayyyyyy ragghhhh

changed the batteries in my scale and the number finally went down 😛

HOW DOES THE NUMBER JUST KEEP CLIMBING THIS CANNOT BE POSSIBLE 😭😭😭😭

I'm so scared to get on the scale

gotta restock my ed foods and not get caught by my bf ts is gonna feel like mission impossible

Ugh I forgot about the period of time when setting back into heavy restriction that you somehow defy the laws of physics and gain weight. Fml

why does being self destructive have to be so addictive in itself, like I don't even need to throw in substances. 0 calorie alcohol would be appreciated though

quitting my job to focus on my alcoholism

who knew bmi 21.8 would look this big 😔

Trying out a new calorie counting app lets see how this goes

tfw the binge eating disorder makes you binge eat

Low-key I miss being active on here

Why can't I stop fucking eatingggggg 😡😡😡😡😡

binge restrict binge restrict binge restrict how am I so skinny yet so fat

Boyfriend pissed me off so bad I lost like 5lbs love a good relapse

ugh im starting to get grossed out when looking at myself and mid-chewing again. foods starting to just look like numbers. relapse number got knows what i see it on the horizon

trying to keep myself together but the constant binging is gonna be the end of my digestive tract i gotta go back to restricting im huge

binging makes you gain weight who knew isnt that like fucked up this shouldnt be allowed 😔

i swear all i do is switch between binge eating and starving and then binge eating and starving. think im getting better but nope im just binge eating

im so fat i let myself go i have to be put down

lowkey i think watching botched as much as i have been is helping my own self image. not like in the wow they look weird way but humans come in all shapes and its ok way

sometimes i wonder if i really should get any skinnier since i already have such a childlike build as a grown adult. its gross to look at myself.

im convinced that my bf wants me to gain weight solely for the purpose of being heavier and its lowkey driving me insane

i genuinely think i ignore my food sensitivities as a way of self harming

vanity sizing is actually driving me insane because i know im gaining weight im not getting smaller but size small just keeps getting bigger ???

maybe its okay that ill be fat forever

update my navel was pierced wrong (surface level instead of how its supposed to be so it was like trying to escape) had to take it out and can try again in like 6 months 😔 life is horrible

lets play todays game of: is my ed in remission rn or am i just binging

guess who's fat again!!

my navel has an irritation bump is it cause im too fat is that why this stupid thing wont heal 😭😡

how did i look so skinny minny yesterday but now im a beluga whale in a human suit

binging today bc self control is for nerds, building up fat stores for the possible tornado tomorrow i guess

I don't understand why the American government is trying so hard to be fascist... just let me be a freaky boy

i miss sh-ing so bad but like ive been clean for 6 years, theres nowhere on my body i can hide it, and its just straight fucking lame. but boy do i miss it

chat how tf are you supposed to make friends as an adult