love to do my real job for money and then relax by pretending to do an other job in a video game

I think it is funny in anime when they do this - Jeff: They gathered 100 of us criminals to go to murder land Greg: I see Mark, Steve, Maxim Murder Death God, Larry, Chronus the Time Demon, Phil, Bowie the Living Blade... Jeff: Not enough room on the boat for everyone hmnn wonder how that works...

talking to a nice old man you just met at a loud bar on a cruise and like every statement he leans in to yell feels like playing russian roulette of "is this the one where he milkshake ducks"

To be fair to Trump, I have seen Dr Robbie wear this on The Pitt.

Folks we don’t like this new pope. Pope Leo the Lion the call him. Like a little pussy cat. But we like the last pope better. Young Pope they called him. Whatever happened to Young Pope. Handsome pope. He was young and he smoked. Cigarettes can’t say that. Does Leo the Lion smoke? Probably vapes.

Some writer accidentally took two dumb fuck pills this morning

My ten year old has been watching Jojo with his friends and now these kids have the music taste of an old man with a pack a day habit

If I was an Astronaut flying through space it would be really tempting to roll the window down and do that hand thing but NASA would probably yell at you on the radio

Not my parents, but my aunt scolded me and my brother for using prank squirt rings at a family gathering because she banned water guns from her house because when she was young one of her friends drowned

I should call her

Watched TRON Ares. After the original and especially Legacy made the grid / servers feel like a living cities this one is like “6 dudes live here standing around in one of two rooms”

War crime tribunals aren’t enough we gotta put him in a Harlan Ellison short story.

It’s a vacation but I’m also LEARNING

for every 20 likes, I will give Ed Baldwin more cheese on his spaghetti

Emmys should have a Jackass-style Old People Makeup category. For All Mankind would walk away with it every year, but Monarch is a strong contender this year

Goth Bimbo Heathcliff - Swan Boy also has things to say about the green m&m

The Libs are freaking out just because the president has teleported to waffle house fully nude terminator style

He’s at Walter Reed getting another MRI so he fills up his frequent MRI Card. After 10 MRIs visits they let you throw a bunch of loose arcade tokens into the machine while it’s running

Trump is actually at Walter Reed getting a BBL

I called it

Them moon astronauts slurping down 1,000,000 scoville chicken paste tubes, blobs of sweat floating around, eyes encased in a undulating blob of tears

The UK Last One Laughing is amazing. Highly recommend (jimmy carr notwithstanding)

Eugene is recovering well, alert and joking and will go home in a few days. A big deal accident but we will be very grateful this good guy genius will recover.

Watching a slasher movie where the bad guy gives shark tours and he does the whole tour like normal and murders them only when it is over and that right there is toxic linkedin grind set mentality. They can’t post on yelp about how you didn’t do the tour they paid for.

I liked the Hail Mary movie, but it struck me as odd (though successful) to almost entirely cut out the science puzzle box stuff from a science puzzle box book and just focus on a Ryan Gosling / muppet bromance

That’s just all your monster insects and lizards respawning

Flipping the "days since I got mustard on myself during lunch" sign back to 0

Jason Mantzoukas is Wario. They should cast him in the Mario movie as Wario, too.

Stop worrying about what YA books to let your kids read and let them sort it out with V C Andrews and cocaine era Stephen King as God intended

After the show, the real airwolf crashed into a mountain and killed 3 people

Get in losers, we’re forgetting the face of our fathers

this show wasn't the best (it did grow on me), but also it is way better than no trek at all on TV.

Curious about Marathon but most of the people playing it non-stop say it sucks

Prebiotic sodas: tired of bullshit sodas that only make you burp?! Wish there was a soda that also made you fart so hard you might shit your pants???

LOL my teen had a math substitute today and they just watched this game

Dune It Dune It and Dune It Well

They made me take my glasses off for a government photo and when I put them back on and saw myself I made a slight pained noise to which the lady responded “don’t worry no one will see this”

Happy Irish Man Theme Song Day 🍀

apple watch sleep tracker has stopped displaying my nightly sleep score and just shows me this

I'm irish-american (which is a long way to say "american"), but happy st pattys regardless www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l-y...

I think Sinners deserved to win but so did One Battle After Another and Weapons. I think more than one movie can be really good. I don't think art is sports, especially when the academy voters are famously bad at their jobs.

My understanding is this is a tool for QA checks and not generative, but as someone who did QA checks all the time I’m struggling to understand the price tag Maybe the sales pitch is it actually works as advertised on rushes and they currently have a high rate of reshoots from goofems? I dunno

It must be done.

Why is Apple News roasting me

🩷 ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴇꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ! 🩷

An otezla ad dropping immediately following the otezla parody on SNL did get a bark laugh from me

YOU - Suffering will only make me stronger. ENDURANCE - It's probably this way of thinking that got you where you are.