hey everyone, im having my first ever subathon for my birthday coming up starting tomorrow and ending on tuesday! it's not uncapped or anything but we're gonna play games, and there will be some silly rewards - i'd love to see you stop by! twitch.tv/nanolather

I turned @evexe.bsky.social into loaf :3

fih

here u go u sickos

should i post when i start stream? i dont feel like i post enough so my entire feed would just me going live...

ahoy!!!!!!!! ⚓️

"I know your default setting is to be a prick, but I’m sure you can dial it down a smidge."

to be locked outside of ones home. i wonder where i put the key...perhaps this isnt my home? where is my home? perhpas i was never here at all...

boofer

fish

Fuggin.. Taxes.. I’m ooough

sometimes we have to break ourselves apart to rebuild ourselves into something else. i just hope im brave enough and strong enough.

welcome home artemis and crew! yippeee!

ough i wish art was more comfy for me to do. i know its a struggle and annoying sometimes but i dont even mean that. i mean i just struggle with the art program. if i knew how to control and operate an art program the same way i could in my fav games i wonder if i could enjoy it.

i want the madness to end. i hope to return to stream soon. the new meds i was put on just have a huge starting cost that is destroying me. its making my major depressive massively worse but im living through it. im trying.

sorry but, we really gotta stop the whole "if someone can't love themself then why should anyone" or "if you dont find yourself interesting/entertaining then why should anyone" i cant tell what the purpose of that is. cause if thats true i should just give up. on everything.

ah....too scared to post my insanities anymore. nooo. bleh. i die.

im bad at socials apologies i will occasionally be insane and maybe i should be posting when i go live on it but who really cares probably no one. should i care? i dont. but i vehemently hate myself so its hard to tell.

i am nothing i have no existence i define nothing i bring no unique individuality that can be described no benefiting to another i can disappear and nothing will change it has happened it will happen again despite all the fighting and the struggle there is nothing but void void void void void void v

FUCK IM SO MAD I BOUGHT TOO MANY GAMES NOW I GOTTA WAIT TILL MY NEXT PAYOUT TO IMPULSEVLY BUY A THING I WANT TO DO FOR STREAMMMMM. soon. next payout. i will get something to add to my stream for chat to play with. hopefully yall will like it!

i should stop pretending im a sane individual. i am insane i am a freak i am fucked up nothing is real especially not me! >w<

i had such a good time today. i still cant fathom the amount of love people send my way. i dont know how to respond to it but thank you. i dont know how im doing enough to deserve any of it. but im glad i am and ill continue to do my best to make a place that yall can feel safe and loved.

i accidnetally click the general voice channles way too much in place of clicking hte general text channels i have a little heart attack everytime god its scares me so much >x<

Gonna just start hitting people with a pipe.

you can glaze steam all you want i still hate the abhorrent genre system it has. when i look for "shoot em ups" i do not mean PAYDAY 3! TRUNIP BOY!? friggin heck. grrrrrr maybe only 1 actual traditional shmup was on the first page. everything else was not even close or had vague shmup qualities.

uuuu i need to get more money and i wish i had a ref sheet to make this easier but for those that DO have money...

wtf am i supposed to do with an adhd addled brain anyways im just sittin here wishing i had an infinite supply of super high caffeine content carbonated drinks and spinning my claw knife.

take me away~ to someplace where humans with hearts live~ take me far away~ i dont want to live here anymore~ take me far far away~ someplace where i can live without fear~ is there somewhere far away~ where greed does not rule~ i wish to disappear~ i dont want to be here~

still fucking stupid you have to pay blizz an extra 40 dollars to play with your friends on time. thanks blizzard i fkin hate your practices.

ok some Ultrakill fans need to chill. it was already getting annoying but when someone asks me what game i liked and i describe it so it has speed platforming and shootings its "oh its ultrakill" and then later a comment "it aint ultrakill tho" like 1. its literally not and 2. check yourself. chill

i dont think there is a significant enough purpose for my brain to accept it...its just....so....pointless. does it really matter? i certainly dont need to. and for the few that have asked i dont think they really browse that much anyways. im sure it was just their imagination pictuing what isnt.

ah, AK Endfield is beautiful.

finally had a dream so nice and relaxing i felt like i got 8 hours of sleep in 4 hours. even with a small wake up towards the end of it. (the dream was prob only like 30 min long of the whole sleep) cmon brain cant you do that like. MORE!?

not really ok but Im trying

oh yea btw i finished canto 9 (chapter 9) for Limbus yesterday when it released. yes. much enjoy. i fought back tears and they came anyways. even a light sob. Ryoshu remaining in my top 3 fav sinners. truley a GOAT and a BAMF. IMMF. ISLY.

i think i need to do a little research into countires that have good proper regulations for work places. i think why there are studies that find harmful chemicals in teas is because of poor chemical management and hte tea is getting "infused" with cleaning chemicals and such used in factories.

i got curious about smoking tea to smoke less weed and man its crazy that looking up smoking tea everyone makes it sound like its such a bad idea that you misewell just keep smoking tobacco. is this one of the weird tobacco company smear companies against tobacco alternatives?

i am both "everything is nice and were gonna be okay and lets spend all day hanging and playing!" and "you are nothing delete your emotions those are not required. you waste your time and money. we could be a perfect machine." and it all clashes upon an anchored rock in a turbulent storm. who am i?

i can like hear it in my bones when i tear out my cuticle with my teeth. so good. so much pain in the future...

i feel so bad i love the quality and pick on bandcamp but why has the site bothered to change its look without adding in anything useful. like a volume slider.....

"you need 3 hands to play Insect Glaive in wilds!" yeah well the psp monster hunters trained me for this. no not cause of claw grip i hated claw grip. i just learned how to manipulate the positioning of the controller on the fly to hit buttons. playing like ALMOST every console since NES trained me

XwX

WE LOVE FAKE GAMBLING WOOOOOO

i think i realize i dont hate water levels in video games as much cause i spent so much time in the pool as a kid exploring the water and swimming. Or i just really like bodies of water. idunno

i need to be a popular streamer just for streamer access on games i like cause people playing a game that i've been waiting to play for years earlier then me just makes me irrationally irritated and angry to the point i wanna boycott it instead for the unfairness

they murder primordial wave to make it trash but still include it in the game cause you need it for farseer but otherwise its a useless button. Blizzard Balance.

to crack it open and spill out every bit of flesh to see. to maybe finally understand what lies in my sea. all i want to know is who i want to be. but its harder than diamantine. harder than it should be. like im afraid to see. me.