A UK passport?

Are those that get taken by the Rapture the same type of people who were in Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B?

Never thought I’d agree with him

Ok quick check in Anyone been Raptured?

If you are so embarrassed to be doing a job you have to wear a mask Maybe ask yourself Should I be doing this job?

Bring me sunshine

My local Everyman makes me feel like I’m in the Overlook Hotel (Redrum redrum redrum)

Did I miss the rapture? Better not happen now - I’ve just ordered a pint

Couldn’t they have summarised it as “don’t listen to the two orange blokes. They are nuts”?

Think the Raptures happening about 5:15pm today Just got a spot in the strength and conditioning class at the gym at 5:15, due to “cancellations”

Won’t take him long

Very sad news RIP Dickie

Well At least today’s good for one thing - the beautiful Debbie youtu.be/pHCdS7O248g?...

Dumb and Dumber

I’d replace the word “rich” With the words “a dick”

Ding Dong The Don has gone?

Erm…. Yes it’s known

So this Rapture thing Is it like Christmas and on the same day every year? Or Is it like Easter and moves every year? And So we get a bank holiday?

So it’s the rapture tomorrow Anyone got any plans?

God knows?

I can imagine if they get elected that Zia is going to have to have a very awkward conversation with his parents

How to make your car un-nickable

Cue cries to get ICE to illegally arrest and deport British born Oliver

New arrival Seeing them live next month for the first time in about 25 years!

Yup My mums side were from Ireland My dads side from France - also Huguenots escaping religious persecution- asylum seekers I just hope I’m not related to Fartage

Everyone in this country is descended from immigrants. Every single last one of us. And many, like Mr Farage, will have very recent migrant ancestors indeed and not even know about it.

Date #43 It was sunny So the seaside and lunch out Why not? And back at tynemouth market so got my kids* 55 Pokémon cards each so I’ll be a popular dad when I get home *19 and 22!

Looks like he copped a good feel as well But I bet his little tinky winky never rises to the occasion Sick twat

Footage from the new Hunger Games film released Yeah I’m joking But it looks like a dystopian future doesn’t it? Except it’s now So it’s not funny

Footage from the new Hunger Games film released Yeah I’m joking But it looks like a dystopian future doesn’t it? Except it’s now So it’s not funny

That woman has more balls then all those masked morons put together

A soggy doggy

Is anyone else expecting a bloke called Noah to float past in a big wooden boat filled with animals?

It’s 19:33 And I’m not afraid to say I have my Pajamas on! Anyone else?

Attempted murder!

Maybe if that person wasn’t a lying fraudulent sex offender the stories would be better?

Ok good hint! Not done it yet But not sure how “batshitcrazyincontinentsexoffenderandfraudsterandgeneralbiggesttwatofthiscentury” fits into 5 letters

KILDUNNE! two amazing tries

Bloody hell Palpitations! But ahead at the moment CMON RED ROSES!

This is absolutely superb. What a woman! 😆

I hear there’s a vacancy at Turning Point USA

CANCEL THE GUARDIAN

Looking good!

Is he going for the role of shadow health secretary in Deform? Nob

Just in time for Halloween

Dump Respectfully, fuck off

Dump Respectfully, fuck off

Melanias trying hard to forget who he is And his teeny tiny mushroom

Is it morally, ethically and environmentally wrong to make food out of vegans?