Jax Taylor not doing onlyfans is honestly such a gag if you think about it

Do you think Cubone would let me be his mommy?

Would you guys take a Dude Shower with me be honest

It’s the lyric “I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22” but in a bad way like I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing rn way

One thing toddlers will do is give you their half eaten food and walk away

The Fox and Rabbit in Zootopia have insane sexual chemistry

I get to see my nieces today!!!

Electrolytes are salt that isn’t fucking WEIRD? WAKE UP

Are crocs at the gym a straight thing?

Why isn’t anyone hr hires ever like…cunty

No one is responding to my texts about Pokopia

Joe from Survivor question are your nipples sensitive y or n

Every obstacle I’ve ever conquered was out of spite

I want to sit in a wobbly vinyl booth and split a large plate of skinny french fries with a friend, eating them one at a time and washing it down with soda fountain Sprite in a classic red Coke cup

Scream 7 broke my heart.

Every decision that people in charge make feels spiteful

McK*nsey is parked in my office conference room chat am I fucked

How I arrived on BlueSky

I don’t want to pay taxes, I don’t want a war, I don’t want benefits slashed, I don’t want a child molester as president! Why am I paying the federal government to kill people?

Julius Meinl is such a liminal concept I feel like it was incepted into my subconsciousness before I ever saw one in real life

Why hasn’t Challengers gotten a Criterion release? What is the criteria for Criterion?

Is everyone getting intrusive spam calls they can’t stop from a man named Marco trying to sell you a personal loan

People who aren’t 30 yet…like, grow up!

Is Smosh just Dropout for Zillennials? And Dropout is fully millennial?

Everything I post on Facebook is an accident I just want access to marketplace

There was a sex worker in chi that did an ask me anything and someone was like “hi we have the same body type and you’re my inspiration🧡” and he responded “no offense but we absolutely do not, please don’t say that to me, we really don’t. I can’t help you.” And I think about it once a day

Can you believe Paramount is about to burn half of Warner Bros’ entire catalog like the library of Alexandria

These fuckin turds

Scream is over party :/

Colby talking shit about Rizzo is when I texted my friends SURVIVOR 50 IS SO GOOD

This is fucking heartbreaking. Poor Mary Cosby. I’ve never felt this deeply for a housewife before.

The State of the Union is Bad saved you three hours

Chicago Fire relocated my car for fuck ass network television. Not even HBO or Peacock

Working on getting from humungo to awooga

Had to unfollow someone who posted a video at a country music concert. Can’t risk it

How many times is mercury in retrograde that bitch never shuts uuuuup

Oatmeal is such a strong base for a cookie how the hell did it get stuck with RAISINS? Oatmeal CHOCOLATE CHIP cookies, oatmeal CINNAMON cookies, oatmeal PEANUT BUTTER cookies. Why raisins????

I designed my own notebook and planner because Barnes and Noble couldn’t TAKE ME. How hard is it to have a daily planner with a schedule, task list, and a lined page for notes??? Why do I have to dig for this???

Does anyone want to be on my Scream Trivia team for Sidetrack’s Trivia Tuesday tomorrow?

Ken Jennings is a bitch and I like that

Today I learned MUNA is just Katie Gavin and 2 Joe Calderones

Do you guys ever fantasize about taunting your high school bully who was like “I heard you’re gay” by replying “yeah and I fucked your dad”? That would’ve been so cool

Aw fuck you man

Bottomless mimosas kicking my ass rn

I am learning so much from oomfs instagram reel likes

Manon was my sixth favorite member of Katseye:( RIP in peace :(

My favorite way to react to hot people is “I would be such a bitch if I looked like this”

I fucking knew it

If you are dating or married I don’t want to hear your opinion on my existential fear of aging

I love suckin on a peanut