I’d swear to what ever oath or demand of devotion @ravenfontaine.bsky.social requires, shots taken last month

Scientists have finally mapped a fruit fly brain, and have found it can be replicated ‘in Silico’ to receive and give commands. So that disproves the entire Matrix conspiracy, because our overlords wouldn’t allow us to be this close to their science.

I can’t get over this horizon view, goddamn.

This is the first time where I can noticeably see my weight loss. Company Christmas party attire.

LOLLL imagine being normal!

Andrew Tate got banned from Bluesky in less than one day. Another reason things are so much better here than Twitter.

Made some homemade pumpkin pies from scratch for the work potluck today, they came out SO GOOD!! It was my first time making the spice from scratch.

quick reminder for your Monday- if you see trash, SET IT ON FIRE

Brings rose to your fyp

Update: ended up not going due to my youngest daughter getting attacked by a dog. I feel so bad for her 😭 She’s doing okay now. It looked like Max Cavalera showed up last night, so I’m glad everyone got to experience that!

Nails & Xibalba tonight!

Ngl, as a long time admirer of thighs, I really see the appeal of a thigh job.

Been obsessed with this track lately & learning how to play it: open.spotify.com/track/1cn2mg...

still one of my most favorite nightsky interactions of all time

If I used a vibrator to help myself cum and it died on me, I could see the curiosity and potential appeal of a taser.

Yes, I can multitask. I’m relaxing and losing my shit at the same time.

If I was a supervisor, I would use the “-pony” suffix every chance I got. Somepony, everypony, etc. if someone asks “what did you say?,” then I would use the human term and ask “what did you think I said?” If they insist I said that, I will simply gaslight them.

It’s funny cause it’s true. I was literally 12 when Meteora first came out and had that shit on repeat through my stereo and MTV, Fuse, and VH1.

Gonna head to the doomspiral store, y’all need anything?

“Icarus, you dumb shit, stop looking at the sun!”

Ghosts in 50-100 years are gonna be wild. People are going to say “I saw a little boy flossin’ in the hallway and then he disappeared.”

My autistic ass coming across a TikTok of dogs chewing apart dry and dead wood: “I need to have that satisfying crunch in my life yesterday.”

Ever seen jet fuel go from powering airliners to melting steel beams? Check out this video from 2001, it’s wild.

Jesus was a carpenter savant with a foot fetish who died a virgin at 33. If that isn’t the most autistic thing you’ve ever heard, then you’re just lying to yourself.

The sexual tension between floor tiles and ceiling tiles. You know they wanna kiss.

I want a fighting game where I can fight as Oprah. I wouldn’t care if she was the worst character, I would master her fighting style.

The boomers took away the zoomer’s Juuls and they’ve only gotten angrier.

Be different. Beat your boyfriend into compliance with an Xbox 360 power supply.

Yoga Mat is short for Yoga Matthew.

I want to eat enough pepperoni until the acid reflux erupts from my body like a geyser.

Assert your dominance: Give ‘em a lil kiss on their forehead.

An autistic’s inner monologue whenever they go anywhere in nature: “I cannot WAIT to find cool rocks to put in my pocket!”

Do you ever notice that “party girls” are always randomly missing a whole ass toenail or something? Like okay Heather, let’s hear the story of how you were blackout drunk and you don’t remember how it happened.

Red flags can be fun facts if you just word it differently.

Instead of buying her a crystal, buy her a Glock to manifest a different kind of energy.

If his love language is touch, punch him in the fucking jaw.

I have that weird, autistic laugh/chuckle thing that never turns off unless I sense you’re mad at me, do you still find me abhorrent? 🥺

Standing at half-mast. Mentally and sexually.

telling him to aim for my mouth like budd dwyer

head game: budd dwyer’s paper bag

You ever think to yourself “maybe I shouldn’t post that?” Well, I’m giving you permission to post it. Do it.

I miss feeding my electronics delectable treats like VCR tapes and CDs. Instead, most are born without mouths and have an IV line called the internet. That’s why I will always buy physical.

Dry cereal is just dog food for girls.

Senator Dianne Feinstein has passed away at age 90. One of her aides was chewing 5gum and was standing a little too close to her.