“I’M IN THE PEDO-ARMY. I’M IN THE MAGASTAPO. I’M IN THE COMBINATION PEDO-ARMY/MAGASTAPO.”

YOU ARE HERE.

Remember when they warned us that Biden would send armed IRS agents to our door?

Does Temu not make ice cleats?

If maga was interested in enforcing the law, Trump would be in jail for treason and rape.

Had so much fun doing this! (Sorry I forgot to dry out my headphones first).

Lucky Charms aren’t “magically” delicious. It’s the fucking sugar.

I’m sorry, but “Men’s Open” is a gross thing to name something.

Once I couldn’t remember the name for Curb Your Enthusiasm and the closest thing I could come up with was Don’t Get So Excited.

Guys, let’s stay focused- he’s just starting World War III to distract from the government-backed kidnappings.

America is learning what happens when resistance to tyranny is upheld with more guns than books.

I can’t believe the guy who kept trying to give people cups of his sperm is unstable.

It’s been so long since I’ve had a good day’s sleep.

“It’s just a mental health issue.” www.nytimes.com/2025/05/01/u...

Don’t tread on me, but save me a spot on the breadline.

Narrator voice: They could, in fact, lose.

Cheese > sleaze

Women communicate their war plans telepathically.

I guess those clowns leading people into the woods just ran out of steam.

It’s just Government Derangement Syndrome now.

How dare you protest the pintos sold by the guy who bought the election.

THE TESLAS ARE OUR COFFINS!

I was lead to believe the Horsemen of the Apocalypse would be better looking than this.

I was worrying about the Palestinian protester getting killed in jail on Trump’s watch, but then I remembered he’s not a wealthy sex trafficker that Trump was “best friends” with.

Trump is inviting farmers from South Africa to replace the ones he’s killing off with budget cuts, drained reservoir water, and vaccine misinformation.

“This is who we’re defunding.”

Honestly kind of disappointed we *aren’t* making transgender mice.

the democrats should all wear juggalo makeup, I don’t think it would help but it would be annoying to give a speech looking at that

"No Other Land," the Palestinian-Israeli made film showing the destruction of the occupied West Bank's Masafer Yatta by Israeli soldiers, just won the Oscar for Best Documentary. It can't get a distributor in the US. Which tells you everything about censorship in the US.

So much for the Laken Riley Act.

Is there anything in The Constitution about turning the U.S. into Only Fans?

Most of you have no idea how close Maine already was to considering itself seceded without any encouragement.

If a federal employee replied to the "What have you done in the last week?" email with "Tweeted once every six minutes", how would that go over?

What was Ukraine wearing? www.nbcnews.com/politics/don...

Trump has made it illegal to deadname Gulf of America.

Don’t let anyone who supports pro-wrestling tell you it’s wrong for kids to see a man in a dress.

Yeah, it’s not like they’re school kids.

I don’t want to brag, but I can open those scary dough tube thingies without a spoon.

I don’t trust the media. I only trust the incoherent ramblings of this one guy who constantly contradicts himself and is a known liar and felon.

Maybe Elon just needs our social security numbers because he’s running out of things to name his kids.

Elon Musk is a terrible president.

There’s like, no way in hell RFK Jr. *hasn’t* committed bestiality at some point, right?

Would this be a bad time to remind everyone that God is a woman?

A man who was inside Amber Heard has your Social Security number.

Trump may be a fascist but he keeps the planes crashing on time.

I posted a picture of a sunset on Instagram and two people unfollowed me. And you know what? I get it.

I wonder if Pete Hegseth picked up his 24-hr chip yet.

Being an American right now is like being locked in a burning car careening off a cliff into a forest fire and the guy next to you keeps offering you a cup of his semen.