The Taco Bell…betrayed me?

Am I allowed to take the day off bc Im hungover from work related activities? (I had to throw up before pressing send on this bad boy)(I’m on the floor)

Just heard a dude on a date ask shawty what her name was again so he is for sure not getting laid tonight

I really drank a bottle of Tito’s to myself and polished off someone else’s tequila bottle before I hit .08 smh

Not me drunk ordering the whole farm at Dave’s hot chicken

Drinking at work for science and I appear to be the only one having trouble getting drunk

Nobody wants to say it so I’ll be the bad guy here: if you are under the age of 70 and still falling for phishing scams in 2025, you deserve it and I don’t feel bad for you. You’ve had a quarter of a century+ to learn all the signs of phishing so it’s just modern day Darwinism at this point.

The best part of Rematch is I don’t have to worry about being offsides every 5 seconds and all tackles are legal lmao

This is a forpoon, not a spork. I will not be taking any follow up questions.

Not me falling asleep with my phone unlocked and accidentally Instagram dm’ing a coworker a voice memo of me snoring at 4 in the morning

My uber is going 55 in a 60 in the left lane smh

Throat and nose are a little spicy and I definitely fucked my ankle and my body is going to hurt all over tomorrow but covering tonight’s protest was worth it. That being said, I might be getting too old for this (and too out of shape)

Kshama Sawant’s campaign stump speech interrupted by chants of “illegals can’t vote”

Two announcers from South Korea’s SPOTV, Myung-jung Kim and Se-woon Park, are known for big reactions. They have become social media stars in the U.S. for their reactions during the NBA finals.

Idk if this is considered an anime hot take or not but Vigilantes is much better than MHA

Smoking weed and playing video games here! twitch.tv/pluroco

Five years after the murder of George Floyd, @pluroco.bsky.social is still carrying the trauma from documenting Seattle’s protests — and still asking: what’s really changed? These photos aren’t nostalgia. They’re a reminder the fight’s still here, and it still needs you.

Are my plans for the day to get high and ride the train to Lynnwood for some Olive Garden? Yes, yes they are.

My red flag is I order tuna at subway

Capitol Hill says it’s in crisis—just don’t put a crisis center there. Molly Moon and local business owners packed a meeting to oppose King County’s plan for a 24/7 mental health facility in the old Polyclinic. The problem’s real—they just want it somewhere else.

I firmly believe once you go bidet you can’t go back, and I miss my old bidet so much

I’ve been checking my email every five minutes to see if livenation got back to me about shooting the Kendrick show. Keep your fingers crossed for me fam

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not but Pokémon Crystal was my favorite Pokémon game

Adam Silver continues to make the NBA a joke www.barstoolsports.com/blog/3545031...

I’m watching Curb from the beginning and thought Ted Danson was Gary Busey and that’s apparently the most racist thing I’ve ever said lmao

Animal parents who wish themselves happy Mother’s Day are cringe

I remember growing up my Lola was like “you’ll never go hungry if you learn to make spam and eggs” and now a can of spam and a carton of eggs is gonna run you like $20 lol

The career estate sale liquidators are no joke tho lmao they kinda mean

Just went to my first estate sale and walked out with a four bulb hue starter set, rice cooker, two cast iron pans, and a Perry the platypus piggy bank for $70

Sk8r Boi walked so Misery Business could run

I guess what I’m really saying is I miss 2013 twitter. That was peak internet and I won’t hear anyone say otherwise. Just don’t search my tweets from 2013 - there are a lot of frank ocean lyrics lmao

I can’t quite figure out my place on Bluesky…I feel like I’m a little too degen for Bluesky but not into being called the n word enough to regularly use twitter

I refuse to believe that this wasn’t an ai generated image lmao

Definitely grew up calling this the Alaskan Pipeline

Cleaning the old apartment and I forgot my headphones at home so this is officially the worst

I lied I had 12 more hours of vacation left so I took today off. We’ll try again tomorrow.

Let the record show I’m only returning to work bc I have no more personal or bereavement days left. Mentally, I’m still mourning and disassociating.

"You should treasure the encounters you have, death isn't the only goodbye in this life." I love you grammy. Keep some salmon cakes and grits warm on the stove for me until we meet again on the other side.

Just woke up talking in my sleep saying “Oh shit am I the blacktivities? Bang bang skeet neega”

I feel like I just heard a shit ton of gun shots going off in pioneer square

Drunk at art walk

Just found out I don’t have to pay rent this month and it’s taking all my power not to buy a new camera lmao lemme be responsible for once in my life

Serious question: who told will smith to start making music again?

Paramore is good for the soul

LUKA TO LEBRON FOR THE TREY BALL 🎯 That's Luka's 10th AST giving him a triple-double while LeBron's up to 20 PTS! WE'RE TIED IN THE 4Q AT 91 🍿

THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT WHEN IM GLAZING HIS COURT VISION

It is actually hilarious watching Luka get doubled and LeBron getting the easiest shots of his life

Luka Doncic gets to live out everyone's dream by thriving in his new job to spite a former boss who didn't really believe in him