lol it’s 55 degrees in our house

lol our furnace isn’t working

Literally how is Walgreens still a thing they are the worsttttttttt fucking pharmacy. I still have 2 meds that haven’t been transferred and I want to scream. 20 fucking minutes to serve 4 cars.

Yeah, that's great. Anyway: they're murdering people on the streets and disappearing five year old children from their families so maybe read the fucking room you useless dipshits. bsky.app/profile/demo...

It’s almost like everything Blake Lively said about this guy was true and he’s even worse than she made him seem

reminder that mister rogers says it is our duty to go beast mode

It’s always a little jarring to hear your words coming out of a tiny human’s mouth even when it’s not something inappropriate. I was giving her kisses and she said “okay okay, that’s enough.”

When Ophelia tells you to sit down, you sit down.

Ridin’ dirty

I usually just let my hair completely air dry but I busted out the blow dryer/diffuser today so maybe people will stop telling me I don’t have curly hair?

The aftermath

We had breakfast for dinner and this child ate 5 and a half sausage links and a spoonful of grape jelly.

It would be cool if ANY OF THIS SHIT ACTUALLY SEEMED TO MATTER

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live with a 2 year old

Whenever I see RFK Jr speak this is all I see.

Can’t even go to the bathroom by myself to throw up. Love it here.

Having zero outside help with my child might be the thing that finally sends me off the cliff.

Chopsticks with Bebo

We can go ahead and fuck KCPD while we’re at it. What a bunch of fucking losers.

PUBLIC STATEMENT Regarding KCPD's disruption of our weekly meal share on 1/4/2026

To quote Biggie, “If you don’t know, now you know.”

Ya’ll. Bebo is getting glasses.

Where can I go for a quick vehicle inspection on the Missouri side?

Reminder that Bebo was the CUTEST baby to ever exist

I think it would be good for me to drink more tea, so I just put a teabag in my latte. For my health.

“Look! It’s a chicken ball for Babo.”

My episode of Snapped is going to begin with an iPhone screen and a text message that says “what do you want to do for dinner”

Oh no, it’s not lip filler. All of the skin around my mouth is so chapped and red so that’s why they look bigger.

Dropped my child off at daycare with her pants pushed up to her knees, without a jacket, or a nap blanket, with her curls out in full force, every which way. Same as it ever was.

🎶 I can’t feel my face when I’m with youuuuu 🎶 But instead of an ode to cocaine in the bathroom of a club in between blowing lines, it’s an ode to Sudafed in the shower of my own bathroom in between blowing snot rockets.

Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things because of the imminence of WWIII but until then. Ya know. It’s p cool.

I don’t want to jinx it, and tomorrow will be the first real test, but I THINK we MIGHT have normalized this gremlin’s sleep schedule?????

Good morning

We had Olive Cafe tonight and since Bebo is a big fan of all things dip, she dipped her meat in the cucumber yogurt sauce. I really think she wanted to like it because she tried it three separate times, thought about it, made a face, and said no. How many kids keep trying something they don’t like?

babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes

At this point we are all more educated on foreign policy than any of these fucking dipshits in charge.

I don't hate Dem leadership as much as I hate GOP leadership but it shouldn't be this close.

I put down my new rug and rearranged the living room and Ryan and I are still together.

It’s already not “mama are you?” anymore. She says “where are you?” now and like, I’m glad she’s expanding her vocabulary constantly but also 😭😭😭

There is literally no incentive to eat when I can’t taste anything.

What amazes me is how quickly people are losing either the confidence or the willingness to complete basic human tasks.

Ya’ll. This child’s ability to sleep is genuinely incredible.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, we love @mrcrouton.bsky.social in this house. Uncle Crouton got his Bebo a KC Current shirt for Christmas. And of course brought us some pretzels. He is simply the best. Fun fact: I’m so congested I can’t even taste these! And I’m a spicy baby.

It’s 9:01pm you stupid fucking dipshits. Why are you shooting off fireworks?

Bebo loves these things. They are round, so calls them her balls, naturally. What’s fun is when she drops them, which is all the time, and she says “oh no! MY BALLS!”

A sick toddler can’t sleep TOO much, right? Asking for my 2 year old who has been asleep for 16 hours.

The universe really said: here, you can have 5 days in a row off work with no plans! But I’m going to fill your head and chest with so much mucus you will want to die. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Getting sick with whatever this cough is that makes it feel like I have strep and a 30 pound weight on my chest is just the perfect way to end this year.

My girl is always my snug bug but the last few days since she’s been sick she hasn’t been away from my side. I’ll never be sad about snuggles but I’m ready for her to start feeling better.

Vintage Philip with one L right there