New life plan: isolate and minimize contact to what’s absolutely essential to survive. Literally might throw my phone in the lake and get a new number so nobody can contact me even if they want to.

Heyooooo a bitch got her graduate appointment upped to 50% FTE!!! We love stable income!!

“I heard that Zohran Mamdani is going to implement Shania law and force men to get transgender surgery in the recently closed Claire’s. Man? I feel like a woman.” -me after I hit the pen for the 10th time in 5 mins

I let the limoncello drive the evening and downloaded Grindr. Choices.

“Yeah I’ve got a double date tonight” The double date in question:

Driving in Chicago in the rain is such an experience. How many lanes is this road? However many you think there should be. Is this a turn lane or opposing traffic? Who knows. All you need to know is don’t hit anyone or anything

When you hand your card to the cashier and it is coated in lube from wearing rubber the night before lol

Why do Chicago drivers INSIST on using their high beams 24/7

Hey mutuals, I’ve outgrown my ODU onesies. They’re all smalls and I really need a medium these days I feel stupid selling them so if we are friends and you want a onesie that I’m gonna replace, lemme know and I can give/ship them to you

Another day another change in the Sky Club vape room

Yo if you’re the snake furry I met at MIR that’s building his own 3D printed chainmail-esque scale suit thing please respond so I can follow your progress I’m not sexually into this but I love cool shit so I need to follow

When dad is at work and I finish my exam early #abdl

awaiting programming 😵‍💫😵‍💫 #MIR29 @mirubber.bsky.social

real

Getting grabbed by the antlers melts my brain 🫠 🔝: @pupespy.bsky.social

Starting off #BDF strong this week. I swear this was dry when I went to sleep 😵‍💫

Warming up to improve my butthole saving throws 🔝: @pupespy.bsky.social

@puppskyler.dog I got bad news bud. She ain’t there

How I feel going through my life while trying to fail upward into a PhD program

The 2025 chicago marathon winner ran 26.2 miles in 2 hours 2 mins in Chicago. That is an impressive feat in a car let alone on foot.

Absolutely love that Chicagoans are chasing ICE around the city not the other way around lmao There’s not gonna be a single pane of glass left in an ICE vehicle by the end of next week at this point lol

When class cancels you know what that means Big edible and big pamp night

I swear to fucking god if Apple doesn’t stop showing me Illinois Policy Institute articles lacking a basic understanding of monetary and fiscal policy I’m gonna get a fucking PhD just so whenever anyone references one of their articles I can literally say “no I know more than them and can prove it”

I really need to start organizing cuddle buddies for Wednesday nights I have to be on campus from 9a-9p and by the end of it I just want someone to be little spoon and let me squeeze hard

Taking @bondagelondon.bsky.social for a spin 🙃

New thing.

dadbear caught me getting frisky with my stuffies during sunday morning cartoons. 😩 he decided to remind me that big kid sex is 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 off the table for locked little puppies like me. bark. whimper. moan. hump. bark. whimper. moan. hump. ..stickies didn't take long. 😵‍💫

I could conquer the fucking world if I got 20 mins of cuddles in the middle of the day after lunch A bitch loads up on carbs and then wants to pass out before the afternoon adderall arrives

“If diapers aren’t involved, I’m not interested” - @dipdiphooray.bsky.social

I met with him yesterday for coffee and we just chatted for 1.5 hours and he agreed to write me a letter of rec for the program 👉😎👉

My job is beach

I was talking to my faculty advisor about getting into the PhD program and I mentioned I was gonna ask a specific professor for a letter of rec because I’ve had class with him 4 times over the years and he said “oh you should do that. He’s the chair of the PhD admissions committee” Well ok

Update they called me again

How long does it take to see a spinal surgeon in Chicago? So long you’ll finish that bottle of Malört on your shelf

Never in my life did I expect that getting bad news would feel so good. Good news: I got my MRI results and we know what’s wrong with me Bad news: it’s going to involve very intensive treatment But I’m hopeful for once that we have figured out what’s wrong with me

Um so it turns out I’m sicker than we thought but the positive news is that I have no reflexes, including my gag reflex. I can now offer the best throat fucking game in town, gentledogs

I celebrated Pride weekend by tying up, teasing, and breeding @pupespy.bsky.social. Now that’s something to be proud about 🪢💦

Almost 600 days locked🔒.. What’s one to do with ?? @rubberdogaros.bsky.social His Sir allowed this😈🐾

Watching da airplanes!

I swear to fucking god I may be the only person to be in an abusive relationship with the US Census Bureau

My job is beach

“I have to come up with a fursona, temporarily” -My friend Nathan rn

Can someone please explain how it is 2025 and people still don’t know how to get on and off the damn plane

Dear Allstate Insurance: I’m not very likely to buy your insurance, but I’m especially unlikely to buy it if you call me repeatedly right as I’m about to cum scrolling through Bluesky. Sincerely, Espy

Please tell me that the owners of Taco, cat resident of Halsted N of Roscoe, are on here and can tell me that he’s allowed to wander the streets of Lakeview freely so I stop worrying about him when I see him. I want to return him home but neighbors keep telling me he’s allowed to roam free so I dont

The puppy photos in question

Guess which puppy just got a job offer (and this one can’t be sabotaged by Donald) !!!!

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 & 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 Silicone ICO With Visor is live: furrjoi.com/mask/230 FOLLOW and RT this post to win an ICO Headgear with visor! One lucky winner! Giveaway ends date: May 29 Good luck!! #silicone #furrjoi

When you successfully breed a puppy for the first time in like 8 months 🥰