Vanessa Guerrero
@nessguerrero.bsky.social
š¤ 4627
š„ 330
š 3491
Horror dork. Handsome idiot. Formerly El Rey, Attack of the Show. Formerly at Game Grumps.
Sleeping next to Turtle feels so healing.
about 13 hours ago
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My niece asked if she can list me as an emergency contact for field trips and sleepovers and I was like āmy child, I would literally grow wings and fly to you if you needed me.ā
about 21 hours ago
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Turtle has a way of sinking all of her weight onto one paw that she mashes into my boob.
about 22 hours ago
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My mom is making tea because my parents are spending the night before I take them to the airport in the morning and my dad is like āLook at your mother, she takes my breath awayā and sheās wearing an oversized crown royal shirt.
1 day ago
3
36
0
I donāt know why I got so hopeful that I would get an email about an interview or a job right now.
2 days ago
3
17
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Showing this to my roommate on 420 because itās our future
2 days ago
2
28
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POV you have a chili dog and I want it.
3 days ago
8
43
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āLiving with you is not not like living with Beetlejuiceā - my roomie.
3 days ago
4
25
1
My couch is judging me
3 days ago
5
36
2
I used to cyber sext over AOL instant messenger because I AIM to please.
4 days ago
10
90
12
Iām taking a date to see Jackass 2 and it feels like Iām introducing him to my parents.
5 days ago
3
46
0
I finished my work I can have my cake
5 days ago
3
34
0
Everything is making me cry because I have a lot on my plate and my fucking period wonāt even go away but Iām crying even harder because I really want a piece of cake but I can have it until my work is completed.
5 days ago
1
17
0
I tried to type āEvil Deadā and instead typed āDeviled Eggā
7 days ago
7
38
1
Every few weeks a woman in my neighborhood, sometimes but not always me, but always a woman. That will just sit on the porch and listen to My Way and stare out into the street.
7 days ago
3
21
1
Showing my roommate this and watching her like Iām introducing her to a family member
7 days ago
0
16
0
I was so sick with food poisoning so my mom came over and made me a homemade tortilla with butter š„¹
8 days ago
5
55
0
I have a playlist for when youāre Down Bad for someone.
9 days ago
7
52
3
My anxiety may be powerful but Iām armed with klonopin and a warm tub.
9 days ago
3
20
1
Oh so everyone was excited to harass a lesbian for no reason?
add a skeleton here at some point
9 days ago
1
45
5
Just got super high and ate a burrito after sending out 20 job applications. May something come through! Please!
9 days ago
21
210
2
I changed into a nightie after a brunch date and the full face of makeup plus nightgown is giving Butterfield 8.
10 days ago
4
45
1
Itās finally cold enough to wear my racing jacket.
10 days ago
2
26
0
Instead of going to Coachella I will be at home snuggling my cat watching the Coachella episode of Insecure which is a perfect episode of television.
11 days ago
2
28
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Happy 77th to the man that loves me more than any human is capable of. I love you dad!
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11 days ago
4
42
0
A famous racist comedian used to call me āAlabama Shakesā as an insult and like first of all, Brittany Howard and I are entirely different races and second of all ooooooh noooo, I VAGUELY look like a beautiful and cool extremely talented woman.
11 days ago
3
54
1
My sister in law got me a cook book Iāve been dying for.
11 days ago
0
19
0
reposted by
Vanessa Guerrero
Harmony Colangelo
12 days ago
Classic.
6
281
51
Iāve been instructed to be the decoy to distract my father from his surprise party and Iāve been specifically told āDo not start a fight with a man at Home Depot againā.
12 days ago
4
37
1
My parents got glamour shots for their dogs at the salon.
12 days ago
6
58
1
Turtleās armpit obsession has now led to her waking me up in the middle of the night to chew on my armpits.
12 days ago
1
22
0
Very excited for the children to discover Tales from the Crypt when it comes to streaming.
13 days ago
1
41
10
Iām on my period and having a miserable time so my roommate put on Malignant because thatās the secret to cheering me up.
14 days ago
2
31
0
My favorite cheese store is closing and I canāt afford to stockpile their delicious cheeses š
14 days ago
3
17
0
Every time I get a job rejection letter I give myself 5 minutes to Be Sad On The Floor.
14 days ago
4
36
1
When getting mugged was a *little* funny.
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15 days ago
6
27
1
My mom thinks I have a crush on a boy because Iām mean to him on the phone and I had to explain thatās just how I talk.
16 days ago
2
29
0
Iām so stressed I dreamed all my teeth fell out twice in one night.
16 days ago
5
21
0
Someone is pouting because I wouldnāt let her have an expired churu.
17 days ago
5
72
0
Just suddenly remembered that like 14 years ago my stupid ex got a boner at the hall of presidents and we couldnāt get up for like five minutes.
17 days ago
7
30
1
I donāt believe in god but I believe in all of you so please wish, pray, speak it into existence that I get a job this month because things are so so dire. Iām not even sure Iāll be able to keep the lights on.
18 days ago
5
52
2
My dad said because Iām broke he will refuse all gifts for his birthday next week but I think Iāll make him a bouquet of all the flowers in my yard Iāve grown because he loves getting flowers.
18 days ago
1
59
0
reposted by
Vanessa Guerrero
Catbus
23 days ago
š¤
5
8646
3080
Sheās basically a weighted heat pad.
19 days ago
4
59
2
My roommate is trying to sell my on Cloud Atlas and just said āKeith David plays an Asian manā.
19 days ago
9
23
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I just got really high and asked my roommate how much money she thinks I could make out of someone paying me to punch them in the face.
19 days ago
7
16
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Thank you to everyone who has said something nice about my dad and his dogs. Please enjoy him feeding them. I wish I caught him singing the breakfast song he sings to them this morning before I left.
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19 days ago
11
258
4
MARK MY WORDS, if I get a good job this year Iām taking my mama to Vietnam for her birthday.
19 days ago
0
20
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Hi friends. I hate doing this but Turtle needs cat litter because I just accidentally spilled it all cleaning her box ( š) and only had enough to refill it again so now Iām out. If anyone can, I added it to a wishlist.
www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
loading . . .
Check out my list on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A2I062KAQZPI?ref_=wl_share
19 days ago
2
10
6
While Iāve been unemployed Iāve been gardening and itās a little messy but I think I got my front yard into a really cute place.
19 days ago
0
26
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