I fail to understand how Bryson Stott's walkup song does not win every "What's the worst song in history?" poll.

The way the tech industry continues to hold the actual AI itself blameless for its avalanche of shitty consequences makes me wonder if Trump is an AI.

"You can't take Tylenol when you're pregnant, it makes the baby have the autisms. But you gotta have something, so now it's okay for you to have a coupla screwdrivers, I guess."

I just lost my fantasy game because of that garbage time TD. Fantasy football is a hideous bitch goddess.

Nerd analysts can praise them all they like, I am simply not afraid of the Ravens.

Found out I have whooping cough, FFS. Dickensian as shit.

Paul McCartney-Roger Ebert

Got you big dog

Sleepy dog, pass it on.

Yeah, they did. Which explicitly makes them not real Christians. "Real Christianity" isn't determined by a membership card.

I could not be more pleased with my decision to go media blackout and watch the Eagles game "live" instead of just waking up and checking the score.

You can ban the tush push, but in exchange I demand that I never have to hear or read a league shill talk about it ever again. We’ll just do regular QB sneaks at the same rate of success, and I’ll have some peace.

What’s the over/under on days til Trump demands to host a late night show? You know he thinks he’d be amazing, and we have evidence he’s a night owl.

I would definitely eat this before I would drink that accursed soda.

Do you have a lot of annoying admin tasks or household chores you need to accomplish, but never seem to find the time for? Then may I suggest: setting aside a day to do nothing but write, you will be amazed at how many such tasks you can accomplish.

Tapping the sign for Disney, who settled a baseless defamation suit from you-know-who for $15 million just 9 months ago.

Disgraceful from Vichy Disney. Of what value are your broadcast licenses if you let the FCC program your schedule?

Dang Bluesky being ahead of my TV and spoiling Marchan's home run! 😐

Hard to choose between D and G. It all hinges on how much of Italy I get with D.

People complaining about the 3.5h of LEGO Voyagers I wish you all a very happy fuck off please. Let's make more smaller games and kill that stupid concept of 100h pieces of garbage, thank you 😇🙏

It's almost like you should hang onto your dignity instead of kissing his ass, because he still does this to people who kiss his ass.

If you see this, quote with the energy you bring to Bluesky.

I have had significantly more than my fill of the Microsoft Authenticator app.

The NFL was angry and embarrassed they couldn’t get the tush push banned this year. You can already see the narrative building that the play is impossible to officiate so they can try again.

Man, both the Eagles and the Chiefs look like it’s the preseason.

You can lick that boot all you want, it's still going to stomp on you when it's your turn.

"political violence is never acceptable," is a phrase you don't hear politicians say after cops beat the shit out of peaceful demonstrators

It's always good when another reason to hate the Yankees presents itself.

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

The Ravens just played out an entire typical Ravens season in the space of one 60-minute game.

Even though Collinsworth can make an amazing moment thuddingly joyless, he's so excited I almost can't begrudge him.

Slightly diminish a book "To Slap A Mockingbird"

Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr.

Really enjoying my decision to draft Dak and AJ Brown.

Let's take this W and never speak of this night again.

Watching "The Seventh Seal" for work during the weather delay of this cursed game feels appropriate.

@fangraphs.com I've been looking at the MLB playoff odds lately. I'm wondering what the reasoning is for the Dodgers having such a significant lead in WS odds over teams that have better records. If anything, because the NL is so stacked, I would think it would be less.

That taunting penalty is ridiculous even in a vacuum, but in that specific circumstance it's almost equivalent to a turnover.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Did a spit take at the first six seconds of that game. I'm sorry.

Amazing start, fellas.

@defector.com The Guys of the 21st Century: Phillies Edition

Ruin a movie by making it about Gary. “There’s Something About Gary”

He’s putting in a McDonald’s at the White House.

Well, it should have!

Miami is being so conservative, it's going to bite them in the ass.

This one is only for Blueskyers of a certain age.

Gotta get Schwarber another at bat in the 8th.

I can't stand Philly Doomers, but today I'm tired of hearing it's a long season. This series has been a disgrace so far.