that’s a keeper

It's official, I'm too European for this American football shit. Wym your scores are in the tens every game. Wym you teach your children to brash their heads against each other and rely on upper mgmt (coaches) and the lil boss (qb) for creating strategy and play vs working as a team

I may or may not have received a text from someone in my life asking me if I have the emails for the PWHL LV, Hamilton, Boston, and Detroit GMs and I had to blink twice bc i am the least well connected pwhl person they know of

George Russell is going to struggle hard this weekend vs antonelli on exclusive grounds of British heritage (cold, damp, no sun) vs Italian heritage (historically experiences dripping sweat weather every summer) rip bro

The summary of austria fp1: it's hot outside and everything is unhinged

Alonso complaining about AM having no money for upgrades- bro, quelle surprise. Stroll Sr is in the files and probably had to pay off people to keep it quiet that he offered his 7yo daughter to Epstein. AM F1 is sponsored/paid for by Stroll Sr's investment portfolios (has to get investors to agree)

I just had the most affirming five minutes of my life where I yelled about how men have gaslit us into believing that they're the more powerful sex and how actually, they're usually half as competent as whichever woman is beside them at any given moment

Does @playpalia.com not realize that i spent real money on the game to get a pet (pal)cat and now half their latest quests require me to hunt wild palcats "Heyyyyy the missing bundle fish is now found by hunting more cats!" Ur breaking my heart fam 😭💔

I really think Ullmark needs to start scoring some goals here

Why are men vaguely considered to be the smarter sex when we all weep when we see a male Instacart shopper

Unrelated side note, I think my current intolerance for men comes from men being a bunch of insecure motherfuckers who hide their inner selves behind massive ego. And I have no spare energy in my life for the unknowns, so if I can't clock your inner self to be a positive existence in my life, shoo

I have been introduced to this horrible concept of dnf'ing an actual, physical book made of paper and I cannot believe That there are books out there That are published and make profits of actual money And contain shittier and weaker plots than my average saved ao3 longfic

I'd like to thank twitter for sending me too many suggested tweets in ten minutes, which finally prompted me to reset my password and delete my account But I also need everyone to see my banger of a final tweet that is no longer available

I don't normally endorse violent hockey but arber xhekaj i will repay you in permanent gratitude and undying local if you break r***o g***s knee

Tf do you mean that 60% of dts is boring people saying boring things and shitty team principals saying shit

Do you think elder tkachuk found out about all the horny queer freaks on the internet thirsting after him and realized that the easiest way to get rid of them was also the easiest way to make powerful buddies

The only thing I've got for us is that Hockey Canada deserved it for what they did to E.M.

Sam. Sam motherfucking Bennet. May cockroaches appear in your house, evolve to become bedbugs, morph to lice, and migrate to your crotch

My favourite blonde olympics commentator is being done so dirty by the studio lighting. But. Her flyaways are currently representing the feelings of the nation and if that isn't patriotic of her, I don't know what is

I keep forgetting that hockey canada was stupid enough to send mark stone to the olympics

Are all tech bros over the age of 17 fucking deaf or what

*takes deep breath* I will not argue with anonymous internet users who probably have never visited wikipedia articles for longer than the google advert paragraph

I have hit the part of the show where the adhd meds kick in and I start solving problems again. Amazing.

I am once again questioning why men think they're the superior sex when they can't even wrap their brains around loading dishwashers. U think u can learn diplomatic politics when you can't learn irl tetris. weak

"no bad blood between piastri and norris" bruh lmfao

Lando Norris, you're the farthest thing from looking like a loser for crying

IN CHARLES LECLERC I BELIEVE

In redbull's strategist we trust 👩🏽🤞🏻

Leclerc and Russell, I am begging you

I still can't believe that I've been forced to cheer for verstappen

LAWSON GET HIM

I truly have no faith in piastri's radio guy and the mclaren strategist but I do have faith in antonelli to do something unhinged but survive the pr disaster because of his cute little curls

"keeping building the gap to leclerc, it gives us, uh, choices" lmfao McLaren I'm begging you to qatar it

If McLaren fucks up by telling piastri to start using his tires, I will scream

Charles Leclerc playing Monaco minister of defence (their navy is yachts)

Piastri wins overtake of the month for that first lap masterclass, even if Norris is playing the long game with his tires

Adhd meds are wild. I got home from an xmas party at midnight. By 12:20, my face was washed and my makeup brushes were scrubbed clean for the first time in 5 ish years. The hell man

I once returned home from a 5wk trip home in the summer and it took me days to figure out that my male roommate had put my coffee thermos lids in with the pots and pans

Not me watching the vegas f1 race 24h later with a nice hot chocolate. Bless.

I'm just staring at DC's resume with his 5+ years of f1 (i can't math fast thx) and his 13 wins and like. I would, in fact, prefer that george russell retires with more wins but I would love commentator George in ten years

I'm pleased to announce that my f1 fan prep for vegas sprint weekend is complete because I've purchased new pots for my stress repotting habits

Does J*s V********n know how many esty witches are chanting in his direction every time he shows up on the broadcast?

Not Carlos Sainz dinging someone on the jump. Most aggro driver on the track, I swear

:( I love watching the schnoz replacement in f1 but I don't like watching Hamilton's schnoz get replaced from a contact in lap one :( :( :(

@ my etsy witch, I asked for MCLAREN to have issues in qualifying this weekend, not verstappen. tf

Tf did McLaren do to Piastri. They could've had Verstappen 2.0 but noooooo the only driver they sent off for therapy was clearly Norris. Dumb dumbs. (If you're going to implode your team from within like I've been asking all year, can u make it more dramatic and obvious)

There is no greater feeling than loading the f1 stream ten seconds before qualifying starts

Now that I've been watching F1 for all of seven months, I'd like to affirm my belief that Lewis Hamilton would be happier pairing with Nico Hülkenberg in a SAUBER than in his frickin Ferrari That said, I think part of the Ferrari contract that looked hot as hell to him was Ferrari fashion lol

"c'mon talibantonelli," I whisper, holding my coffee, while watching the last two laps of a replay of the 2025 são paulo grand prix

I checked the schedule and the Sao Paulo grand prix is at nine am!!!! I will have a treat tomorrow morning!!! I will be setting my alarm for 8:45, having my coffee and having a good time first thing in the morning!!!