i’m borderline and not only am i borderline, i am proud to be so.

how would y'all make the distinction between "gaze" and "witness"? the first chapter of my book uses the distinction to frame how people with personality disorders are related to and how we might relate to them in a more emancipatory world.

“Our existences as valuable rather than value as our existences…I don’t presuppose and instead refuse the rationality of relations through which social norms and values are the guiding measure of how we live and respond to our vulnerabilities in connection with one another.” from my book draft

the enemy of all of us is utility—the way in which the value of life is assessed and governed to serve political, social and economic interests alien and antagonistic to many forms of life.

i have an announcement to make: i am plural. i have two headmates: Ceros and Ahana. Ceros is a bunny around the age of 12 who holds all my trauma and tends to self-sabotage. Ahana is a sunny sunflower—she is happy and bright and radiant and wants to free from trauma. 1/2

i want to make clear that connection is not a universal need. some of us as people with personality disorders do not desire it as their chief concern. the main concern that most of us share is the way in which sane-connectivity is wielded against us—excision becomes a justification for violence.

PDs have a complicated relationship with collectivity. it’s both antagonistic & the means of liberation. we need collectivity to mobilize political action & meet some of our needs for connection. sanity-infused collectivity excises & disavows us to a zone of deprivation/ungrievability/unlivablity.

the reason why many people with personality disorders struggle with the conditions of their oppression & vulnerability alone, locally or therapeutically—without deeper political consciousness/ambitions—is because they don’t have the connective tissue of collectivity to envision & work toward more.

i plan to have this quote in my book on personality disorder liberation: Incongruent Vulnerabilities.

“You would have needed people who saw that all the ways our bodies are made wrong, held responsible for our own mistreatment, blamed for showing the impact of oppression, all the ways our nature is called defective, are connected, rooted in the same terrible notion about what is of value.”

💔💔

a false assumption about the experiences of people with personality disorders is that we are unique, extreme, extraordinary cases and thus are excised from proper ethical, critical and political attention. liberation doesn’t apply to us because DESERVE our oppression—we bring it on ourselves.

hugs to those of us in institutions this holiday season—confined away from family and community, may you still find moments of joy.

An important Xmas message ❤️💥

i wrote 0 words today haha i’ll try to write something before bed

Edwige died at a St Andrews hospital, she fell unconscious and the nurses chose not to resuscitate her. They thought she was 'faking it' in order to attack them, she'd never done that before. Edwige's family had to turn off her life support days later. 84% of St Andrews income is NHS money.

I know I'm not a big shot among published writers but I still think I'm a worthy writer to be read. And I still think my work holds up to the big shots. That's my truth!

Log your ass off & read a book sometime today.

an affirmation i wrote!

my book reflects on lessons learned from 25 years living as somebody who has been subjected to horror-filled forms of able-minded and sane power—as well as it reflects on the concomitant struggles of responding adequately and courageously to its effects on my psyche and body.

recent book haul!

i wrote 2,000 words today!

AI is a reification & manipulation of relations of able-mindedness & sanity. it’s a machine & apparatus of reason created to multiply mental capacities—it’s positively eugenic: supplementing & naturalizing the performance of sanity by algorithmically institutionalizing it—encoding and codifying it.

“[W]e owe it to ourselves to name the world we cannot live without, even as we diagnose the world we cannot live within.” (Benjamin 2022, 279) “[T]ransformative change happens when we are willing to build the things that we know must exist.” (Hayes and Kaba 2023, 13)

This book is titled “Disabling Intelligences” for many reasons. First, because so-called “AI” is built from historical commitments to the excision of disability from the classification of humanity. link.springer.com/book/10.1007/9…

a ton of traditional forms of history-writing focused on wars and political events because the goal has often been to write the history of States—usually as a way to give historicity and legitimacy to sovereignty.

I be on MY page with my manifestos. When people swoop in your mentions with their manifestos that include complex worldbuilding & it's their whole thing they evangelize that they wait for any tangentially related point to stick in there it's weird. They should be on their page with their manifestos.

i wrote nearly 1200 words today for my book!

The words we use to talk about AAC matter. They shape how people feel seen and included, as well as our everyday practices. Not just #AutRes but our sample was Autistic-heavy, and lots of Autistic people (including me!) use AAC. So new, free paper I'm on: assistivewa.re/4j3DCD3 #AcademicSky

i wrote this affirmation!

We've been kissing 😘 under the mistletoe already! 🤗 You should too! 🥰

I have a title for my book on personality disorder liberation, of course, subject to change: Incongruent Vulnerabilities: On Personality Disorder Liberation

Happy Xmas from the @asylummagazine.bsky.social editorial group❤️ Thank you for supporting @asylummagazine.bsky.social ❤️

i have two essays coming out in Asylum. they are backlogged so it will be while before we see them out—but something to look forward to!! their titles are below: —The importance of naming ourselves: the case of personality disorders and transness —Anti-Sanity: An Explanation

i mourn the alliances lost because of my BPD relational instability—the people with whom i shared a connected struggle for liberation. i lost them. however, it just means i fight a battle—whether it is personal, political, psychological, bodily, or social—that they do not share. it’s lonely.

my goal this winter break is to meet somebody in real life. at least to make conversation with somebody i meet in real life.

PDphobia is the intolerance experienced in response to the mere presence and existence of personality disorders as forms of life. it is the rejection and disorientation experienced in response to the ways in which PD vulnerabilities are incongruent with the social world surrounding them.

i wish to make connections with other writers and academics in areas related to my work—but i get nervous about approaching them because i feel like maybe i’m not talented enough for them to want to be connected to me. i know this is a feeling that is a product of being excluded from academia.

Please check out and share the small excerpt from my book project i posted on my blog.

a couple of affirmations i wrote

if anything, AI reifies able-mindedness, sanity and reason.

i don’t think “degrades cognitive function” or “fosters psychosis” should be the framings of why AI is bad and should be abolished. i agree that it should be abolished but we don’t need the positing of AI as oppositional to able-mindedness/sanity to make that argument.

My essay is about how shame co-occurs with the most precious parts of our senses of self. It seeps into us when the most powerful aspects of our lives are violated by the world, by other people or by ourselves. open.substack.com/pub/tenderly...

I think it's fascist to expect trauma to be a taboo subject in this traumatised & dysfunctional world You don't get to make others play pretend that all our pain isn't real. That's so controlling.

I just wish someone would be honest and say “we are ending civilian science in favor of science that is focused on serving national security and war”

A more honest proposal would be "Has Feminism Given Us the Ability to Profit from Lying to Other Women?"