No one has ever done comedy about James Bond before !!! I’m the first!! Do not research that!!

I’m doing the first WIP of my new show in Camden on Tuesday if you’re about. Tickets in bio!

Millennials having kids on purpose

Who else eats gulag chicken?

I hate the internet so much man

Writing jokes is so hard guys you don’t understand

What’s the worst secret Santa present you’ve ever had?

What’s the worst secret Santa present you’ve ever had?

Racial profiling but for white guys who wear cords

Might go with someone else sorry boss

Did anyone else think Mandela actually ran Fruit of the Loom or just me

I don’t think you are

Honestly same

Post-literate society??! Bro I know what a post is chill

Went on a Great Gatsby experience day (hit someone with my car)

Wrote this essay about why I don’t do “online content” at the moment open.substack.com/pub/alexkits...

My stand-up show ‘This is Water’ is now available to download. It was one of the best reviewed shows at the Edinburgh Fringe this year and you can get it through the link in my bio for a 50p minimum payment. Worth a punt surely

Latest short story out now: “A Welsh Rugby Coach who got a Kindle for Christmas” substack.com/@alexkitson/...

In 2023 I got annoyed about Farage going on I’m a Celeb and ended up writing this - about Idi Amin being bought back to life to appear on the Traitors. Unsurprisingly, I’ve rereleased it today (with some new artwork). It’s a fairly quick read - hope you enjoy! open.substack.com/pub/alexkits...

Watching the Celebrity Traitors? Here’s a story I wrote about it open.substack.com/pub/alexkits...

If the Riyadh Comedy Festival wants comedians to stop criticising them they should just start an award called ‘Best Newcomer’

This country is going to the dogs because we’re playing way too fast and loose with the word ‘deal’

My new short story “Sirens” is out now. Odysseus didn’t tell his ghostwriter everything you know...

*Frog Transport Police* See it. Ribbit. Sorted.

If God was a woman we wouldn’t just have one big light in the sky. We would have about 9 smaller suns dotted tastefully around the Earth for the ambiance

I remember when the Riyadh Comedy Festival wasn’t all about money and we all wrote our shows on Charon’s boat on the way there

I like to dine ‘al Tesco’ (meal deal in the car park)

Why tf did someone let JK Rowling name a journalist?

BREAKING: “That’s not all!” - Friends of the couple embroiled in the K.I.S.S.I.N.G in a tree saga claim now the baby is playing basketball. More to come as we get it.

Had some nice news at the day job today

Realised I was addicted to my phone cos I thought a pub wifi password was “Est: 1874”

Ahead of my time on this one

Last two Ed Fringe shows tonight and tomorrow. 9pm Hoots at Potterrow - come along?

Nuggets for starter. Cheeseburger as a side. No vegetables in sight. Makes sure we know why he only had a shandy. No notes. 10/10

Deeply concerning comedy news coming out of Edinburgh today. I have had another nice review (from 3 Weeks). 3 more shows left

5 STARS FROM THE PHOENIX REMIX "A fantastic second hour from the comic and it is a show that is absolutely hilarious and has been one of my highlights of this year." Insane scenes - thrilled people are liking the show so much. Only a few more chances left to see it. Hoots at Potterrow at 9pm x

Great to see ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for @alexkitson.bsky.social - catch 'This is Water' at Hoots, Potterow 9pm #edfringe #EdFringe2025

5 star review in for my fringe show tonight. So many tickets still available - come along if you fancy it why not eh

First review in for my show at the Fringe and it’s ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️!! Gassed about this

Asking A.I. about medical issues is asking Chat GP

Got really stuck into this tbf

I forgot to say - I am at the Edinburgh Fringe all month. Would be really grateful if all of you bought a million tickets!

At the weekend I had a preview in an old bank on the Isle of Wight in front of mostly retirees. It was low energy/quiet before I went on so I opened by telling them to “switch their hearing aides to T(ee) hee mode”. It got absolutely nothing and I did the rest of my hour to near silence

Everybody has a weak link in their group chat let’s be honest.

Say what you like about Odysseus - but imagine having a commute so awful they teach it in schools

Summer 2025 is BART summer (being naughty/watching TV/telling people I don’t like to eat my shorts)

If you say “Beta-Jews” three times me and the boys appear

Tooting Bec’s full name is Flatulant Rebecca

This seems very strange from U&Dave. Politically motivated? Strange quote here. "There's no point anymore. Everyone knows who'll win. Every entry on the list will be Alex Kitson because he's obviously got the funniest show. Every joke is a banger. Just buy a ticket to that." Odd!

For sale; “Baby Booze”. Never chugged… 😢😢😭