I need a low vibrational plate in my life right now 😭

Me: my eyebrows are shaped differ… Them: no they are the same I got this Them: you don’t have hair here and this arch is different *hands mirror Me: ion like it Them: I like it, it looks good Me: I don’t. Can you take some from the bottom. Them: *PA fixing* they are different Me 🙄

My Mamas 1st international vacation starts in less than 24hrs and I’m bout to ground her

Ima be lost at sea in a few days. I need them to finish it before then, return it and it be in my queue before I leave

If you could message the person in front of you in line on Libby, I’d be on this ladies ass right now.

Okay. I’m not tryna be insensitive, but ain’t Ray J supposed to be dead by now?

Watching a close relative care more about their addiction than anything else in this world, can really turn you cold

I need this month to go till the 31st. Everything is getting away from me 😭

I finished it, thankfully it was beautifully anticlimactic.

I stopped reading my current book because I think the main character is gonna die and I don’t have it in me to process the death of another black child right now even if it’s fictional. So let the reading slump begin

I’m pretty sure I was talking to ai call rep. But I’m not sure. That’s kinda scary

Libby: Your loan expires soon. Me: Renew loan Libby: We cannot renew. Would you like to place a hold? Me: *sigh* Place hold. Libby: You have placed a hold. This book has 1/10 Loans This title has 0/10 Holds So I'm the only one with it or who wants but I can't renew it!?

Me when booking a vacation: “I’m only gonna wear clothes out my closet.” Me 30 days before vacation: “ I don’t have time to figure it out, I need to order what I’m gonna wear

I finished my 52nd book of the year, accomplishing my goal for the year. 🥳

I hate this timeline. I’m bout to quantum leap. This shit for the birds

My friends calls me every time I take a melatonin without fail.

I keep watching this lady get her ass beat in an elevator then falling asleep. I really wanna know what happens after, I just can’t stay up 😂

Bitch if I walk in this store and ice cream is $10 a pint. Ima knock everything over and steal it

There’s only one baby left from the “Raggedy Kids Daycare” and then everybody is grown. What will be call it then. Raggedy Adults Club 😭

My baby turned 18th today 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 She’s not a baby anymore

I knew Q2 was gonna bless me. I just wish I wasn’t struggling to get my feet up under me.

Having to go to work every day feels greedy. This is greedy. You just saw me. I don’t even have access to my time like this

Please pray for me. My Instacart shopper is a man. And I really need everything to be right with my order 😭🙏🏾

I couldn’t imagine feeding a family of 5 fast food. On the low end its $60 for one bs meal. I’d have the whole family starving

When it dawned on me that the room probably stinks bc she’s half yt and it’s probably that wet puppy dog smell, I’ve never been able to look at her the same.

This yt dude just asked me if I have an only fans…. Ion even look like an only fans kinda girl 😵‍💫

I’ll go! With a warm plate in hand ☺️

I think it’s so hilarious when my friends tell other ppl stuff I told them bar for bar like they came up with it themselves 🥹

I’ve given myself permission to speak on all the ways 30 has changed me, like I’m the first person to ever be 30😂

After a long day of arguing with Qatar Airways

Sitting here plotting how im gonna give my chocolate birthday to the kids on the beach outside the adults only resort. Side Note. I hate Kids and Chocolate Cake. I have no clue how we got here

If finally 30!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

I’m impressed

I jumped in the Indian Ocean and my makeup stayed on

When I tell you everybody telling me I deserve an amazing birthday, believing while living it is a beautiful experience

Yt ppl gotta stop doing blow 😂😂😂

I’ve already decided ima be one of those old ladies in the club at 50 showing my whole ass Bc one thing about it come Monday. Ima be back at that job. I got the money to spend, And I gotta show the young folks how it was done.

Listen. I’m not responsible for what happens if they start playin my anthem.

Hmmmmmm.

Strawberries have just become a wack as fruit

I wanna get a Moroccan Bath… but these spots give sex workers. I’m scared

As a barback turned bartender. Barbacks please know your place. Don’t find yourself in britches too big for you.

If you have any doubts about flying right now. Just don’t. This shit is absolutely ridiculous

ARIES SEASON, GET INTO IT!!!

I need to stumble across a really juicy 90 part TikTok that has all the videos linked and posted ASAP. It’s been a minute

Watching diesel go from $2.89 to $5.05 this quarter is more than enough of a reason for me not to pay my taxes this year

12 hours on schedule 1 later, I'm finna start cooking crack idc

I understand following the rules, but trying to be above board all the time is an irrational standard to hold ppl to. And frankly more than what I’m willing to do

I made a big ass taco salad, got halfway through it and realized I never put any meat on it…. AND IT WAS STILL GOOD AF