must’ve been pulled straight out of the purple pedo pup’s playbook

Nothing to see here. The water isn’t boiling quite yet, but it’s certainly starting to simmer… most of the frogs still haven’t noticed. Starting Tuesday, US passports that have gender markers other than Male or Female will no longer be considered valid and will be rejected by customs agents.

Fuck this marathon. Literally cannot crossover Broadway because of this stupidity. Go run some laps around Grant and Millennium instead of shutting down an entire city just to rub your nipples raw.

Being treated well feels weird when I’m used to a guy who told me to slit my throat and that I’m a fat, limp dick, cuck. Lost my keys last night. This man went looking for them on the river walk this morning. Somehow that triggers alarm bells in my mind. Why do I want an emotionally abusive guy? 😩

Oh boy what a day

If there's one thing I'm really fuckin' good at, it's getting back up.

Pretty sure the monologue would be something like: "I fuckin' told you! I told all of you dumbass, mass media consuming, cocksuckers what was coming! And what did you do? Sat on your fat asses, jerkin' yourselves off and waiting for someone to rescue America. Well guess what... nobody is going to!"

Flossing is like my daily three minute gum massage at this point. A moment of self care zen or something like that. I've actually started to enjoy it and hit a 90 day streak today. I'm letting myself acknowledge and celebrate the little personal wins that may seem insignificant to everyone else.

They are literally canceling culture

Watching Keir Starmer stumble through a response to a question about Kimmel is surreal. Admittedly the man is having to do some high wire political/PR gymnastics to stroke Trump’s ego while simultaneously appearing to have not completely abandoned core democratic principles. Kafka would be proud.

3 years ago I sat on our couch next to my (then straight-acting, politically centrist) boyfriend (now ex) and told him this day would come if Trump regained power. He told me I was being hysterical, buying into cable news drama. Can’t help but wonder what the new flamboyant Cole is thinking now… 🤔

Antifa lacks real structure; there is no list of card carrying Antifa members. Anyone who crosses/protests Trump can easily get labeled as an Antifa terrorist, and there is no way to prove you’re not. On the next episode of “Democracy Dies”: piss off your GOP neighbors? Reported as Antifa.

Hate to say it, but this is how we regain control of the House, Senate, and White House (assuming a fair election ever happens again). Voters focus on the economy; identity politics will ultimately destroy the Democratic Party. Translation: as James Carville said, “It’s the economy, stupid!”

What is it with Boystown gays being the stupidest cunts on the face of the earth? Getting coffee at Lanzaga this morning and overheard someone behind me (in booty shorts and a midriff tank) loudly lisp/fake whisper to his friend that having a camo Yeti cup means someone “probably supports Trump”.

Thank you USPS for not bending and destroying this pristine piece of advertising/marketing history! And, now for a trip to the frame shop 😁

Huh… almost like I’ve been advised by my lawyer to not directly communicate with the guy who publicly declared me to be the next Pulse Club shooter while she prepares to sue the shit out of him and his little non-profit org… imagine that… who would’ve thunk it…

Sure ya can! There’s plenty of things you can post about without me calling you out. That being said, defending supporters and enablers of pedophiles isn’t one of them 🤷🏼‍♂️

Boy, lemme tell you what else Mike, Marky Mark, and their Funky Bunch support… Talking about bike lanes is an interesting marketing strategy to get people to forget they’ve got a convicted statutory rapist on staff slinging drinks and groomers using their bars as hunting grounds.

If the DNC actually nominates this fool in 2028, we really do deserve to get walloped by electoral math (yet again…)

Maybe, if she hadn’t prioritized her ego and her sex life over being ethically unencumbered, we’d have had a different outcome. But Fani had to make it all about her and had to sleep with someone involved in the case. Then again she’s a prosecutor, we shouldn’t be surprised she’s just a big ego.

Love to see it! His attorney got Diddy (mostly) off scot free; if she managed that lawyering miracle, Karen Friedman Agnifilo can surely manage to pull off an acquittal/jury nullification for someone as charismatic, charming, and sympathetic as Luigi.

If you think this is boring, and it doesn’t inspire manic laughter/joy, I honestly feel bad for you. I love the CTA because I don’t have to hunt for parking. But the CTA soundtrack of “heyyyy gurrrrrrllll” [on speaker phone] and mumble rap [sans headphones] ain’t got shit on a good exhaust crackle.

Actually tho… is there anyone/anything Daniel doesn’t have beef with? The gate keeping of how to be gay is mind boggling. Can’t drink certain beers and be a proper gay, can’t go to certain shows/events and be a proper gay, can’t fight pedophilia within the queer kink community and be a proper gay.

You and me both, sister. You and me both…

ADHD is going to find Meijer’s vendor portal, starting to type the url, having a link from your history about "Miele vacuum cleaners" auto populate the search bar, saying to yourself "oh yeah I need a vacuum that won't damage my wool rugs", going to Amazon to buy the vacuum…

Today’s coffee post is a flashback to these very cheeky mugs “super volunteers” were given during the 2012 re-elect. Did I get paid for any of my work? No. But I did get tons of tchotchkes, a near endless supply of Panera box lunches, and a pic with Obama that will always remind me of my fat days ☕️

Wild. Having lived in Dearborn for several years, I never would’ve thought they’d demolish the glass house. This makes me think the Ren Cen’s days are numbered too.

You mean just like how your friends use alts to screenshot my posts? Stuffing for the goose is stuffing for the gander, buddy 🪿

Maybe your friends shouldn’t have spent the past two and a half years relentlessly harassing me? Just some food for thought…

Might I suggest familiarizing yourself with the 13th Amendment? I am okay with lowering the fine if it actually would be enforced at all. Let’s not play dumb and act as if most CTA customers don’t see hoodrats jumping turnstiles every single day. Court fees exist to recoup collection costs.

I mean what’s a little espresso when you’re a professional meth head? Proud Mary keep on burnin’… 🔮 💎 🧊 🤷🏼‍♂️

Annnnd we’re back to hockey shit talking. It’s gonna be a great day 🏒😁🏒

Translation: “someone disagreeing with my personal political viewpoints, even slightly, makes them literally Hitler.” I just can’t with these people 🤦‍♂️

Here’s a novel idea… arrest the hoodlums who jump the turnstiles, fine them heavily ($250 minimum per incident), relentlessly pursue collection of those monetary fines by garnishing wages and/or selling hoodlum hard labor at market rate, and then reinvest those collected fines into the system.

Getting a proper (albeit late) start to the morning.

TIL posting edgy hot takes that make freshman with teal hair sitting in 100-level gender studies courses murmur “wow this is so deep” is how I can go about making myself appear more well adjusted to gay Bluesky… If that’s the case, I’m more than happy to pass on being declared sane by gay Bluesky 🤷‍♂️

Reposting since there seems to be interest in unearthing the dramatic story of how I went from working as a file clerk and paralegal at a large law firm to being a “cat food salesperson” (more accurately leading all grocery/natural specialty channel sales for a leading pet food company). 🐱🍣🥩🐶

Uh huh… because that’s totally what I would do if any of my friends had a legitimate stalker… deliberately antagonize the person stalking them… 🤔🤨🧐 Interesting what methamphetamine does to the brain and one’s ability to logically think… 🔮💎🧊🤦‍♂️

When the guy you’re dating is a fellow hockey nut who also enjoys “alternative lifestyle” activities 🏒🪢🥰 22 days until #hockey

To those who have reached out via Telegram, Bluesky DMs, Grindr, and even Recon to share reassurances that others have seen disturbing behaviors exhibited by “Skyler” (Gabe Revells) and his enablers: THANK YOU! (And yes, he is tacky!) Being doxxed has been tiring, but this is a worthwhile fight!

This defines so many gays on Bluesky and good god is it annoying!

Just reread David Foster Wallace’s “Big Red Son” essay in Consider the Lobster. It discusses his experience attending the 15th annual AVN awards (Oscars for porn). Given current events in my life and the cast of characters I’m dealing with, I couldn’t help but draw some pretty hilarious parallels 🤣

It’s almost like cyclists are inconsiderate dipshits who think they’re immune to the laws of physics and exempt from traffic lights and stop signs 🤔

Somebody’s getting absolutely hammered tonight 🍷🔨

When your Paramount+ and chill date has a twisted sense of ironic humor 😑

Seeing CPD actually pull over an idiot with a massive Mexican flag sticking out of his sunroof on Lake Shore makes me so happy. I’m all for celebrating. Just please do so in a manner that doesn’t endanger everyone else on the road by obnoxiously obstructing visibility for other drivers.

[storing a grocery store plastic bag under the kitchen sink for later] Huh, this is a good plastic bag.

🤔 🧐 🤨 Maybe not anymore, but you certainly did a week ago, StatutorySkyler/GroomerGabe (@puppskyler.dog) Congratulations on having the intelligence to deactivate your PedoProfile™️ once the Illinois Liquor Control Commission got word of what you and Marky Mark’s Funky Bunch are up to at Jackhammer

Commenting on your own posts with your alt account to drive engagement just has so much sad “please clap” energy, RegimePup/RegimeCPA 😂

If only there weren’t screenshots of your friend, Statutory Skyler/Groomer Gabe, offering to “break barely legal boys” and openly professing “Legal is legal. Your morals aren’t mine.” 🤔