If I sighed deep enough tears would form

Anytime I’m without headphones I feel like I’m going to start crying lol

I am LOLLYGAGGING during this workout rn

Upping my lorazepam until my brain turns into a slab of concrete

Ohhh my god this stupid hockey show is making me feel absolute despair everyone delete dating apps we’re all meeting in the showers from now on

I don’t think sports should last more than three hours I’m sorry!!!

Found these Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie blind bags at Target. Subsequently cleaned them out.

Making magic happen 🎄🪄

Merry Christmas this is the first time I’ve beaten Mortal Kombat ‘92 with Sonya Blade

VERY over Marvel if it’s not x-men stop wasting my time

Naked sleepers do your sheets smell like sweaty ass and balls

I’m expected to switch right into “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé following Ariana Grande’s absolute barn-burner Santa Tell Me? Be so serious

Replying to every work email with “lol” today

I was at a dinner with a group of people I have a group chat with the other day. The person next to me’s phone went off and I looked down and saw the names of everyone at the dinner except me (there were four of us) attached to the message???

Tell me again how you lost all your friends, tell me when did it start, and when will it end?

#NowWatching: first time watch! Children of Men

I really wanna hang out with more of you guys

These were my top 4 favorite pics too

Oh gosh that was a blast a stupid stupid blast

#NowWatching: The Housemaid starring Amanda Seyfried and Sydney “Boobs” Sweeney

Carried cafeterias in the 2000s

Ariana lowkey homewrecked SNL and Bowen Yang too

I think I’m better with people through writing than I am in real life. Isn’t that fun?

Passed a guy I did a show with 15 years on the street and ignored him even as he said my name 😅 mind you we didn’t go to the same school and did NOT talk after the show wrapped and I don’t remember his name!!!

If a workout shirt passes the smell test will you wear it again?

Should I watch Barb and Star tonight?

One of the craziest things I saw on the internet was a guy posting a poll on his CLOSE FRIENDS if he should start OF and the results were NO 😭

Hey siri find me nerdy fit gay men with good teeth and a sense of humor

Nothin gets me goin about the environment more than watching an oil slick duck getting drenched in dish soap

Honestly one of the hottest celebrity moments of the past decade was Ben McKenzie from The OC becoming an educator about the dangers/grift of cryptocurrency

I’ve got plenty of fuzz and plenty of peach.

Could you not say I look like I’m eating real good???

Hey I realllllly don’t want my contacts to find me on here can we opt out???

Almost sent this image of Daisy Duck trying to kill herself to my coworker when my boss asked about optimizing for ai shopping assistants

Hey! We’re done with Wicked: For Good. If you didn’t see it you missed it sorry!

Drunk enough to text “I wish you liked me more :/” but sober enough to know better

Once I pay off 16,900 dollars in debt it’s over for you hoes you’ll think I moved to Japan the amount of times I travel there for leisure

This is what I look like now

Sean Connery and Kurt Russell

If a man goes cold on me I have no issue reenacting this scene and I wouldn’t be doing an impersonation

Well add it to the fucking list Woody

Too much fucking evil happened this weekend man.

I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this happened and we don’t know how in 2025. deadline.com/2025/12/rob-...

A man who takes care of his feet has unlimited sexual riz

I made pancakes and they turned out heavy :(

I was told only losers goon by several people I guess Gooning is out now

Regular hit me up but I’m already cozy in my shoe

I took a 20 mg edible last night and woke up at a time I will not be disclosing but I made it to the gym :)

Sometimes I wonder if film bros hate films they can’t imagine directing themselves

I’m gonna need you guys to settle down about the white twunk hockey show