Ow pain pain pain

I actually felt good today for the first time in so long and I may have overdone it but it was worth it

This is just to say I have given away the law commission president role to Judith Collins and which you were probably saving for someone qualified Forgive me or don’t she had to leave I’m a pushover not at all bold as I’ve been repeatedly told

Ouch. Heatpack time again

It took me 5 years to be able to openly cry in therapy. Now I can’t stop and do it in almost every session 🙈

Does chemist warehouse ever answer their phone?

What’s with this new law allowing pets in rentals? People (including my current landlord) have been telling me that I won’t find it hard to find a place with my cat cos pets have to be allowed now but I’m seeing heaps of rentals on trademe that say No Pets so… unsure?

Bravely made some phone calls I was avoiding

One of those Pyjamas > Shower > Clean pyjamas days

Thought someone had died but it’s just my flatmate screaming over concert tickets

Feeling a little better today. My heatpack is still my best friend but at least I don’t need strong pain killers (so far)

Woke up to my cat absolutely attacking my foot at 4.45 am. I had to throw a squishmallow at her because she just kept lunging

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

I am sooooo sick of my faulty body

Suffered my way through 3 days of work with a UTI (now suspected pyelonephritis) and can’t go to the doctor till Thursday due to no $$. Good times. Thank goodness for heatpack.

Fucking love my heatpack #SecretSantaAoNZ

Banana for dinner because I vomited up my lunch and have had no appetite since

Heatpack time. I’m worried I might have a UTI

Today I asked one of the doctors how they manage to work their 14 hour shifts. The answer: caffeine and methamphetamines. Reassuring

Thank you for your support last night y’all, things look better today. Sorry for my outburst

This was the first place I’ve felt safe anywhere in my whole life

My eyes have finally ceased leaking

Embarrassingly I had to tell my flatmates that I’d been crying because of a “sad book” but actually it’s cos they’re evicting me and also being quite unkind especially the one who is supposed to be my friend. I feel like they’re being mean to try and push me out faster

I’m not okay at all

I’m not doing well. Very tearful

I finally had energy today so, as per, I did too much and will pay for it tomorrow

Got a new dishwasher yay, I haven’t had a dishwasher in my life except for like 1 year flatting. Friend just got mad at me cos I didn’t know the door had to be open for the buttons to work… is this info that normal people know? Makes sense to me that it would only turn on when the door is closed?

Another day stuck in bed with my heatpack

Trying the air fryer to make toasties cos they always fall apart when I try to flip them in the frying pan

My body is giving me warning signs that I need to rest. If I don’t listen, I will crash so I am now resting

RT if you're tired

Exhausted but had a really nice weekend aside from a few small bits. I’m off to bed

Dad chronicles continued: just had to remind dad that the 1st birthday we are going to is not a drinking party

Live blogging staying at my dad’s: just had a coughing fit from second hand smoke and vomited on the lawn. The dog is having second dinner now

The drink driving lecture has begun (me lecturing my dad)

Thank you Paula for the gifts.

Is the post-crying headache a universal experience?

I got a new phone today

One of the reasons Paula died was because she didn’t have anywhere to live

I can’t breathe and I can’t find my benzos

Just got horrible news and things feel so bad and unsurviveable

I have a bandage on my wrist because I burnt myself on the oven a few days ago and it’s super triggering me back to the days I used to self harm 😖 2 years 11 months self harm free

I did not sleep at all last night and as a result, had to take a sick day from work. Let’s hope for a better night

I burnt my forearm on the top of the oven trying to get the pizza stone out 😭

My brain is being mean

Going home to put my foot up

So sleepy

Trying to sleep and my brain is like hey remember that time you got sexually assaulted while you were asleep

When I went to my dad’s recently, we were going through one of the wall units where mum kept sentimental stuff in the bottom cupboards. There was nothing of mine in there, just my sister. My mum made me take everything with me when I came out to her.

Hi I’m my mum’s milk didn’t come in and the nurses didn’t believe her and let me starve Hi I’m nearly got hit by an ambulance (ironic) Hi I’m mental illness Hi I’m domestic violence Hi I’m kiwifruit