Commission for @curran12.bsky.social of adventuring girls downtime at the hot springs~( ¯꒳¯ ) Had to do some Manga-censoring there, too much fun timez💦 Thank you very much~!💛 #commission

About time for another therapy journal, I think.

New therapy journal to combine the last two weeks of work. And it is a doozy of work for me this time. Something in these sessions is beginning to get through to me, and it is coming as a bit of a shock to me. My therapist regularly tells me know how shocked she is at how poorly I treat myself.

Suppose it is time for another therapy journal. This last session hit harder than I had expected. And I expected it to hit since I had a week off for the holiday so I am a bit discombobulated. We hit on two big revelations that I am still struggling to fully process and live with.

Commission for @curran12.bsky.social of Elise doing the famous dead-noodle-ferret while her boyfriend is beyond stressed up (°ロ°); Thank you very much~!💛 #commission

Got the change to design a cute Mouse Girl for @curran12.bsky.social‬. Her name is Sierra and she has anxiety!! #ArtsOfNighto💀

Been a bit, so I think it is time to do another therapy journal. The past sessions have had two very big things to try to break down: how well I communicate my emotions and the serious level of self loathing I have, and how it has affected me, as well as starting to develop work to address both.

Figure it is time for a new therapy journal. It was a very tumultuous month for my mental health, and I've been doing my best to recover my stability. So the past few sessions have not really been about progress, but re balancing myself and getting a deeper sense of emotional security back.

I am a God damn idiot

Therapy journal. The session this week continued into issues of self worth, and why I persist in situations that are harmful to my mental health, like toxic relationships.

Missed last week, but this week's therapy journal is now: Continued to explore my behaviors and attitudes towards my happiness. Really hitting into the fact that I massively struggle with two things. The first is acknowledging when I need something. The second is a deep pit of poor self-worth.

Therapy journal update. My last session was an insightful conversation about, unusually, my mindset and habits towards resting. I do like my downtime and I always tried to encourage and incorporate rest into my routines, but I am beginning to realize that I was not really "resting" (cont).

All commissions for dear @curran12.bsky.social 💗✨

All commissions for dear @curran12.bsky.social 2.bsky.social 💗✨

All commissions for dear @curran12.bsky.social 💗✨

New therapy journal entry. This week's session explored into how my upbringing brought me into a guilt complex when it comes to happiness. Realizing that a lot of my bad thought processes and habits were not a result of directly being told I was wrong, but by learning what was "right" (cont)

It's been a bit since I did a therapy update, and yesterday was a bit of an impact for me. One of my biggest problems that I've been wrestling with is the idea of a guilty conscience. That due to my fortune, I should not be happy, especially in difficult times. Basically, that my happiness (cont)

Unbelievably flattered by this, thank you again so much!

Hard work at therapy today. I was introduced to the concept of "toxic shame", which on reflection, feels like it has been a dominant part of my life for some time. Tackling it is going to be major trial, since it has been so long-lived and prevalent, but at least it has something I can name now.

I refuse to let the next 4 years ruin the time I have here. I will have joy. I will laugh. I will rest. I will dance. I will sing. I will spend time with folks I love. I will find ways I can help my community. I will find the beauty. I will hold on to peace. I will live. I will have joy.

Also this week's therapy update. Got the therapist to cry while asking me why I am not crying as I talked about myself. That's a weight and a half.

This may be old of me to say, but why did nobody tell me about how nice epsom salt in a bath was?

Back on the therapy road. New session today with some revelations. I was always worried about being overbearing on others when they would do things for me, not realizing the problem was that I would express interest due to my 'masking' to fit what I thought was expected of me

#commission for @curran12.bsky.social Elise giving some xenos the Emperor's Peace⚔️ #ArtsOfNighto💀

If you see this, post an image you saved cause it made you laugh. (featuring @headofnights.bsky.social )

Preparing for a new year. Had a mental break and I am still picking up the pieces. Before my new years goals would always just be "endure" but I want to do more. I want to write again more seriously. I want to actually fix my root mental issues, not just patch them. I hope I can meet those goals

🥂When that rompope hits on New Year's Eve.🍾 Last post of the year, hope next one is nice to everyone!!🎇 #oc #ArtsOfNighto💀

Thank you everyone for 20k on my new social media home, Bluesky! I will be raffling out drawing requests to 5 winners on the first of the new year! Let's start this off on a positive note.

some comms i made last month

Commission for an anonymous commissioner Thanks a lot for commissioning me!

Beginning Christmas travel day. Will be nice to see the family but God i hate airports and flying

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad I got sunshine in a bag I'm Eustace

Elise in black🖤🎀 #commission for @curran12.bsky.social! #ArtsOfNighto💀

Therapy day 2

First return to therapy. Hit way harder than I expected it to, but in a good way I think. "I could tell right away you were a real sad person" and I felt very seen for once.

Restarting therapy today. Definitely needed, but still not a pleasant thing.

Solo thanksgiving dinner

"i hope this site doesn't end up like the last one :(" Hope has nothing to do with it--DO YOUR PART! Twitter & Truth Social are dying. Their users are used to farming outrage for engagement. Don't give them any! 🚫 Don't argue with them! 🚫 Don't quote them! ✅ #BlockAndMoveOn

When real Twitter was still alive, I appreciated being verified. None of that matters any more. Now I appreciate simply starting over with decent humans. Thank you, friends, for proving that there is still some good left in this world.

Made some new Public posts on Substar and Patreon! #ArtsOfNighto💀 subscribestar.adult/yorutama www.patreon.com/c/nighthead

🍄A Very Zwei's 1k Follower BlueSky Art Giveaway!!🍄 Thank you so much everyone for your support!! Get your chance to win a character art!! To Participate: ☑️ Follow me, 🔄 Repost this post! ✅ SFW/NSFW ✅ OC/Public Character ✅ Furry/Anthro ✅ Gamedev/Indie Game promo art 🕰️ Ends on November 17th!

If like me you have the "Sexually suggestive (Cartoon)" hiding stuff even tho you have all the adult content enabled, just know that you can turn it off by going on the moderation's account, which is a weird way to do it but ok

Hey new Bluesky users: this website has no centralized algorithm. If you think it seems dead in here, it's absolutely not. However, you are going to have to follow more people than you did on Twitter to see a lot of action in your Home feed.

But whatever happens tonight or tomorrow, I’m determined to live my life and be happy and accept things as much as I’m able. Life will go on, whoever you wanted to win. It hurts, it’s frustrating, but you just gotta keep on keeping on 💜

twinning.mp4

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #801,473!