Why must they keep threatening us with a good time?

No wonder I'm feeling so arch at nights.

Mamdanj is going to implement Shirred Eggs law. Everyone will have to have their eggs baked until the whites are set and the yolks are runny, and then served in a ramekin.

CRITICAL SUCCESS

Lolth, Demon Queen of Spiders has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo

A movie you've seen more than 7 times with a GIF.

@professorbigfoot.bsky.social - respect from a Balloon Juice lurker!

@kevinmkruse.bsky.social - not sure if this is you

Doing his b̶e̶s̶t̶ worst Sans fight imitation. (Sans - heck, Papyrus would make a better Speaker. Flowey would be on par.)

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.

It's the Adventure of Pete and Peat! Starting Pete, Pete's brother Peat, and Anthracite (Peat's girlfriend).

Nineteen Eighty-Farfalle

This would be the New Edinburgh level.

Kenneth Leland Morgan.

"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults—Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers, and personal growth over ten seasons.

"The Epstein Ballroom" does trip off the tongue nicely...still, we shouldn't call it the Epstein Ballroom. Epstein Ballroom. Sorry, it slipped out. My bad.

"How do we get back the men we lost to Trump, Andrew Tate, and the Proud Boys?" Please do not bring those weird ****ers over here. We have kids over here. I will call Child Services.

I love a good analogy.

Now I'm imagining Kikkoman-San (the soy sauce version of the Kool-Aid man) bursting through a wall shouting "YA-TAAAAA" like Hiro Nakamura in Heroes.

It's a tankless job.

so we're going to Game 4 then

Someone really likes his skritches.

To everyone who says, "But this won't matter": *MAKE IT MATTER.* You have that power! This is not inside baseball and your friends and neighbors will likely be appalled. And if they're *not* appalled, don't be cynical yourself. Take the lead, give the cue.

"Permit was not pulled"

So if you're planning on making a crappy 10 second uncanny valley video of fat Americans breaking through glass bridges, do it now!* *actually I'd rather you didn't

At which point we all win!

If I can get through the pop music round in bar trivia, I have a decent shot of winning. Fortunately, there were a fair number of oldies this time around.

Well that explains why I've found it impossible to take Copilot off my work computer. 🌷🫧 🧭⬇️🌊🫧 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇵🇦🧤🫧, anyone?

People are referencing 31 US Code §5114(b) as forbidding the depiction of living people on the upcoming Semiquincentennial dollar coins; however it refers to paper money and bonds. In actuality, 31 USC 5114(aa) covers the reverse (tails) of those coins, and 5114(w) covers the obverse (heads).

If the current regime doesn't go TACO* and has ICE at the Super Bowl, I wonder if the "Battle of Santa Clara" will show up in future textbooks. *"Trump Always Chickens Out" - some members of the investment class a few months ago wishcasting that the tariffs wouldn't happen.

Streep's "This could have been a Zoom meeting" monologue was fantastic.

A Jaunty little fellow!

Today's weird dream - I was invited to a job interview, but it turned out it was actually a figure drawing class. I wasn't embarrassed by the nudity, but I was embarrassed by not being able to draw well.

(borrowed from USA's Night Flight and Dynaforce. Q: What's green and sings? A: A pinecone with a transistor radio stuck in it.

rrrrrrrr

The Jets pulled it off in the end, just like this guy!

Well this is a hell of a thing (from the creator of The Owl House).

tired: oligarchs wired: cashinomas

I'd put Disney Plus on hold for a couple of months because I was too busy to watch it. Turns out I've got a lot more to do than I thought.

"Estivate" should be a portmanteau of "estimate" and "renovate". "Our estivate for the kitchen is $60K, assuming we go with the Viking fridge and not the GE Profile."

Oops, All Cishet!

Well that explains why they used an AI puppet of him to put out a statement after the shooting in Utah.

Yeah, I don't recall anyone trying to summon up El Rushbo's soul Odysseus -style with a trench full of milk, blood, and Oxycontin.

You'll never know when mindfulness will come in handy.

So we're heading towards "good, cheap, fast - pick 0.7".

Tired: midichlorians Wired: the shmemdoplastic shmecticulum

F. Murray Abraham, best known as "The Leaf" in a series of Fruit of the Loom underwear commercials from the 1970s.

NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE

Post a meme made by you.

12:20 AM and someone launched fireworks; that was enough for me to check social media. #thecrappening