VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR MEEEE!

The face before you refuse to recite your resume after a woman at the gym says "I know you from somewhere."so you say"I'm here a lot."and she says"No."so you tell her where you live and she says"No" so you confess you are occasionally on TV and she says where? and you say "Hacks" and she says no...

VOTE FOR ME! I was nominated for a thing you can vote for! I explain it below and there is, as far as I know, no voter suppression at all. You, the voting public, can vote. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/what-i-wil...

I thought this guy looked familiar.I guess in this economy, everyone is lining up a second income.

I thought this guy looked familiar.I guess in this economy, everyone is lining up a second income.

To truly honor the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, I present to you the best song about drinking ever . EVER. Video by me. Words and music by Mr. Prieboy.

In properly honoring St. Patrick's Day, there is only one video truly worthy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Ti...

My dog Wally has the gift of squeaky toy prophecy. Yes. He's the one, he' the one. The one they call the seventh son. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/the-secret...

It's INTERNATIONAL Women's Day! and being an international woman, it is appropriate for me to recommend this audio book I made a few years ago with my friend, Megan Koester (@bornferal).It will tell you A LOT about how civilization has treated women since way back. www.audible.com/pd/The-Indig...

Best song of the year

For some reason, one of my dogs is very sad about this whole Kristi Noem fall from grace..

A comfort system that works. For a few minutes anyway. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/navigating...

For those keeping track, we're considering a war with Iran that would undoubtedly cost billions. Trump's attack on Venezuela and drug-boat-bombing campaign have cost billions already. Trump just promised $10 billion to the Board of Peace grift. And people can't afford health insurance.

Sorry to blow my own horn, (or to mention that I don't even own a horn) but I was ahead of this idea of TV programming for pets BY 30 PLUS YEARS! And I had better ideas for shows for them too!! merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/3-things-o...

More STUFF from me, including a few of these. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/3-things-o...

I can't explain why this amuses me but....my new hobby is talking to AI chat bots on corporate websites like I think they are a real person who is writing to me. As if there has ever been a human alive who EVER spoke or wrote like this.

Yes, yes...it's Valentine's Day. But let's keep our eyes on what is really important this time of year. SQUIRREL SEASON HAS BEGUN!

I was skeptical at first but I seriously think they are ready for a netflix special.

Super Bowl Sunday is my favorite day of the year because I can go ANYWHERE I WANT and there is NO ONE ELSE AROUND! No lines! No problems! PERFECT!

WaPost journalists learned they'd been fired in an e mail that was either titled "Your role has been eliminated by today's workforce reductions." or"Your role has not been impacted by today's workforce reductions." in case you wondered if they exercised any amt of what used to be called "humanity."

I wrote a new thing. Spoiler alert: It is pro mice. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/of-mice-an...

New candidate for the funniest thing in 2026. At least this week. It just showed up on my Google search page.

I wrote a little something about the amazing Catherine O'Hara.

I wrote a piece...i believe they call it "an appreciation"... about one of my comedy heroes: Ms.Catherine O'Hara. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

I wrote a piece...i believe they call it "an appreciation"... about one of my comedy heroes: Ms.Catherine O'Hara. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

So...um...this. youtu.be/RdACqC3z98A?...

Who better to help you through FASHION WEEKS than I? Answer: no one. Here is PART TWO: merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/more-of-th...

Sorbet between courses. Let's have a look at all the FASHION WEEKS. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/its-all-th...

In honor of Martin Luther King day, I offer this nicely written but poorly spelled homage by my nephew, written when he was 7 years old. Now in his thirties, he shall remain nameless as he would be beyond annoyed at me for continuing to post this thing.

Having put red meat back at the top of the food pyramid, RFK Jr. just decided that starting today, chocolate pudding should be considered a vitamin.

RFK Jr is about to introduce new dietary guidelines that encourage eating MORE red meat and high fat cheese. Now all that is left for him to make his healthy living plan complete is recommend that everyone hold their breath in order to take in less oxygen.

The big annual Consumer Electronics Show just opened in Las Vegas today. For your interest and amusement, here is a report I did (for some show or other....maybe for Not Necessarily The News?) on The Consumer Electronics Show in 1991 !!! youtu.be/MaxCNDJb9-Q?...

I wrote a post about how odd it is that I continue to love dogs because it makes no logical sense. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/why-do-i-l...

I wrote a post about how it is illogical that I somehow love dogs because taken on face value, it makes no sense.

Looking forward to seeing which members of the UFC will be on the half-time show at the inauguration of Barron Trump as the new president of Trumpezuela.

I still have 8 more hours to post this before it starts to grow internet fungus.

A Happy New Year contemplation from meeeee. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/2025-was-r...

I realize I'm a little slow on the uptake with this. But since it is still New Year's Day for a reasonable amount of more hours, here is my New Year's Video.

A Happy New Year contemplation from meeeee. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/2025-was-r...

Everyone should read this. It's some important thinking. www.honest-broker.com/p/the-eight-...

#Pluribus question about the finale: If intensely angry behavior can kill 11 million people, why does anyone ever need an atom bomb?

In case you were unaware of this...

Yes, it is finally Christmas. But I hope you are remembering to celebrate correctly. That is why about 15 years ago, my hubman and I collaborated on this poignant video as a seasonal reminder about what is in store if you celebrate wrong. youtu.be/dehxX-wWPxM?...

This may be the cheeriest Christmas post I have ever contributed to the hive mind.

Here is a piece I wrote a few years ago that is meant to be read aloud to dogs as they are seated in the glow of holiday related lights. It is, for dogs, a seasonal tale of HOPE AND RENEWAL. And it is about my dog Lewis. open.substack.com/pub/merrillm...

Here is a piece I wrote a few years ago that is meant to be read aloud to dogs as they are seated in the glow of holiday related lights. It is, for dogs, a seasonal tale of HOPE AND RENEWAL. And it is about my dog Lewis. open.substack.com/pub/merrillm...

Over one million years ago, when I worked on Late Night with David Letterman, I made this Christmas story from the point of view of our dog Bob. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CfI...

Another holiday wrap up from me to YOU. Yes, you. Stop looking around. I'm talking to YOU. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/a-few-more...

I made a brief appearance via zoom on the show of the immortal and legendary comic entity that is Mr. Tim Heidecker.