computor—more penis on the timeline

The apocalypse haze has reached me

Todd Coddington

dude I forgot they're still calling this shit operation epic fury

DST arguments never factor in that we work too much in the first place to even enjoy DST or Standard Time

Not quite sure what the future holds for the strat of "not selling things" that companies are doing for the 2026–27 fiscal year

We found the portal to the dimension where the CGI'd off nipples of The Rock go in the live action Moana remake

Currently off screen stuck in a sidequest featuring the 70 books I checked out at once from the library interloan system

Today:

it sure is great living in the state where you can currently win the lottery on contracting the pants shitting parasite from eating produce

Gloop

Chet Blinker

100 Pages into Moby-Dick, they finally be on that boat

Got the god damn no good detached DVT pulmonary embolism blues

I'm devastated.. Pod Racing has claimed yet another life today in a senseless incident during today's opening ceremony. Rest in peace galactic senator Graham

Just told my 10yo daughter about #LindseyGraham. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said "#Grahamkanda forever" -- which is the sort of pop culture cross-over that I can celebrate.

Did he have ligma?

Waoh

Tfw u will never have clam and cod chowder with Queequeg in Nantucket why even live

Haliey Welch is a John Barth fan? I can respect that

Square Enix presents: a Special Program Stream for Mitch McConnell

NR;;;

We've had some red tailed hawks hanging around the neighborhood for the past week or two (they're LOUD), but I just missed one trying to nab a squirrel next to my house

Well well we'll look at the time

I understand the impulse to compare a ~30 year old anime movie to a currently airing TV anime but man you gotta understand how much of a profound waste of time and mental energy that is. Approach things on their own terms

Now On this

I am hearing that on his deathbed ——— received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!

Sorry guys it was my kid's turn in class to take care of Mitch McConnell for the weekend and she dumped way too much fish food into the bowl

When you get a text that has you like

This is "asked chatbot for advice" tier insane restructuring btw

{text to speech AI woman voice}; We put his penis tightly into the cock cage and threw away the key—this is what happened next

Today: arrived in a pizza box and a fancy ass air wrap

If you're reading this—well—unfortunately the ;device; has already been activated. The piercing shriek in your ears will only continue to get worse from here. Good luck

oh nu-gits is on prime I guess I have that and can watch it

I think, when you lay off 50% of a studio it's effectively the same as closing it

Something wrong,,, I hold my head,,,

Starting that shit that made Mao II

Today; very excited

I can't believe it's been over a year since Isis kidnapped and beheaded Charlie Kirk—we carry the flame every day

I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning, the senior Senator from Kentucky. He’s still recovering in the hospital. We talked for just shy of 20 minutes … about IRAN, UKRAINE, the unfolding situation in MAINE, my visit to the TR Presidential Library, and even a little bit of Senate histo

waugh

Hello ma'am, I'd like to introduce you to my good friend who buys normal quantities of Muslimgauze vinyls.

Today's arrival

They should make a game called Rhythm Hell wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Vote for Abdul