I have held in these feelings for far too long. I have had 16 years to adjust to them but my hatred has never died. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/sorry-but-...

Proud to have the most terse and shortest quote on record in the history of quotes from this or any other week.

I have held in these feelings for far too long. I have had 16 years to adjust to them but my hatred has never died. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/sorry-but-...

Status alert.

Happy 100th Birthday to David Attenborough, one of the best people who ever lived. And my very favorite person I have never met. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUXh...

Trump posted this AI photo last night, prob because it gave him a flat stomach.But Google reverse image search calls the woman in the bikini "Unidentified Woman," Though AI thinks maybe it is Amanda Holden,TV presenter/Host of Britain's Got Talent. Why is she there? Is Marco Rubio a contestant?

A rumination on the idea of reuniting with people from long ago. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/shouldnt-t...

Behold WH menu for King Charles"1st course:delicate garden herb velouté,silken and aromatic,finished w/ crisp toasted shallots and a whisper of micro mint for brightness and contrast."B/C if there's anything our Pres likes to offer European leaders, its a delicate veloute w/ a whisper of micro mint.

What position in the cabinet will Oz Pearlman have by noon tomorrow? My guess is Director of the FBI.

Tales of Courage: NOAH AND THE DINOSAURS. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/noah-and-t...

This CNN article laments the gas prices in Mono County, Ca, city of June Lake, which are currently $7.50 a gallon. Malibu Ca gas stations have been charging $6.75 a gallon for THE LAST THREE YEARS!! Seriously. I guess the city struck a special deal with the Ayatollah. www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/b...

This is an actual post. This is not funny. This is beyond desperate. This is a deeply unwell man who doesn’t belong anywhere near the levers of power. Every member of his cabinet and Congress is complicit in not demanding his removal now.

An EXCITING announcement for the snack loving people of Ecuador! Ecua-tizers has been announced as the tenth TIZER in the International Order of Tizers. Feliz Picoteo!!

Yesterday I was complaining about having to drive somewhere in traffic. Today I have more perspective.

Cathartic @djrothkopf.bsky.social is my fave: "A torrent of lies, untruths, misrepresentations, deceptions & distilled nuggets of crapola so vast that it may well live up to the most Trumpian of descriptive phrases: Nobody has ever seen anything like it before.” www.thedailybeast.com/this-is-the-...

As they say on the internet, "I don't know who needs to hear this" but...turns out Peacocks love bananas.

Only 2 more days to VOTE FOR MEEEEEE.

VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR MEEEE!

VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR ME! VOTE FOR MEEEE!

The face before you refuse to recite your resume after a woman at the gym says "I know you from somewhere."so you say"I'm here a lot."and she says"No."so you tell her where you live and she says"No" so you confess you are occasionally on TV and she says where? and you say "Hacks" and she says no...

VOTE FOR ME! I was nominated for a thing you can vote for! I explain it below and there is, as far as I know, no voter suppression at all. You, the voting public, can vote. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/what-i-wil...

I thought this guy looked familiar.I guess in this economy, everyone is lining up a second income.

I thought this guy looked familiar.I guess in this economy, everyone is lining up a second income.

To truly honor the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, I present to you the best song about drinking ever . EVER. Video by me. Words and music by Mr. Prieboy.

In properly honoring St. Patrick's Day, there is only one video truly worthy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Ti...

My dog Wally has the gift of squeaky toy prophecy. Yes. He's the one, he' the one. The one they call the seventh son. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/the-secret...

It's INTERNATIONAL Women's Day! and being an international woman, it is appropriate for me to recommend this audio book I made a few years ago with my friend, Megan Koester (@bornferal).It will tell you A LOT about how civilization has treated women since way back. www.audible.com/pd/The-Indig...

Best song of the year

For some reason, one of my dogs is very sad about this whole Kristi Noem fall from grace..

A comfort system that works. For a few minutes anyway. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/navigating...

For those keeping track, we're considering a war with Iran that would undoubtedly cost billions. Trump's attack on Venezuela and drug-boat-bombing campaign have cost billions already. Trump just promised $10 billion to the Board of Peace grift. And people can't afford health insurance.

Sorry to blow my own horn, (or to mention that I don't even own a horn) but I was ahead of this idea of TV programming for pets BY 30 PLUS YEARS! And I had better ideas for shows for them too!! merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/3-things-o...

More STUFF from me, including a few of these. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/3-things-o...

I can't explain why this amuses me but....my new hobby is talking to AI chat bots on corporate websites like I think they are a real person who is writing to me. As if there has ever been a human alive who EVER spoke or wrote like this.

Yes, yes...it's Valentine's Day. But let's keep our eyes on what is really important this time of year. SQUIRREL SEASON HAS BEGUN!

I was skeptical at first but I seriously think they are ready for a netflix special.

Super Bowl Sunday is my favorite day of the year because I can go ANYWHERE I WANT and there is NO ONE ELSE AROUND! No lines! No problems! PERFECT!

WaPost journalists learned they'd been fired in an e mail that was either titled "Your role has been eliminated by today's workforce reductions." or"Your role has not been impacted by today's workforce reductions." in case you wondered if they exercised any amt of what used to be called "humanity."

I wrote a new thing. Spoiler alert: It is pro mice. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/of-mice-an...

New candidate for the funniest thing in 2026. At least this week. It just showed up on my Google search page.

I wrote a little something about the amazing Catherine O'Hara.

I wrote a piece...i believe they call it "an appreciation"... about one of my comedy heroes: Ms.Catherine O'Hara. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

I wrote a piece...i believe they call it "an appreciation"... about one of my comedy heroes: Ms.Catherine O'Hara. www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

So...um...this. youtu.be/RdACqC3z98A?...

Who better to help you through FASHION WEEKS than I? Answer: no one. Here is PART TWO: merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/more-of-th...

Sorbet between courses. Let's have a look at all the FASHION WEEKS. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/its-all-th...

In honor of Martin Luther King day, I offer this nicely written but poorly spelled homage by my nephew, written when he was 7 years old. Now in his thirties, he shall remain nameless as he would be beyond annoyed at me for continuing to post this thing.

Having put red meat back at the top of the food pyramid, RFK Jr. just decided that starting today, chocolate pudding should be considered a vitamin.

RFK Jr is about to introduce new dietary guidelines that encourage eating MORE red meat and high fat cheese. Now all that is left for him to make his healthy living plan complete is recommend that everyone hold their breath in order to take in less oxygen.