i'm retweeting this bc bluesky doesn't have bookmarks and I wanted to save this bc I enjoy some of the insights into different views on male fashion

Ngl on hour 14 of a shift my sentences start to get a lil disjointed

I actually met my partner on Bumble. Yeah, I swiped on them on Tinder. We matched on Hily. They swooped me. I saw them on Sizzle. They Binked me. Our first date was on Rumpty,

feels like this was the music they should've used to announce him

I wish smoking weren't horrible for you and didn't make you stinky. It'd be sooooo fun without all the downsides

For sale: baby vape pen, never ripped

Reddit really wants me to up my wank game I guess

lmaooo

88. He should've been in the club 😔

Hanging this like an IV and mainlining Barq's root beer into my veins

every day without a Pope is another knife shoved directly into my skull . this is kony 2012 all over again

Super excited to finally hang out with my good buddy Pope Francis. His job keeps him busy but he made some time for me and we're gonna play Mario Cart and Smash Bros like the good old days Now to take a big swig of my coffee and check the news

on my hedgehog type shit

It will continue to fry my brain that the app I once used to meet other gay people in NYC and make jokes on is now a state actor pumping out propaganda for a government that’s kidnapping people

Oscar Wilde ass post

eavesdropping on this dudes conversation about how he "allegedly ran a red light" even though he was "being super careful" and totaled his tesla even though it actually wasn't even his fault he's also a real estate agent

If I could backflip I'd do it all the time, you wouldn't be able to stop me. Make a joke? Backflip. Need to emphasize a point? Backflip. I'd be a menace!

Doing an April Fools day prank on God tomorrow by continuing to carry on in the face of the Horrors (minor problems)

These are my daily affirmations

Having an NA beer. One of the many great savory beverages life has to offer.

A chill thing to say when you see a new partner naked for the first time is "just as I suspected"

Bro kinda had that shit on

List of life's great joys: 1) company of loved ones 2) pissing/ shitting on the clock 3) beautiful sunset over mountains 4) juice, other beverages

Logged on to reddit and immediately had a promoted post tell me I'm breedable

Can I still be unhinged on here or is that more of an "X dot com" thing

at a coffeeshop listening to a barista tell the cook straight misinformation about the elevations of local mountains

this little fucker was always up to no good

Hiring wedding photographers is OUT. Hiring wedding portrait painters is IN!

When coffee is decaffeinated it's like. Oh okay. I didn't realize we lived in HITLER'S GERMANY. But it's fine!

Waking up on a cold day and leaving a cozy bed to go to work ranked #1 on list of Horrors

Checked my old twitter and saw this dude advising that unemployed people simply get into industrial manufacturing

Adds weight/drag to the ride, making it harder. But you can parachute/hanglide on downhills, so imo it's more fun

the "brain" is a fake organ invented by neurologists to sell more neurology

Couples who Scheme together, Stay together ❤️

Benito mussolini was invaluable in the polycule bc he made the trains cum on time

My impression of a straight dude at an orgy: oh, no cock for me, thanks - pussy's fine

Just won a game with a fun little tactic. White to play and gain a decisive advantage #chess #puzzle

Asking me to download an "app" is morally the same as shooting me in the face with a gun

🙄 my scheming eunuch was right about you

Went for a long walk in the park today, it was beautiful out. Becoming like a mentally ill man in the 19th century who must go on daily Constitutionals least he suffer Wicked and Unending Terrors

Hey what's up dude, meet the crew we're rolling with tonight, it's my boy Kenny the hustler, Evil Steve, Nashville Nate -he's actually from colorado, we only call him that because of last year-, Pete's cousin, Asian Frank -yeah he's mexican- "tall dark and handsome," the Salami Slinger, and Kyle.

This is peak truck performance

my thoughts on the Chiefs getting wiped out: at the end of No Country for Old Men, Anton Chigurh, the psychopathic antagonist who was to that point less a man than a symbol of inevitability itself, is hit by another car while driving. Even fate’s avatars are not free from its whims.

I used to love posting. I used to live for it. And then a nazi bought twitter. And I was forced out of my digital homeland. An e-nomad; a cyber ronin. Forced to wander the wasteland of the world wide web. In this way I am much like Prince Ashitaka.

Further censorship from the failing new york times 🙄

Hey man, I heard you were looking for a place to stay. Low key my boy Evil Steve can hook you up

Wordle 1,329 2/6* 🟨🟨⬛🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Wait I'm goated

This is bullshit