If I ever ran into Kelsey Grammer, it would be hard to resist punching him then shouting 'Down goes Frasier!'

I found an axolotl in my kitchen.

Kudos to Naughty By Nature for explaining O.P.P. really well. I have no questions.

It's an eat hot dog world out there.

Pink Floyd's Fearless doesn't count as a song about soccer? www.theguardian.com/music/2026/j...

Grilled cheese? More like grilled bread with cheese. Wake up, people.

Drinking lots of coffee this morning without eating just to feel something.

Huge new episode of Spaced Out with Blair Socci out now with legend David Gborie — go watch in my YouTube now — youtube.com/@blairsoccio...

Pigeons are just as bad at making dinner as they are at making nests.

Asking me what time it is generates the same facial response as if I've been asked where the nearest blacksmith is

I want to start saying 'soonly'. Who's with me?

Podcast goes to ad break mid shower🙁 No ads so it's right back on🙂

I bet crows look at their feet and think, wow, my feet are old.

Seen at the supermarket.

They call them s'mores because they were invented by Sam Moore

Genghis Caan

I completed a defensive driving class, so if anyone criticizes my driving I am trained to respond testily.

I'm the CEO of pivoting to leverage leaning into best practices.

Life is like a bowl of roses, you broken clock to each his own.

My friend Lana doesn't like saying her name backwards.

Cole Palmer + Phil Foden = Bill Paxton + Bill Pullman

Ask your forest ranger if trail mix is right for you.

Ask your doctor if groove thing replacement surgery is right for you.

Sadness in the Costco parking lot.

What did Nagoshi do when he was hungry? Nagoshi ate.

Spock = Al Bundy. I did the math.

Ask your thumbs if this guy is right for you.

The odds of a person named Gilligan getting shipwrecked on a place called Gilligan's Island must have been astronomical.

Should declining rental car insurance because you have an Amex card produce debilitating anxiety? Asking for a me.

Peter's brother

The reason she broke up with you wasn't really because you couldn't dance. Learning to do the twist and the mash-potato isn't going to win her back. Continuously asking her if she loves you now won't help either. Move on.

Ask your apothecary if laudanum is right for you.

I called it. www.theguardian.com/sport/live/2...

Where I come from Jeff Daniels played Uncle Joey on Full House. Not saying where I come from is better. Just different.

Right before your flight arrives I'll drop your car off at short-term parking so you can go right to it and only pay a few bucks for parking.

Fran Tarkenton would be a great name in the Star Wars universe.

Name your kid after John The Baptist, but only the 'The' part.

This broth won't fight me.

You use these if your baby is wet and you don't have a towel.

Ask your cobbler if monkey chasing weasel is right for you.

Just used the word conniption in a conversation for the first time this century.

Buh buh buh buh Bram Stokerface.

Two things can be true at the same time: you can listen to The Monster Mash in months other than October AND dirty should be spelled with a u.

No entiendo.

Just plucked a nose hair so long it was connected to my brain. I can now smell colors.

Just found out some couples buy aisle and window seats on flights and let strangers sit in the middle. They do this on purpose. I feel like asking @dansavage.bsky.social if this is okay.

Red Bull should give you chicken wings.

Ranking Newtons 1. Juice 2. Olivia (-John) 3. Cam 4. Isaac 5. Fig

Ask your set piece coach if long throw-ins are right for you.

Dear Nature Valley, please do an image search for wombat poo.