A huge "Fuck ICE" chant broke out at a pro wrestling event this week. The ref let it build for almost 30sec before starting the match, while one of the wrestlers spiked the camera. These midterms are going to be unlike anything ever seen in modern American history.

Today I saw ICE gas little white kids in the streets of Portland with chemical weapons. Imagine what they're doing to brown and black kids in the detention camps

Expecting a nationwide general strike in a country without unions is dumb. There I said it.

I'm definitely not saying bread & butter is as good as a steak. But like...have you had bread & butter?

Hi. My name is Matt, and I'm an addict. Every time I see a Blue MAGA lib bragging about how "Kamala isn't done", I can't stop myself from screaming about how they actively support fascism.

Gen Z has fully embraced & brought back mustaches & mullets. That's fine, whatever. The part I really hate to admit is that hipsters liked those things before they were cool.

Is Indiana University pulling a bunch of dangerous Zionist bullshit? Hell yeah they are. Should anyone care what Mark Cuban has to say about literally anything? Fuck no.

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

It's been a while since I tried to run around with my dogs until both of them were exhausted, & with the big Four-O only 2 weeks away, I've only got one thing to say.

The chaos of Bush stealing the 2000 election is what allowed 9/11 to happen. Every Republican currently on the Supreme Court was directly involved. Never forget Republicans are responsible for 9/11.

If marriage supposedly makes 2 people 1, then a married couple 69ing should be called The Ouroboros. Happy Labor Day

FYI Re Abrego Garcia: Lots of hogs & internet trolls are saying he had a deportation order in 2019. The truth is literally the opposite. In 2019, the court said that he was legally allowed to stay. He has NEVER had a deportation order. He's never been convicted of any crime. It's all illegal.

God damn it. I've always hated Trump. But I never thought I'd be forced to defend John fucking Bolton...

The fact that horrible, corrupt Gavin Newsom might be the fucking savior of democracy says everything about how far this country has fallen.

Don't be sad that Focus on the Family's James Dobson plagued the earth for 89 years. Be happy he lived long enough to suffer.

One day everyone will have always been against this. Everyone's lost family members to MAGA, but this is the reason I try to stay civil with those that aren't super crazy. Eventually a lot of them are going to wake up and realize they don't want to be Nazis anymore, & they're going to need help.

My favorite thing to tell people who are either genocidal (pro-Israel) or fascist (pro-Trump) is that in 10 years they will ALL pretend like they were against it the whole time, just like the Nazis did afterward. They laugh now, but hopefully they'll remember my face calling them a POS forever.

I told Andrew Cuomo that the entire country hates him, he's a disgusting predator, & he should go die in obscurity. Twitter banned me for a week. My only regret? They had me delete the tweet before telling me I was banned either way.

The hero we need See a Nazi, punch a Nazi.

The man who "created" Fritos actually bought the recipe from a Mexican woman for only $100, which is a travesty. But a few years later his company created Doritos, so I think we can all agree he more than made up for his wrongdoing.

Serious question: Is the new Superman movie ACTUALLY good? I personally find the whole Superman franchise incredibly boring. I'm happy to see this one if it's different, but otherwise I'll just be happy it's making MAGA angry.

I just pulled a pan out of the oven and proceeded to take OFF my oven mitt to grab the metal thermometer with my bare hand. On an unrelated note, I train people to operate extremely delicate, multi-million dollar equipment for a living.

The Uber Mensch, if you will

"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"Paint me like one of your country girls"

Dear Bluesky, I am sure many people care deeply about the death of George Whatever. I am not one of them. Please adjust your algorithm accordingly. Thank you

All these people feeling bad for Biden are driving me crazy. He's a fucking war criminal. He's personally responsible for COUNTLESS Palestinian murders and for giving us Trump again. *Literally* every bill he ever touched was worse because he was involved. History will remember him as a monster.

Everyone agrees the world would be a much better place if someone had 86'd Hitler early on. That's all I'm saying.

What we say trucks are for vs what trucks are usually for...

Cancer cells have a right to defend themselves.

I'm against the death penalty, but there are some cases that make it really hard.

The reason ICE agents wear masks is the same reason why members of the KKK wear masks.

It's 3AM & I'm making big, greasy double cheeseburgers, because this is 'Merica! For real though, it really is 3AM & I'm making big ass juicy burgers for wifey & I. Just because I'm hungry & it feels good to do something silly. 😅

If you wake up in the same spot you woke up, your average velocity was zero. Technically speaking, you're going nowhere.

The fascist rag NYT won 4 Pulitzers, but nobody is talking about the biggest story. The assassination attempt photo catches the bullet mid-flight & is definitive proof that Trump did NOT get hit by the bullet. The bullet is behind him, & his ear is unharmed. It's literally impossible that it hit.

When did we stop just punching these racist POSs in the face? People have gotten far too comfortable yelling slurs and not immediately getting popped in the mouth.

Today my wife & I trimmed our bushes, then she blew for an hour while I was edging. We did it all on the front lawn with the church crowd driving by, & there's nothing they could do to stop us.

Reminder that Corey Booker is NOT the choice for 2028. His 25 hour filibuster was important, but purely performative. He just voted in ANOTHER Trump nominee. Performative acts are important too, but voting record is what actually matters.

Everybody who just learned they have an antibiotic-resistant bacterial infection... Throw your hands up! EDIT: It turns out this is a very small group who, for whatever reason, doesn't really want to party. 😕

Doctor says my O2 saturation is "concerning low" at 93%. I assured him it's much higher than during my sleep test when it dropped to 72%. For some reason, he was not impressed. Not everybody gets an A+ at everything. Chill out bro.

And we plough through yet another threshold to all-out fascism with literally zero opposition... www.axios.com/2025/04/25/f...

When I say you don’t have to worry about microplastics in your brain I mean that there is much stronger evidence that you should be worrying about other things that you don’t ever think about, like the draining of peatlands for agriculture, and things that you think about all the time, like fascism.

Chag Pesach Sameach to everyone except Zionists.

Just FYI: If you've got a cold & your bari-bass voice turns into a full on double bass, your wife won't care that you can do the "movie trailer guy" voice an entire octave lower. I'm sure that interrupting the movie every 30 seconds to do the voice is totally unrelated...

What's weirder? A sasquatch walking into town, or a sasquatch walking into town with a hat on?

The problem with most machine-based random number generators is that they’re not TRULY random, so if you need genuine randomness it is sometimes necessary to link your code to an external random process like a physical noise source or the current rate of US tariffs on a given country.

As if you didn't have enough to worry about already, here's a reminder that the extended chaos & Republican BS that ended in the Supreme Court stealing the 2000 election has been shown to be what allowed 9/11 to happen.

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." -Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1953