Thomas Massie tonight says DOJ is citing laws that don’t apply to hide key parts of the Epstein files: “They’re still trying to protect billionaires, politically connected people, and trying to obscure the involvement of our own intelligence agencies.”

Why do we care so much about what everyone looks like when we all end up looking the exact same once we're over 80 years old anyway. Short white hair, frail, lived a damn life. Be glad to be alive and stfu about everyone else.

This country loves to create veterans but hates to take care of them.

1.5 hrs before I am off work and the servers go down. Not my problem biiiitchesss.

You know that's on purpose in southern Louisiana.

I'm doing to research into ethical plantation tours as I'm planning another trip to NOLA and one thing I'm having a hard time with? Gift shops. Plantation GIFT SHOPS.

Did he murder any civilians in Venezuela? Appears he's the criminal now (again?).

Epinephrine, I like to say E-pine-eph-rine out loud to annoy my coworkers. I also like scopolamine. (Obviously I work in pharmacy lol)

I like to spend the last 15 minutes of my shift "on the toilet" (aka the chair in the locker room.) I have to rest before I go home to rest, of course.

Listen. Literally NOBODY is saying the guy was a great person, let alone president, but they're greatly missing they're entire fucking point ON PURPOSE.

Please stop showing me tiktok bra reviews with implants unless you plan on contributing to buying me some.

He's saying "law enforcement" to side step using the words "unlawful military action"

This is on the idiots who thought it was a good idea to put a sociopath in office. Also, fuck ALL of the GOP.

I thought he stopped wars, not started them?

Got this as an ad, so of course I had to look it up. YOU PLAY GAMES WITH YOUR VAG! I WANT IT.

Woo wee I was pretty scared there for a minute but I'm still here. Apparently this was posted by some sort of crank or charlatan. Who would have thought that would happen?

It's 16f degrees outside and I cannot wait to go home, open my bedroom window, and pass the fuck out under my heated blanket until 7pm.

sometimes I’ll make a joke to my wife and she’ll roll her eyes and ask if I’m “gonna post that one on bluesky.” I mean, yes, but her tone is very hurtful

Strange takes on Mayor Zamdani swearing his oath on the Qu’ran. It has nothing to do with church & state. The point of the oath is for the person swearing in to do so upon some text that is sacred TO THEM. Some Presidents swore in w/o any book. John Quincy Adams was sworn on a law book. His choice.

I just keep lol-ing at all of this stupid shit our president does and nobody can fucking stop him. It's absurd and scary.

I thought it was a hoax.

Posted this on snap yesterday just to annoy teenagers 🤣 I got a simple: MOM. reply. SUCCESS.

Husband: I need a new zip up hoodie. Me: *let's him browse knowing full well I already ordered one* H: hmmm I don't like any of these M: that's good bc you have one on the way H: when? M: let me check... *types AEW....* H: WHAT DID YOU SAY M: oh, did i forget to mention... H: UMMM YES YOU DID M: 🤭

Leave it to me to get the wildest side effects from a medicine that I really used to love.

Thanks, Shakira. I'm gay now.

Cue "Anniversary" by Tony, Toni, Toné. 🎶IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY 🎶

PASS INTERFERENCE WTF

Someone should do a skit with an out-of-town guest about the Chiefs news today. Interviewer: "Did you hear the Chiefs are building a new stadium?" Guest: "Where are they moving to?" Interviewer: "Kansas City" Guest: "Where did they play previously?" Interviewer: "Kansas City"

Just when you think you're finally prepared for Christmas you get hit with the "your packages are delayed" emails.

When your 70 year old bestie says "hey, Christina, I got these for us!" And hands you a bag of fresh samosas 😭

Yoooooo I'm pretty sure Trey Songz (doppelganger) just delivered our med order.

Casual reminder that the myth of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a cruel hoax designed to convince poor people from all walks of life that the injustices they face are a result of their own actions, rather than an oppressive system rigged against them.

How much do i want to stay away from people? This much.

My job is pretty ok.

Nothing like having to pause your podcast while getting a grocery pickup, because, well, Small Town Murder 🤣

Just ordered 2 of those viral snatching bodysuits from tiktok so you all can expect a fashion show. Maybe.

I promise you that I have never once thought this. Because why? Who cares lol

Uncontrolled t2 diabetes in full kidney failure requiring dialysis at 35. This is the American Healthcare system at work in mid Michigan.

It's really fucking weird that at 43 years old I'm finally experiencing what it's like to be *liked* by people in my world that I'm not fucking. Genuinely liked. Wtf is this shit.

grown adults in charge of people's lives frequently sounding like when ur in 2nd grade and a classmate w diabetes has to go to the nurse to get a snack and another one of ur classmates is like "um. how come *I* don't get to go to the nurse to get a snack 🤨" except it's like. 50 yr old men.

I signed up for Secret Santa at work and got.... Chapstick and a pair of socks. My person is going to win the SS lottery.

Question for men: Besides sex (bc duh) what would you want for your anniversary?

Apparently no one is going to stop trumps looting of famous presidents memorials & renaming them for himself. He wants his name on everything. I guess for him it proves he’s the greatest man in American history as he steals & loots this country & its people to make himself appear rich & famous.

What I'm seeing is that if my kid makes it big, I'm still going to travel games in their 20s!!??

A $60 audiobook? No.

This tuxedo brat keeps getting closer.