"So, what is Tylenol, anyway?" “Oh, it's a big pretty white pill with red stripes, curtains in the window and wheels and it looks like a big airplane!”

Spot The #MisspellingMonday

Here’s mine in this week’s issue of The New Yorker

When I want to get out of doing something, I say "Why should I? It won't bring Carl Weathers back."

Why wasn’t SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME called THE AMASSING SPIDER-MEN? Just pretend I made this joke four years ago, OK?

In the 1930s, people complained that this was “too woke”

One thing is for sure, Democrats pushing for stricter gun laws is what led to this, according to someone in the GOP tomorrow, probably.

The most realistic part of "Seinfeld" is that whenever New Yorkers need to do some soul searching, they go to Santa Monica.

Oh sure, everyone loves the show DEXTER, but if I go out and kill someone it's "illegal."

Salma Hayek was born on September 2, 1966, making her exactly one day older than me. Happy birthday grandma!

Great thread, and my latest excuse to repost this image:

Of course, Trump's alive. Don't you know the dark side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural?

King Vitaman being a live action cereal mascot used to give me the same creepy vibe as the Swedish Chef having real human hands.

“I was today years old when I learned it was Barzini all along.”

This guy in BRAZIL (1985), who says "Leave it to me, computers are my specialty" and then proudly hands Sam back the exact information that he started with. Anyway, Terry Gilliam predicted AI assistants.

If George Harrison and George Costanza traded places, which is improved more, “Seinfeld” or The Beatles?

A comical and geometrical marvel from @joedator.bsky.social in the current @privateeyenews.bsky.social - at your newsstands now!

Remember that lady whose emu kept knocking over her phone? It killed her two years ago.

The missus is expecting. Is “Jersey Mike” a good name for a girl?

Watched all four seasons of The Bear. Just realized it takes place in Chicago.

Here’s a cartoon of mine from the latest ToonStack newsletter over on Substack, that’s about writing a book, and it’s also in a book that I wrote, conveniently. Thanks to ToonStack guest editor @asherperlman.bsky.social! toonstack.substack.com/p/hi-its-me-...

Down with AI art. Up with IA art!

Imagine giving a shit about golf.

I’ve provided the image for this week’s New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. Head over to newyorker.com/cartoons/contest to enter your caption, and you might win. If you enter it in the comments here with me now, you definitely won’t win.

Forget the Wilhelm Scream, why didn’t they put this in every movie?

Three people I emailed on Monday morning just replied to me within the last hour. Was there a time dilation that I missed?

It will now be called “T. J. Sex Worker”

I often remember very specific jokes. I still laugh when I recall how David Letterman would have Paul Reiser or Helen Hunt on his show and he’d refer to their sitcom as “Mad At You.”

I love that totally random scene in LIFE OF BRIAN when Brian is picked up by an alien spacecraft and taken to lunch with Mike Yanagita.

Today’s daily cartoon for @newyorker.com

People who cannot figure out how this works, I have questions: how did you get to this coffee shop? How did you navigate the streets of New York? How did you dress yourself this morning? How do you have a job?

Just got into a transporting device and there was a fly trapped in it with me, so now I am part fly. Actually, it was an elevator, so I might be fine.

Note: Chuck Mangiore’s “Rise” is not to be confused with Herb Alpert’s “Feels So Good.” No wait, I mean…

I once saw Malcom Jamal Warner in a restaurant, and I said to my friends “I thought he died.” I was confusing him with Cosby’s real life son. I should probably not have told this anecdote.

In a just world, Belzer would’ve outlived Hulk Hogan

I think this is terribly unjust. He should also lose his family and friends.

I hate revisionist dislike for a disgraced celebrity. If, say, we found out tomorrow that Steve Martin was a key figure in the Oklahoma City bombing, there would be a bunch of people saying “When was he ever funny?” It’s ok to admit that someone was good before you found out they were bad.

Another reminder that my original art sale is ongoing, with an added perk- a free signed hardcover copy of my book INKED with any purchase. Limited time only (because all of our time here on earth is limited)! joedator.bigcartel.com/products www.ebay.com/usr/joedator...

I’m old enough to remember that decades before “anti-woke” there was the equally stupid backlash against Alan Alda.

I thought these MAGA pinheads were dumb before I saw the movie. Now that I’ve seen it, wow, they’re even dumber than I thought. Literally the stupidest people on the face of the Earth.

What the hell is a “loan word”?

These are hypnotic

Just filmed my visit to the Criterion Adults Only Closet. You may have trouble seeing me behind the bead curtain.

Artists embracing AI is not “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em,” it’s “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Lie Down And Let ‘Em Kill You.”

Find someone who’ll pose on a giant “&” symbol with you.

A @newyorker.com cartoon from 2022, apropos of nothing in particular.

When I was a kid, there was a movie called SUPERMAN about a guy in a blue suit who flew around with a red cape and fought evil and stuff. Guys, this new movie is a complete and total rip off of that! They even used the same title and everything. I guess they thought nobody would remember, but I did.

I like Coldplay.

12/23/24