Don’t lose hope. All these billionaires desperately trying to be cool are signs that bullying works. Keep hating.

Stardust travelled billions of light years to slowly form into this planet that allowed a single cell to evolve into intelligent beings just so I can hit the repeat button on “How Many Licks” by Lil’ Kim.

News: “Hitler had a micropenis.” Me: “Got him.”

Don’t make fun of Stephen Miller’s height. The jokes will go over his head.

AI is gonna make things easier? Bitch, they can’t even make a dishwasher that releases the soap half the time.

Nothing shows weakness more than gathering a bunch of people to talk about how strong you are. It would be more respectful to walk into a glass door.

Currently reading the ingredients of Tylenol. Did you know that it doesn’t contain the Epstein files?

The dumbest men are trying to find the source of autism instead of taking a long walk and never coming back.

On the general topic of comedy, these show lineups have been looking mighty white lately.

Good time to be a mean bitch to Nazis.

They always meant hate speech when they said they wanted to protect free speech. They always meant they wanted to say hateful things and get away with their cruelty. They’ve always been pro-authoritarian. White supremacists will always choose suffering over freedom.

If you went back in time and told me that the most forgettable character on NewsRadio would be one of the harbingers of an authoritarian regime, I would’ve said, “You time traveled to tell me that? Dude, I work at Staples.”

Pretty crazy to see the government silence white men.

Food is unaffordable, job market is scarce and homelessness is spiking…but we’re still trying to figure out if this is a recession? Baby girl, this is a recession squared. This is a recession wearing another recession as a human skin suit. This makes 2008 look like the Vengabus.

It’s wild that there’s a vast market of podcasts for right wing extremism while I’m over here listening to Katseye on repeat.

Losing so many innocent lives that we can only focus on the loss of the evil ones.

FYI, I will be celebrating the death of every white nationalist. And if that makes me a bad person, so be it. Alexa play Living La Vida Loca.

My first GRWM.

If you’re already arguing about the next election, I recommend you take a deep breath and walk away. Some of y’all are so willing to die on a hill that you don’t realize it’s just a pebble.

Living in LA is crazy. You think you’re meeting someone new, but you’ve met many times and they’ve been standing next to you for years.

Your religion isn’t anti-gay. You are. Ugly bitch. And you smell like onions.

This is the dictatorship part. You don’t have to wait for an election. It’s the doing whatever he wants, that’s what makes him a dictator. Y’all are waiting to solve a problem that is already here.

I don’t think Trump supporters are in a cult. They genuinely voted for a leader that they can relate to. It’s not their fault that they happen to be butt ugly pedophiles.

People that stop a football field away at a red light: What’s going on? Is your car shy? Are you allergic to red lights? Do you need a head start? Please explain.

They’re trying to start civil war? Bitch, this is a civil war. You’re just not fighting back.

There’s a Tesla Diner in Los Angeles. This is great news for me, a person that loves to honk and cuss people out.

The meaning of life is to live until you die. Duh.

Please understand the amount of mental labor it took to set aside all my anxieties about the dire state of world that plays in a constant loop on my mind to post the following…

Oh no, not the wealthy wanting to move. What will we ever do?! Good job reporting a dog whistle by racists as news.

Just be racist, cowards. What is this anti-woke and anti-DEI nonsense? Stand on business, weirdos. I know you’re racist. You know you’re racist. But you’re to scared to say anything, and it’s not just because of repercussions.

Pretty sure we can start using “unprecedented” when good things happen.

You like free jokes? Check out my Anti Drake Special filmed in Toronto the night after the Kendrick concert: youtu.be/0mwzW20Rneo?...

Boggles my mind when people try to make immigrants out to be savages when we eat with our hands. So you’re eating BBQ ribs with a fork, you goober ass goober? You bring that silverware out for French fries, you knobby kneed ankle chicken?

I will always respect potheads. I was never able to smoke weed and then do a second thing.

Wait, you’re telling me the worst possible person couldn’t win a mayoral primary with all the money in the world. Are we in the same timeline?! Fuck yeah, Mamdani!

I know we’re stressed about WW3 but at least our democratic leaders are…making sure that a known predator becomes mayor of New York?

Is the world better off with Iran having a real life Jurassic Park or not

Being tall has many advantages. For example, your lifespan is shorter and therefore less time on this god forsaken planet.

Make a crunch wrap at home? Baby girl, those things are summoned. It’s like no one appreciates the bounty of the beast anymore.

Oh, it’s men’s mental health awareness month and not pride month? Cool. Go to fucking therapy or shut the fuck up.

Again, before y’all get distracted. Peter Thiel is the real mastermind of evil.

Imagine being able to solve world hunger but instead you’re doing lethal amounts of ketamine and yelling at a goblin king.

I hope they both lose this fight.

We need to give Peter Thiel the same “get the fuck out” energy we gave Elon. That man makes Elon look like a Boy Scout in a k-hole. He is insidious and we need to bring that vampire into the light.

Gonna wish y’all a Pride. It don’t need to be happy. Be mad as hell, girl. Key a car. Terrorize a homophobe. Be the gay bully you’re meant to be. This is the year to do it. Throw a brick for me.

It’s always “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” and never “what did the baby do to the bath water?”

You can tell it’s almost summer when victim blaming of black women starts trending. Tbh none of you should be allowed on the internet until you can convince a council of black women that you’re a good person.

So many of you are desperate to be the main character, you’re missing out on the better opportunity of being some bitch. I’m living my best life being a hater in the background.

Of course gender is a social construct. And if you disagree, have you considered deez nuts?

The best things in life are free. Especially if you’re good at stealing.