Getting veryyyy conflicted weather reports for next week which is annoying cause I need to know which day I’m gonna call out!

I have no enemy in this world great than UPS.

THAT IS POPPYCOCK!

People are always like what’s something you miss from the past and one of mine is antitrust laws

Oh, she really tonk huh?

I can’t explain it but I kinda love when a car smells a little bit like cigarettes.

The only one of my new coworkers I’ve started to get close to is leaving at the end of the week 🙃

Bringing my tattoo artist homemade soup and bread to thank him for working during a blizzard.

Are you guys still gonna like me when I shave one of my thighs tomorrow?

Everyone is on warm vacations but I just made a reallyyyy good chicken salad so who’s really winning?

Sobbing while watching men’s figure-skating.

Lots of crying at the Olympics.

To the Dutch speed skating who was just adjusting is crotch on the ice. I’m available for marriage.

Yall ever have an ice cold diet Dr. Pepper?!? It’s pure joy.

Guys I don’t mean to shock you but you can have snacks without having to watch football.

Help! I want to fuck every single Olympic athlete!

I’m gonna eat 3,000 calories worth of buffalo chicken dip today.

I hate that I’m such a slut for wing stop.

I have a singular outlet in my apartment that still has power. ConnEd count your fucking days.

How has it been 24 hours and ConnEd has only made things worse?!

Over stimmed at the function YET AGAIN. I really just need to accept that I can not do substances anymore while I’m on anti depressants.

Well, someone was betrayed that night…

Well, my hot water tank just cracked and started flooding my apartment, as well as my downstairs neighbors. I really LOVE BEING ALIVE!

The city need to employe youths to shovel.

E*g*d for like 4 hours and now I’m gonna smoke weed and eat a frozen pizza. Love a silly little snow day.

Kill Bill references in this weeks JJK? 😩

Today is day 4 of my new job, and I’ve already resolved a third of their total backlog without having access to like half the systems yet. Wtf has my new teammate spent their time doing?!?

I think it’s time for a slutty thigh tattoo.

If I don’t get a breakfast burrito in the next 20 minutes there’s a good chance I will die.

My son’s not depressed he just likes the dark!

Never kill yourself!

I called out of work today and forced myself to do the worst activities known man. Went to the post office, the pharmacy, the doctors, and did cardio.

One of the few times I’m #blessed and #thankful to be an AT&T subscriber

Not sure if I buy gay people’s evolutionary existence is to ease tension and reduce conflict.

Last week at a job I hated. I’m gonna be suchhhhhhh a cunt.

SATC on Heated Rivalry: Samantha: I love the sex scenes , they really get me hot Charlotte: it’s not about the sex, they’re in love! Miranda: it’s not bad enough we’re always talking about a man, now we’re talking about TWO men? Carrie: Big’s moving to Canada

My roommate refused to watch heated rivalry and I feel like that should allow me to commit an act of violence against him.

Not to be gay, but having friends that are so genuine in wanting to celebrate you when good things happen is the best feeling in the world.

Finally hear back on my counter offer and I’m so fucking happy. I’m getting like a 45% increase 😭 I’m actually crying in a taxi rn.

No Sunday scaries here cause I get to quit my job tomorrow!

I’m too young to be living through the second war for oil in my life time.

Getting a pedicure so that my roommate can rail some twink.

They walked so Heated Rivalry could run.

When will we create an antibiotic that doesn’t wreck my stomach?

Where the fuck was Nini when I lived in Denver?!

If there’s one thing I’m gonna do is like everyone’s posts.

‘She looks like she had a time a Michael’s’ is the craziest read.

Thought I BOMBED the second stage interview for a new job last week and then got nothing but positive feedback from it and I just did my final rounds today fucking crushed it. LETS GOOOOOOOOOO!

Can we leave those jeweled butt plugs in 2025 please?