The Braves signed a white, aging, league average hitting outfielder with mediocre defense? Has this one had his guns stolen too? Gotta make sure we check all the boxes.

Raheem Morris must’ve been dogshit at fuckin hide and seek as a kid the way he’s still lookin for answers out there

Victory from the jaws of defeat from the jaws of victory. Standard practice.

Brandon Nimmo is the first millionaire to flee Zohran Mamdani's Communist New York City

Honestly getting Brandon nimmo further from the capital before the Epstein files hit is a good idea @mets.com

Resigning on Jan 5 instead of Jan 6 is such a coward move. Coulda stormed out instead of stormin in. Be the white you always wanted to be.

Bro get this lineup off the fuckin court this is coaching malpractice lmao

1/16 is a perfectly acceptable price

Grayson got to have those Kyle wright medicals

Don’t even watch this shit anymore but for me i don’t care if Bijan is the second coming of LT or AP, the team had just moved on from a franchise QB, has had problems on both sides of the trenches for my entire life save a year here or there, and spent a top 10 pick on an RB (& TE before that)

Can’t spell “Atlanta is fucking dog shit lol” without F-A-L-C-O-N-S

Drake simply the better

Wife confidently declaring “Mo Gueye is better than Trae Young” we’ve arrived

Hawks on a back to back against the Lakers with no trae and potentially no Luke a day after shitting the bed and choking a lead away in the 4th is the November equivalent of seeing Bryce elder starting against the Phillies after Joey wentz gave up 8 the day before

Knowing this org is this org and we were getting some form of bald headed old white shitfuckery, the bar is literally “who will make Matt Olson or Austin Riley take a day off when they’re 1-56 with a 30% k rate and a 35 mph avg exit velo.” I am sure this bar will not be reached

They almost certainly asked the candidates if they’ve used a computer to look up stats or if they know what a fangraphs is and that’s probably what sank David Ross

“We searched extensively and conducted several interviews” incoming. Bitch, asking fredi Gonzalez and Keith Lockhart what their plans are between April to October is not a search.

Replacing the 69 year old mashed potato fuck head with a 61 year old retread who never broke .500 in his 4 years managing Helton, Tulo, Arenado, CarGo, Charlie Blackmon, et fuckin al.

BRO I AINT GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS BOBBY COX NEPO TREE SHIT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE AND I GET WALT FUCKING WEISS WHAT DID I DO TO YOU @god

You can take the linebacker out of Atlanta but you can’t take the Atlanta out of the linebacker

Toronto you are morally obligated and legally cleared to separate Jeff Hoffman spirit from his corporeal body

To be perfectly clear this is the second most Maple Leafs thing that could happen to the blue jays besides losing on the first round

So one of the things I’ve been advocating for years is surgically removing Will smiths knees

I’m pretty sure the psychic damage from not scoring there would end me

Told yall these chucklefucks can’t be trusted

I have not willingly watched a falcons game in years but my wife will not stop yelling KORK at me please send help i need an adult @andrewhirsh.bsky.social @jeannakelley.com

Rob Manfred retire ya bitch

I didn’t see the announcements yesterday but holy shit Austin Riley as a fucking silver slugger finalist is hilarious. A voting outcome so egregious it’s going to make me say things like “Alec Bohm and Brett Barry erasure” and “Caleb durbin deserves better”

Putting the Canadian anthem directly next to the American anthem is such a crime. Why would you make me listen to this dogshit Francis Scott key word vomit immediately after such a stellar rendition of oh Canada complete with key changes and shit

NICK ALLEN GOLD GLOVE FINALIST ALERT

Idk how max martin is producing your shit and you write a chorus that is 70% sitting on the same note in quarter notes and another 25% is doing Jason Aldean sing talking but holy dogshit brother

Finishing 9 games behind the cubs after having a 4 game lead makes blowing a 10.5 game lead to the Braves look like child’s play it is ADMIRABLE how committed to the bit they are

GG I won’t miss you mother fuckers ruining my vibes see you in 2026 come back with your UCL’s and shit

Being extremely out of the playoffs but scoreboard watching game 162 to detect FRAUDULENT ACTIVITY

WE DID IT. MARK LEMKE WOULD BE SO PROUD

Chuck finished with like 400 less K’s than Glavine in roughly HALF the innings. Absolutely wild what he did given he didn’t really find himself til he was damn near 30

Realistically this guy should have one of his “Phillip”s taken away for this rendition.

The Angriest Brian Snitker Has Ever Been occurred in a throw away game against a throw away team in a throw away season I genuinely can’t wait for him to go

there's a big problem with the culture here on bluesky, and it's that not nearly enough people are posting about the 10 year anniversary of Carly Rae Jepsen's groundbreaking and timeless album EMOTION being this year and how awesome that is

ABS: good Potentially getting rid of K-Zone on broadcasts because the zones are produced differently instead of simply using the ABS zone: brainless

My dad took 2 Tylenol before he came and 36 years later i cant stop thinking about Khris Davis’s .247s, public transportation, and Minecraft. Someone who is good at the economy please help,,,

Oh baby I get my nick Allen x HSK fanfic

The Rapture is all the dumbfucks stupid enough to not take Tylenol while their brains bake and not vaccinate going to Be With God* *9AM tee time with Ronald Reagan, Walt Disney, and Charlie Kirk in Hell

Listen I don’t watch the CTE sport anymore but in my entire lifetime the falcons have had exactly one offensive coordinator with a functioning brain and that guy literally forgot you could run the ball up 4 scores so it seems not much has changed

Posting through it dot JPEG

Bryce elder unleashing bombs in Detroit I knew he was a fucking domestic terrorist

It was the best of Mortons, it was the Charliest of Mortons

If Ozzie is allowed to keep playing second base we are 6 months away from him fielding a throw from the catcher at the top of the mound and trying to reach back tag. I am so sick of his god damn defense

Having to really examine the moral and spiritual ramifications of having watched the Rockies bunt with their cleanup hitter down 1 in the fourth inning.