Judgespeak for, "The only reason this is taking so long is that your arguments, while transparently dumb, are legion."

To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, "How could they tell?"

This is what we have lost.

I'm just glad my parents identified as people who loved their children.

Nobody in the Democratic Party would be the slightest bit surprised if Bill Clinton wound up in the Epstein business, nor would they fall all over themselves to defend him. That's a Team Red thing.

Truth.

The fan service in Rogue One contributes to its strengths and weaknesses. Strengths. They know that we know where this is going. Shooting Vader's boarding the rebel frigate as a horror movie or Aliens scene is awesome. Weaknesses. The CGI Tarkin and (especially) Leia drop kick you out of the movie.

Rewatching the big command conference in "Rogue One." Wow, the Rebellion really needs a George Washington or General Giap. Death Star? Just another name for Yorktown or Dien Bien Phu.

Nothing is so bad that fraudsters cannot make it even worse.

Pay no attention to the occupation army. Pretend they are just drunk drivers and public urinators doing their community service.

What a burden to be old enough to know who Dean Cain is

On the up side, smarter, more deserving countries may inherit the Earth.

"Make this guy's life sound better, but plausibly so. I mean, not so much that people who knew him would actually laugh."

Not very common take: a competent oligarch would have used his White House influence to get immunity from lawsuits instead of torpedoing USAID clean water projects in South Sudan.

The bait-and-switch subject line of an ultimately disappointing Kickstarter email.

If the walls of my lawyer office were lined with bookshelves full of case reporters, they would only be to conceal the entrance to the Counselcave.

[narrator voice]: The Bad News Bears did not actually win their final game, but did get all the beer, which was the important part.

Scum rises to the top.

This would be nice if it was even remotely true, either for France or for the US. Both countries are famous for how we shrug off this kind of disgrace.

You probably don't need a case for your phone.

The human race will take the discovery of intelligent extraterrestrial life in stride, without any of the upheaval, for good or bad, predicted by science fiction.

"I took this as a sign that God doesn't want me to go to the Wal Mart returns department, which I can now really appreciate. But therefore, our great nephew will have a new Nintendo Switch 2." My spouse, "I really can't leave you alone, can I?" "No, no you cannot."

I guess that's what really bugs me about it. I fooled myself into thinking we would have a less moronic demise.

Yeah, funny thing - since I moved to a deep Blue county in a solidly Blue state, I have yet to be hit up for school supplies. Go figure.

Hereabouts, we're all getting a bit gray around the muzzle.

Anyone who says "This is what they voted for" in response to the tragedy unfolding in Texas is having a vile thought and needs to sit shamefully in a corner until they learn what solidarity is.

There's just no limit to their evil.

Not that you need me to tell you, but this Administration has a sad, insecure, and weak idea of America.

2029: among the heaps of classified papers found at Mar al Largo is a secret recipe containing these two colonels' 11 herbs and spices.

The guy marching along holding a drone up over his head, like he's a ten-year-old showing off a birthday present. Very inspiring.

i'm surprised by how low energy and farcical that whole military parade situation was. I was expecting Moscow 1945 and we got Spirit Halloween instead.

Excuse me while I go sprinting back to my old personal injury firm.

You want to say that we deserve better than to be ruled by such morons, but it becomes increasingly clear we don't.

To paraphrase your Mom, people who want you to suffer are not your real friends.

The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements by Eric Hoffer. (My high school history teacher took a break from the prescribed curriculum and had us read it.)

Blaming the "media" for this lets the American people off the hook. For a huge percentage an attempted coup was just one of those "process" things, like the Electoral College or gerrymandering. It is the evaporation of the American civic religion. Nobody can protect us from the consequences of that.

I hope this email finds you blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated ... it just goes on and on.

Cranks of extreme ideological stripes loves them some dictatorships. When I was a young liberal, I questioned why I was supposed to cut Castro a lot of slack but take a hard line against the apartheid regime. We saw that more recently with Hugo Chavez's American fanbois.

"I am promising to bring down homeowners' insurance rates. My opponent is promising to create a State Secretary of Youth Sports Genital Inspection." Campaign like that.

An odd inversion of "it's the cover-up that gets you." If you are brazen enough, people won't think there's anything wrong.

Trying to jam everything - foreign and domestic, past, present, and future - into the contemporary US political framework is the cue to delete your accounts and go read a book.

With the perspective of 38 years or so, I can safely say this was a bad idea.

I am sure someone has redone that old post of Conservative Dad explaining to Son why saving up $20 to buy that $19.99 thing won't work because taxes make it cost $21.53, right?

"You, young man, are bad!" "If being bad means I have legal weed, unlimited free pr0n, and the best video games in the universe, I don't want to be good."

A solution in search of a problem, wrapped up in an excuse for official pervs to scrutinize peoples' junk.

There is no "unifying" with a party that has unashamedly abandoned America's core values and embraced blood-and-soil nationalism.

Some things I never heard about when I was a kid that therefore could not have existed and were later caused by vaccinations: testosterone, international sea lanes, real vanilla, and John Lee Hooker’s version of ‘Boom, Boom’.

It's 2025 and Lucas is, "Y'all had a good laugh at the screen crawl for Episode One, but guess who's now suddenly all hot about the taxation of trade routes?"

The one thing some anti-Trumpers share with pro-Trumpers is the entirely delusional belief that he is cunningly playing some kind of twelve-dimensional chess.

During my Lenten hiatus from social media, I read more books. One of the things I learned was that Josef Mengele was so terrified that the Israelis might capture him that he chewed his moustache to the point of giving himself a hairball.