Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things because of the imminence of WWIII but until then. Ya know. It’s p cool.

I don’t want to jinx it, and tomorrow will be the first real test, but I THINK we MIGHT have normalized this gremlin’s sleep schedule?????

Good morning

We had Olive Cafe tonight and since Bebo is a big fan of all things dip, she dipped her meat in the cucumber yogurt sauce. I really think she wanted to like it because she tried it three separate times, thought about it, made a face, and said no. How many kids keep trying something they don’t like?

babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes

At this point we are all more educated on foreign policy than any of these fucking dipshits in charge.

I don't hate Dem leadership as much as I hate GOP leadership but it shouldn't be this close.

I put down my new rug and rearranged the living room and Ryan and I are still together.

It’s already not “mama are you?” anymore. She says “where are you?” now and like, I’m glad she’s expanding her vocabulary constantly but also 😭😭😭

There is literally no incentive to eat when I can’t taste anything.

What amazes me is how quickly people are losing either the confidence or the willingness to complete basic human tasks.

Ya’ll. This child’s ability to sleep is genuinely incredible.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, we love @mrcrouton.bsky.social in this house. Uncle Crouton got his Bebo a KC Current shirt for Christmas. And of course brought us some pretzels. He is simply the best. Fun fact: I’m so congested I can’t even taste these! And I’m a spicy baby.

It’s 9:01pm you stupid fucking dipshits. Why are you shooting off fireworks?

Bebo loves these things. They are round, so calls them her balls, naturally. What’s fun is when she drops them, which is all the time, and she says “oh no! MY BALLS!”

A sick toddler can’t sleep TOO much, right? Asking for my 2 year old who has been asleep for 16 hours.

The universe really said: here, you can have 5 days in a row off work with no plans! But I’m going to fill your head and chest with so much mucus you will want to die. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Getting sick with whatever this cough is that makes it feel like I have strep and a 30 pound weight on my chest is just the perfect way to end this year.

My girl is always my snug bug but the last few days since she’s been sick she hasn’t been away from my side. I’ll never be sad about snuggles but I’m ready for her to start feeling better.

Vintage Philip with one L right there

One of my worst ADHD traits is constantly needing to rearrange X because it will solve EVERYTHING. Would my time be better spent doing literally anything else? Yes. Am I going to hyper focus on rearranging Ophelia’s room instead? YEP.

Really glad this kid doesn’t get sick often because I just tried to give her a teensy bit of Benadryl and she slapped that little medicine cup right outta my hand.

Ugh. My baby is sick. Like for only the second time in her entire 2.25 years of life is actually sick. I’m not a fan.

I got a new rug for the living room and started talking excitedly about maybe rearranging the furniture and Ryan immediately went upstairs.

Obsessed with my new hand carved skull pearl and rose ring. Literal perfection!! (Ring by Belle Juri)

Christmas number 3 tonight had her like

Beeb’s grandma made her a quilt. She spent an entire year making this. And it’s incredible.

If Taco Bell gives you explosive diarrhea that’s a personal problem and doesn’t need to be interjected Into every single conversation regarding a menu item at Taco Bell. Let people enjoy things without being gross. Why do we still game to say these things?

Beebs hasn’t felt great this week and has been super congested. Finally spiked a fever last night but refused to take anything. She woke up at 6:30am on fire. Drank a bunch of water. Finally took some Motrin. Ate half a banana. And went back to sleep. It’s now 1pm and she’s still asleep.

No, she does not have an attitude. She’s a 2 year old who doesn’t feel well at 4:30pm when she hasn’t had a nap all day. You’re a 70+ year old man who DID take a nap and have still been rude and ungrateful for hours.

SANTA WUZ HERE 🎅🏻🎅🏻🎅🏻

Oh. I also made this.

BBE (Big Bebo Energy)

I’ve wrapped exactly 0 Christmas presents and apparently my feral child took an almost FIVE FUCKING HOUR NAP. So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice?

Daycare closed at 12:30 today, which is usually naptime. She naps great at school, but is a goblin at home, so I checked in. Me: Is she sleeping? Ryan:

I was today years old when I found out this emoji 🫂 is NOT a video camera.

James Ransone 🙁

I have so much shit I need to do today but I’m just sitting in this recliner not moving instead

How am I leaving 2025? More heavily medicated than most people on long-term stays in a psych hospital. Thanks for asking.

If I take a turn a little too fast when we’re in the car this 2 year old says “oh! be careful, mama.” 🤨😑

This entire weekend

I’ve resigned the season. And it’s fine. But I have never wanted to beat the fuck out of a team more than I want to skull fuck the chargers right now.

Oh you’re not going to let him knock the fuck out of a fourth player? You sure?

Made my manager cry during my annual performance review today.

I usually think she looks like Ryan but I guess a little like bb me?

Listen I would love to be optimistic that releasing the files will have real actual consequences but unfortunately I’ve been conscious for the last decade when one thing after another was labeled “THE THING THAT WILL BRING HIM DOWN” and he has been elected president not once but TWICE. So.

Can anyone explain to me why anyone we encounter in public thinks my daughter is a boy????

I don’t feel like enough of you saw this.

But…they were like 90% of the way…to the finish line?????????