This reminds me that I could've had an Instant Pot purchased by Ian Miles Cheong. Not a regret that I don't have it. Just saying what could have been.

being mean to AI is like when jesus cursed that fig tree

sometimes you look through old sketchbooks and find out you were cooking

look at this guy

lmao

This was Elon just three years ago? Damn, he's falling apart.

find contentment in living simply. then no one can buy your soul.

I'm so thankful my wife is vegetarian. Cooking chicken sounds like such a pain in the ass.

I finally understand what "rizz" means, and now I find out that there's a Rizzler? jfc

i thought this was Bill Maher with a filter

I want to see one of those "Gen Z reacts..." videos where they show zoomers Breillat's "Anatomy of Hell".

remember when Trump disappeared for like a week? It would have been hilarious if he had done that starting today

im taking a shit like someone 10 IQ points dumber than me

All of these side-by-side headshots have made me think, "Wow, his head and the features on it really did look like that."

im annoyed that y'all made me look up what will stancil looks like

my physics teacher believed that the school was run by "a coven of lesbians"

okay, this game really delivers on cute bugs

I was working on a client once while listening to a comedy podcast that had Matt Walsh of UCB on as a guest, and my client asks me, "Isn't Matt Walsh a bad guy?" I'd be so pissed off if I were comedy Matt Walsh.

a podcaster ending up in Valhalla is really funny. like he's going to get shot in the neck every day until Ragnarök, don't send him there!

i like the grubs and the grubdad

i have no idea what hollow knight is about, but now I see it has cute bugs, so I guess I'll play it

i swear to god, you don't need to "know the memes", beyond recognizing it as deranged online sociopathy.

I was 5'9" before transition, and I'm still 5'9" after transition. At no time did it seem particularly short for a man or particularly tall for a woman, and yet I constantly read social-media posts how this is a particularly unfortunate height to be.

I spent a decade refusing to learn what a groyper is. You can't make me learn now.

dear Bluesky mods: "rest in piss" is not an unambiguously negative phrase. a lot of your userbase is really hot for piss

I think it's really disrespectful to witches for Jezebel to hire a bunch of them to kill Charlie Kirk, and then to denounce what Jezebel just paid them to do.

RFK Jr, upon hearing that Hitler had just one testicle.

"lazy Luddites" Luddites, the people who wanted to work so bad that they got violent, are pretty much the opposite of lazy.

Found outside my apartment: an empty bottle of vodka and the cast of Big Trouble in Little China

her favorite toy is "chair"

the outside-wanters

I do not trust the Abundance people. The me of 20 years ago would have been fully on board, but the past two decades have radicalized me.

I've never played Balatro, but I bet you could make a lot of money selling a pack of Bicycles with a bunch of stickers and calling it Legacy Poker.

I just found out who Aella is by listening to her interview on PJ Vogt's podcast. Aella gives off big Caltech vibes, for better or worse.

i won the powerball

He still looks like shit.

When Nate Silver was first becoming famous, I used his March Madness predictions in the office March Madness game, and I won $200 and an Anthem Blue Cross duffel bag, so I do feel like I owe him something.

a man with the name Button signed the declaration of independence. nothing wrong with a judge named Sparkle

video from earlier today shows trump healthy and hale, giving directions to lost little boys. nice try

my therapist got a garfield tattoo

probably my favorite trump photo. hypnagogic dream imagery

praying for my president 😏🙏

I don't know what the context is here, but I'm always tickled when elderly people call rich people out on their bullshit.

periodically I get a text from my husband containing one of the funniest images I have ever seen in my life, such as this one

The outline that the "Cracker Barrel" is in, what sort of shape is that supposed to be? A butter bean?

This mesquite powder is really tasty if you use it like you would hot chocolate powder. Better, even.

Maybe I don't understand the finances of it, but if I got $200K/yr and we're constantly being photographed, I would like fuckin sharp. What's holding politicians back?