I once told a minister who spoke on a subject dear to me "YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING SUN" it was the kind of compliment that was very weird but was the best approximation of my feelings I could make. today, I found out she wrote that down and has carried it around since. SAY THE WEIRD THING.

Between CR Campaign 4 starting and Dropout's Adventuring Academy, my squish on Luis Carazo is so indulged this week. 😍

I made it 3 hours and 11 minutes into the new Critical Role campaign before I was yelling GODDAMNIT BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN, setting my phone down, and crying over an NPC we just met. 😭

I am a Pile of Trembling Dogs because they fear the weather, and I am once again struck by a strange tender feeling about trying to comfort beings that I struggle with my own fear of.

My friends who send me "things that failed to kill you so far" lists on my birthday have started early this year, and I feel very American right now. Cos "too broke to buy seizure meds" sits right next to "high hillbillies playing with guns in the house." 😅

This morning's UU service involves a talk called "Hope is a Discipline" by Rachel Rogers and the words "This is how hope learns our names" Have been in my head all day now.

My favorite storytelling show filled me full of free wine, Benedictine sandwiches, marinated onions, and pumpkin bread. Hugged half the room, and now I shall sleep for a million years.

So tired of Blackburn. Just. So tired.

A few days ago, I spent several minutes at the grocery picking up a bagged salad and putting it back repeatedly before deciding I couldn't fit it in the $20 I was eating on for the week. Just got approved for SNAP and I am going to go buy that salad as soon as I get my card. 😭

Already calling: I'm going to need to write a fan poem from each head's perspective about their experience of the others.

Me at a spoken word event politely laughing several times while the man asking to take a selfie with me gets more and more confused by my behavior. 😭

"If you can do X thing, you can also do Y thing." This is the most common statement I get about literally everything I struggle with, and it's exhausting. It does not work that way. Context and details matter so much.

Trying to write something for an online event after not writing much for a while, and thought I'd share. Link to my ko-fi because it's the only thing I have up right now for posting to. ko-fi.com/post/just-a-...

Time is a flat circle

Thoughts and prayers for my friends' dinner guest who accidentally mentioned my special interest (Dropout).

Conversation with a care manager today: basically "I can put your pronouns on your records, but we ARE where we are and do you want them there if the state pulls them?"

I'm staying with friends because of, ya know, homelessness. And every time I go from one room to another, the Inspectors come to question me about my intentions. At least I'm never lonely. (Third, less nosy dog not pictured.)

Just finished Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White, and the autistic MC struggling to shower even when covered in gore made me feel so seen. Showering makes me need a nap because it's so stressful. 😅

The Play for Peace: Games for Palestine charity bundle is now live! Nearly 400 games from creators all around the world, with proceeds going directly to Gaza relief efforts. Bundle link: itch.io/b/2979/play-... We made a launch trailer to celebrate this moment👇 Please RT.

I am calm. I am breathing deeply through my nose. I am counting to ten. I… WHAT, ARE YOU AFRAID YOUR DOG WILL INFODUMP TO YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING BALL?!?

I am once again eating sweet potatoes, lentils, and rice lazily cooked in one pot. Because I am poor and tired.

Damn, all the talk about Trump being alive (maybe) has turned him into the Grandfather bird from ACOFAF in my head. You know, the guy made up of all the worst parts of birds. Who is alive, not dead.

The NRA buys off Congress. No action on guns. The oil industry buys off Congress. No action on climate. Insurance companies buy off Congress. No action on health care. The list goes on and on. Money in politics is the root of our dysfunction.

aldi has pineapple jalapeno hummus and it is amazing (and $2)

Handy chart for the liberals screaming at you for your “purity testing”

I sometimes think I must be the one autistic person on earth who is as awkward with animals as with people. I believe in equality, okay? All living beings equally set off my social anxiety. 🤷

I have reached basically none of the "milestones" of life for various health reasons. But let me tell you, when I feel frustrated or scared about that... I find a human being who is also struggling to help in some small way. Even if it's just emotional support. This is NEVER a waste.

Thanks, @allatseapod.bsky.social, for this rabbit hole I'm about to go down about giant squid and deep-sea mysteries while finally trying to catch up on my podcast listening.

I hate how the system for getting any kind of disability, financial, or community support punishes people who have difficulty navigating it for the very reasons they need support. The sheer number of phone calls I need to make while dealing with homelessness is so overwhelming.

Interesting that the transphobe I was speaking to put the trans women in the convo on a list to track, but blocked me. After saying at some point that I was the only one being respectful or w/e. almost like I'm not his fetish or something.

One of the friends I am staying with mentioned a vague history with TTRPGs, and I am wondering how long it will take him to regret it. I have told him about like 20 different indie games I like so far.

Gods, I love ALDI. I just got cereal, almond milk, bagged salad, cherry tomatoes, snack crackers, Gouda, hummus, a candy bar, veggie straws, canned chili, baked beans, and a couple canned fruits and veg for less than $30.

"More violence won't return anything to me except glory in the eyes of strangers." Hi, my squish on Wiswell's wordsy brain continues. Still working on listening to Wearing the Lion, slowly.

No big deal "It's just till we get in office ..." "It's just sports," "It's just restrooms." "It's just your pronouns." "It's just your name." "It's just your medications." "It's just your job." "It's just your kids." "It's just you."

I would also say that if you enjoy play but not character-building, there are lots of ways around that. Talk to your GM or fellow players for help. See if the game you're playing comes with any premade characters or character suggestions. Start with an archetype. Add detail as you play.

I'm not even through the first episode of Tales Unrolled: Alma, and Oscar Montoya has made me cry.

I have gotten myself into yet another conversation about queer labels and the distinctions between self-identity, communication of needs/interests, and community. Someday, I will learn to skip these. Really. Really, I will. (I won't.)

It seems like a good time to remind you of the Actual Play Studio list! Looking to find the latest Actual Play post here on BlueSky? Follow the list to see them all on your feed. Let me know who I am missing and I will get them added to the list.

Finally got my paws on Wearing the Lion by @wiswell.bsky.social and before I start listening, I gotta say: the premise reminds me of my childhood of running TTRPGs for kids who didn't know yet games were supposed to be violent.

This morning, I was lost in a dark forest, surrounded by shadowy figures. Turning this way and that, desperately trying to find a way out. Then my friend's dog began his morning high-pitched yapping, and suddenly he was there in the woods with me, guiding me to safety. The most annoying rescue.

Thinking about @wiswell.bsky.social's Someone You Can Build a Nest In again today, and fantasizing about various ways to build a body. Like, is it normal that I now walk past a particularly nicely shaped object and go "yeah, that would make a cool head" "I would like that for a chompin mouth"

Not going to repost a bunch about this whole situation because I am not that plugged in, but falsely claiming someone has already been found guilty of a crime is utterly f*cked up.

I've been away because of illness, loss of cell phone access, and housing issues, but: This morning while making coffee at a friend's house, I glanced over and saw a dish of oats with three baby carrots in it. It kept catching my eye, and I wasn't sure why. Then I realized it was MOVING.

That moment when a customer service rep asks you for the mascot of a college you went to for one semester almost thirty years ago as a verification question. 😅 my dude, I barely remember what I had for breakfast two hours ago, and I wasn't into sports as a teenager???? IDK????

I have ARFID and there are many, many things I won't/can't eat, but somehow this is not one of them. 😅

I've been listening to Boy Swallows Universe by Trent Dalton, and... You know when you're reading a really long book, and a plot resolves, and you're like "oh, I must be near the end of the book?" And then instead it just keeps going. It does that. But also, I never want it to end.

Eating a whole dish of pickles because of a craving and thinking "eating like a trans girl" instead of "eating like I'm pregnant" says something about me. I dunno what, but something.

ADHD people taking the thousandth screenshot of something they will never look at again