“You will own nothing (because your shit will be stolen over and over into oblivion & all will collapse & you will throw your hands up in surrender and wander off into the wilderness & eat wild mushrooms and grubs & you will gather in small groups in arrays of mud huts) and you will be happy.”

He should have named her Dotta

Is this world ready for how weirdly horny people are going to be for Ringo Starr next year?

All of Kitchen Nightmares is on YouTube, and I’ve spent so much time drawing with these roaring ogres and their STUNNING, double-mortgaged sisters playing in the background this winter that I’ve developed a Long Island accent.

YALL WATCHING PLARBIS

Yes me crying my very eyeballs out at the end of Face/Off. have you SEEEEEN this movie lately?

Here’s my impression of a lighter in movie. SHPLIIFNK FVVIIEEPF

DEVO has always been right about everything.

In 2026 I’m going to join any circle I see and BLAST triplets. I think the world needs more YA-TA-TA YA-TA-TA YA-TA-TA TA!

One really neato thing about the internet is when I buy a gift for my partner and then getting countless ads for that thing and knowing that she’s getting them too and wondering if she’s like AHA! MY GIFT! or if she’s going to be like “oh neat I should get this”

Do all AMC theaters show a HALF HOUR of commercials and trailers? Went to a 1:15 movie and ads screamed in my face until 1:45. I hated it so much.

Osiris has FIVE film production company title cards in the beginning. I’m going to like this movie.

Oh cool. They’re rebooting Vine?

Just realized that saying “let me be frank” or “frankly…” is the same thing as “keeping it 100” cuz of who’s on the $100. Okay off to bed!

That feeling ten minutes before they open the doors to let attendees in to the comic convention of *oh no I’m not in the mood for this*. Anyway, it’ll pass and I’ll see you at W12 at SPX.

And the Emmy for Outstanding Achievement in Falling Sparks goes to Alien: Earth

I had a hard time getting into superhero comics as a kid because of the multi-book, multi-series, multi-universe, ever-growing web of expected knowledge. And now… I mean, I’ve watched and will watch it all, but lordy.

Wanna hear a BUNCH of phones blasting at full volume all at once? Go to a urologist’s office.

<buys 150 plums at a market> Clerk: Those look yummy! Making jelly? <buys 1 bag of prunes> Clerk: Bro, this dude can’t poop. Gross!

Jurassic Park doing the same thing over and over again, failing more and more spectacularly each time, is the DNC. In this seven-part essay, I will

Something that shook my skeleton (again) this week was (re-)discovering (again) that some of the most successful, celebrated comic folks are (still) making sooooo very little from their books (still).

When the web is a gutter choked with untested inedible AI generated recipes, all of you will look to my cooking blog and shout "SAVE US with your tested home-cooked recipes!" And I'll look down and whisper "No. In 2003 my dear husband I visited a charming boutique in Martha's Vineyard..."

Yeah I don’t like how aggressive dude pigeons are to lady pigeons but I guess I’m just sensitive like that

Every time I see infighting on the left, I think to myself, “Mayor Cuomo.”

oops oh no I might spent the next chunk of life pursuing the holy fool oh no help

If you're a Marine or other service member being mobilized to Los Angeles and you'd like to apply for conscientious objector status, call the GI Rights Hotline to get some guidance on your options: 1-877-447-4487

Everything is the world is a little bit worse all the time. Even Roku City. Billboards that break the color scheme? EW.

Paywalled news… nope. Don’t like it.

I wrote about commodifying hobbies on my substack. And I commodified another hobby. hereliestravis.substack.com/p/commodifyi...

If I go to a FIFTH local hardware store in Brooklyn and they don’t have what I need, New York City is officially dead, and I’m moving to the burbs.

As you watch the new Love on the Spectrum, listen to the weird editing choice of pretending James’s call from the speed dating event coordinator is a conversation rather than an obvious recording.

Hug them. Kiss them. Cherish them. Daisy forever and ever and ever. 🧡✨

I am going to smash my printer with a hammer. Every single time I go to print something, one of the cartridges is dry. And yeah, you still need magenta ink to print black in 2025. Paper load errors, flashing lights. Everything is junk. If you need me, just follow the screams coming from the woods.

The best character in The Boondock Saints in the guy in the end credits who says, “I’m ready get buuusy *too*.” I think of him often.

Planes crapping out, pilot & ATC shortages, FAA cuts, jet stream collapse, elected reps drafting anti-“chemtrail” legislation… there’s a non-zero chance that commercial aviation is gone in ten years. Need to get overseas? Better pack a few books!

It’s nice here.

l haven't been in a play since 1997, and I didn't even know I was in consideration for this role, but I'm going to give this groundbreaking, brilliant show and character and cast everything l've got.

There’s a glaze at my clay studio called Peggy Blue, but I’m working hard to get everyone to call it Margaret Blue because she’s SO fancy.

Biggest letdown in my life is that not ONCE did I stumble into a grumpy old man’s antique shop, defy his strict instructions to not mess with a particular item (as he smirks just out of view), and get swept up in a fantastical adventure.

Another email from a streaming service (this time Hulu) saying “circumstances may require that certain titles and types of content include ads, even in our 'no ads' or 'ad free' subscription tiers”. Welp. I just gave myself permission to buy a bunch more DVDs.

So proud of my son.

POV: You’re ANOOOOTHER football-themed @nytimes.com mini-game and I’m looking back at you. T-O-U-C-H-D-O-W-N

Right now, as this moment in Yasmin Williams' brilliant career, was the right time to bring her in for a Tiny Desk. She's one of the most inventive guitarists working, writing and dreaming... and she brought a dang 10-foot marimba to our office. www.npr.org/2025/02/07/g...

“You couldn’t make <movie/tv/album> today” is always wrong. “They don’t make good <genre> anymore” is always wrong. Right? Ah, who cares

The word “aesthetic” without a qualifier is so very wrong and ridiculous, but in 2025 I’m working to not get furious about these types of things. Fine. The room is aesthetic. Good. That carpet is aesthetic. Great.

dirt don’t hurt

[spoiler] Wildest part of A Complete Unknown is when the label dude was like BOB DYLAN IF YOU PLAY AN ELECTRIC GUITAR WE WILL F***ING K*** YOU and then Bob Dylan was like meeeeeeeehhhhhh and invented punk rock and then label dude was like, “Truly, the times, they are a-changing.”

And for the rest of us, here is MJF’s version of the Know Your Rights document that applies to any city. Be safe out there, fam. 🤎