Uhmmmmm, ‘cause it’s hot.

I’ve got a massive splinter in my hand from that shitty axe. Today I write my will, tomorrow you’ll see my obituary.

maybe she’s born with it , maybe it’s her dad’s fault .

wanna shotgun with me? 😈

|| 𝑆𝑎𝑚 Stardew Valley Roleplay. Mature Content | MDNI Open for descriptive storylines and banter. OC/Crossover friendly. Canon/Independent Portrayal. #Reckless

boo, I thought we were getting along. well, let’s get cooking, bookie.

You want the honest lore drop or just, like, some basic answer that doesn’t have any substantial weight to it. Because I have answers ready for both.

ummmm, hello?? Look at my arms! look at my baby smooth hands! I can plant maybe three seeds before I’m ready to pass out! I’m just a girl, Sebastian. I haven’t done farm work since I was like, I dunno, fourteen? thats a whole decade B-T-Dubs.

some of the moms here are kinda … 🫣

we’re going, we’re going — maybe I’ll find some sick ass flowers to take home and eat like a horse until I have money for food.

the gods CANNOT stop me.

I don’t lace my shit. and I’m sure as hell not sleep deprived to that point. Maybe they just like pretty pink baddies more than anyone else.

no way you’re trying to tell me I’m seeing shit. I’m bonkers but not THAT bonkers.

that place is, like, infested with little creature feature dudes. you think they’re chill like that?

since townsfolk don’t seem to like digging through the trash ( which warrants fruitful discoveries sometimes ), Eli’s watching a raccoon dig through the cans from a distance. “ man, I’m so smart. and now I only smell like sweat instead of trash can juice. ”

What's wrong with running away from reality if it sucks .ᐣ.ᐟ

𝔗𝔯𝔞𝔣𝔞𝔩𝔤𝔞𝔯 𝔇. 𝔚𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔏𝔞𝔴

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀you were 𝐥ost & 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳, ⠀⠀⠀⠀𝖔h 𝖒y 𝖉arling, 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞. ⠀

dead from the neck up, but living just enough to beg you, "pretty boy, please let me die."

/ sometimes I think about Eli and their southern twang mixed with a French accent bc she’s so silly

had Eli been paying attention, she probably wouldn’t have fallen over immediately from lack of balance.

smacking the back of their axe atop of a stump. dangerous? potentially. enraged behavior? most definitely. be cautious.

/ thinking about ALLLLLL of Eli’s piercings. 🤩

Oh I'm going to hell for /sure/.

“ absolutely perfect, actually. I couldn’t be any better after today. got any more of those kisses in stock? I think my boo-boo could use one. ” tipping a hat that isn’t there stop her own head, Elizabeth’s grin is wide. maybe it’d be pretty if the words coming out of her mouth weren’t ridiculous.

you’d be surprised the shit I’d do for just a Klondike bar. or twenty dollars. you know? or maybe you don’t — you’re kinda nonchalant with it.

okay, okAY, I’m shutting up. Locking it up and throwing away the key. just smoke with me, man.

excessive clapping! truly the best performance she’s seen yet in this boring, boring valley. “ thank you, eye candy! ” more whistling to ensure he knows her feelings on it.

a palm pushes bangs back and Eli winks like those dumb male leads that always attempt suaveness. “ a beautiful babe with a kind heart .. surely you must be an angel from above. ”

never me, baby girl. you got the wrong fine ass bitch in your head.

some would argue that I’ve already marred it. Tattoos, piercings, uhhh, probably other shit. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a cigarette burn somewhere!

a gorgeous chick blew a kiss — how could anyone survive that attack??

I’m all about weird, emo boy.

grips at her shirt and falls to their knees dramatically.

shameless behavior!! but she’s equally as shameless. can he tell the cat calling is meant for the gun show he’s displaying?

/ gonna add more to Eli’s pinned later but they’re a farmer in the verse teehee

woah, hotty alert! don’t mind their staring while awaiting a peek of tummy.

nah, I want to have sick burn scars so I look like some twisted cherry blossom tree.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ℬOႸᦓ⠀ D𖦹𝓝'𝑇⠀ 𝓒rꪗ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀————-———— ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #sdvrp | #mvrp | #sfwrp

god, did I ever tell you how much I love that you tolerate me only for what I can give and not because you actually like me?

and for my next magic trick, this fork into an electrical outlet —