He’s said raw dog multiple times today.

My period is stupid late and my man had a vasectomy years ago. If I’m pregnant it’s a literal miracle or an act of satan. I’m not sure which one.

I was explaining Israel vs Palestine to my coworkers in an honest history lesson and an elderly man walked up and asked if I’d ever read an ancient map. I asked him if he was fine with the point where I said they were literally desecrating people because of it and he walked out of the bar.

My almost 18 year old came home from school not feeling well and immediately wanted to snuggle with me in bed. Her becoming an adult is going to destroy me. I hope she still wants to snuggle in her 30s.

It worked.

He sang this out loud. It was a banger.

Stop posting beans.

Technically, I’m related to Mike Vrabel and I too think they should tell him to take a walk.

Told a man to please stop harassing me outside of work, and he went to regional on me with a fake report. I love having to defend myself for keeping my peace.

Today is my town’s wine walk. Time to sip some wines with elderly women and shop local businesses, baybeee! This is my Super Bowl.

Lobsterfest is my Toyotathon.

IS EVERYONE OKAY??

He forgot he wants a Deedee Megadoodoo moment.

In need of positive vibes. Taking a very large test tomorrow. If I pass I go into an interview process for a promotion I’ve worked very hard for. To say that I am nervous would be an understatement.

Went out with some coworkers last night and we ended up at karaoke. Here’s me on a stage yelling at grown men to start twerking.

Never let your friends record you doing karaoke.

First to 69 always wins

Yay sports! Go Blue! Won our family bracket challenge!

Three pointer???? A THREE POINTER?

Go Blue

When I eat meats, the fat stays on.

Yaxel should absolutely NOT be out there. Please don’t get hurt worse.

Go Blueeeeee

He wrong.

Going full turtleneck for my hot date tonight. I hope I get a kiss!

I had a weed and wanted birthday cake ice cream so my husband is at the store getting me birthday cake ice cream.

I never gave up on Jason Heyward.

Happy Friday Here's famous dipshit Trevor Bauer getting domed by a 100 mph line drive

Fixed my roots and chopped my hair. I feel like a real person today. Please clap.

Personally, I think it's important that children be taught about all the early Saddle Creek bands. Not just Cursive, but Bright Eyes, The Faint, Rilo Kiley, and even The Good Life. Hear hear!

This is what love is.

A single mom who works two jobs Who loves hentai and never stops With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter I'm a survivor

I had corned beef hash eggs Benedict this morning, and I’m going to be thinking about its deliciousness for a while. Holy shit.

Teleport into ditches and burn through the witches He slams in the back of a Waffle House

Wow. This is madness! In March!

I’ve had some weeds and I really like Reese’s eggs.

The Sound of Silence cover by Disturbed.

I have Michigan winning it all. Go Blue.

I’ve finally reached my weekend, so naturally it’s time for Francesca Dianne to smile at me until I pet her for hours. She knows how to turn on the cute.

Eating nachos in bed for breakfast like a real bad bitch.

Strait of Hormuse-Bouche

I am very attracted to this man.

Gas is almost $4 a gallon. I don’t know if Mom Tok will survive this.

Brian got home after painting doors in a home asked what’s for dinner and we got this together. Had Del Real Chili Verde in freezer.Opened a can of refried beans,had some Rice in the fridge, warmed some tortillas. Brian had 2 Flour tortilla burritos,I had a plate full 3 corn tortillas. Good dinner🍴

I refuse to dig and find out who the Woke Ginger is that you’re all talking about.

Chicago wind gauge

This is bait.

Imagine hating me, and I’m literally just in my bed snuggling a stuffy.