Difficult to say anyone has ever made a perfect movie but I reckon Elf is as close as you can get.

“FIFA Peace Prize”. Tragic.

It’s Antonin Panenka’s birthday today. And to mark the occasion, here’s Julian Dicks giving it some proper fucking welly from the penalty spot…

Watching Robson Green doing Unchained Melody just screams the personality that does that fishing show. #totp

Wow, the BBC are right, Rachel Reeves really is announcing a RAFT OF TAX RISES

That was shit but at least we’re not liverpool

Juat went to try and find something in my Instagram saved items and it’s amazing how many times you can accidentally press that button and save something you’re not interested in whilst simultaneously failing to save anything you actually want. Would highly recommend

🤨

Not watched Strictly before. Didn’t realise it was that kind of show 🤨

The home of the brave, and the land of the… uh… free?

Note to self: Wasabi is a dreadful establishment. Convenience does not make up for bad food.

Wide awake since 3:30am. Marvellous. Might as well get up for work then.

So what happens when the Epstein files are released later and several hundred pages are mysteriously missing?

Sarah Ferguson’s new children’s booked ‘pulped’ after scrutiny over Epstein links

“This is why I took the job in the first place and left Manchester United to come here an’ ting,” McClaren said at his pre match press conference at the National Stadium.

Idea for a new TV show: Scam Interceptors meets Beadle’s About

Might get back on news/tweeting bollocks

Just picked up a National Geographic Traveller in a dentists waiting room (where else) and i remember being upset about the Murdoch takeover but just need to say it was right up my alley. Bosh

My eldest child has just joined LinkedIn. I’m sure all you other career enthusiasts will understand what an emotional moment that is for me.

BBC News have just described Elon Musk as “one of the most influential and flamboyant entrepreneurs ever”, ffs.

Which may explain how moody he looked when i saw him at Kings Cross the other week

Following up on a previous theme, he appears to be in Australia desperately trying to sound very enthusiastic about some architecture he clearly despises

Straight in the George Clarke, it seems

Got terrestrial TV back after several months.

Just passed George Clarke on the stairs coming out of the District & Circle at King’s Cross. Must say he didn’t look particularly amazed by any of the spaces, in fact I could go as far to say he looked thoroughly pissed off but that would be speculation.

I distinctly remember the “immigrants are eating swans from royal parks” thing Farage is banging on about from a satire I read years ago. Anyone know what it might be? I’m leaning towards a Will Self possibly

Presumably this is all part of an elaborate plan to have people with autism interned in labour camps working for the state, concocted by a man whose knowledge of autism extends to having seen Rain Man once in the late 1980s and didn’t understand what was going on but thought it was a cute movie

Watching Moana with my daughter. Glad to see Tia Carrera has finally got that follow-up gig after Wayne’s World

September 21st 🤨

Waiting for the “LED BY DONKEYS CHARGED UNDER TERRORISM ACT” headline www.bbc.com/news/article...

Is there a more degrading experience known to man than a delayed Ryanair flight to Luton?

Shameful. Definitely didn’t vote Labour for this

Amazing how the sight of a single team can make weeks of preseason optimism vanish in seconds #mufc

15 minutes into Gladiator 2 and it’s shaping up to be dreadful already

Says a man who’s definitely never ever ever never never made a foolish or inflammatory statement, let alone and foolish AND inflammatory statement

Blagged a freebie to see Stevie at Hyde Park. Big news on site is that apparently ELO have pulled out of tomorrow because Jeff Lynn has broken his hand

Odds in it blowing up/crashing and burning quite high

Charli XCX. Doesn’t sing. Shakes a very mediocre arse.

EZRA COLLECTIVE: GREAT FUCKING BAND

Was that mean?

Just blocked some nobhead Self Esteem fan because he said all my #glastonbury posts are really negative and i should “chin up”. Yes, that’s the point you tool, I have taste and standards. This is dross

I would rather sit in silence than listen to another second of Self Esteem #glastonbury

This is dreadfukl. #glastonbury

Lou Reed isn’t dead. He’s in Alanis Morrisette’s backing band

The only good thing about 2025 is the total disregard the youth of today have for bras #glastonbury

He must be a bit warm in that tracky top and black jeans #glastonbury

And just as i say that they do a song that’s not terribly shit

I also have no idea how Franz Ferdinand got so big. A textbook example of one of those very mediocre mid 00s bands that got way more popular than they should have. Daft Punk remix? Fuck off #glastonbury

Ugh. Look at that crowd. All so middle class and white and dressed in ASOS. Does ASOS have a “festival” section yet, because it fucking looks like it? #glastonbury