Me: *having a conversation* Keanu: MOM STOP TALKING Me: Buddy, if you want to talk to me, say "excuse me." Keanu, sweetly: Excuse me, Mom Me: Yes, baby? What is it? Keanu, still sweetly: I want you to stop talking

Theory: Bluey's parents can be so chill because their kids don't have to wear clothes.

I think that given the state of the world and our collective mental health we should be granted an emergency dispensation of extra Great British Bake Off episodes.

Me: Ugh, I tweaked my back. Oh well, should be okay if I just don't lift heavy things today The library: Oh hey, your Brandon Sanderson book is here :)

My fall/winter vibe thus far is swanning around the house with a jaded expression and a wineglass in my hand but the wineglass is full of strawberry-kiwi Emergen-C

All this.

Kiddo: Mommy, do people have bones? Me: Yes, buddy, people do have bones Kiddo: But some people don't Me: . . . um, I think people pretty much do, buddy. Bones are important. Kiddo: Do we read bones? Me: . . . uh Kiddo: Do we talk on bones? Me: Are you talking about *phones*, buddy?

Keanu’s new thing is to ask “how are we gonna get OUT of here?!” in normal places. Like, buddy, we’re not in a trap. It’s a grocery store. We’ll just walk out, is the plan.

I think we'll have a basket of ramen cups along with our candy.

Me to COVID and flu: Once I stop feeling hungover from these vaccines and my body finishes incorporating them into its defenses it's all over for you bitches

Came home from the gym today to find my two kids wearing, collectively, one sock, three shirts, and zero pants.

No shade to the residents of Builder Cove, but I would simply not invite the whole town to the grand opening of anything until AFTER that thing had been built

I think it would be nifty if romance ebooks gave you an option to change the romantic lead's name. The author could pick a handful of alternative names you could pick from. Just in case, you know, hypothetically, the lead of a spicy book has the same name as your dad. Or your brother. Or your CAT.

"Aw man, I spilled a bunch of strawberries in my lemonade" - person who's about to make an incredible discovery

A way to help feed hungry families in Gaza:

You (Yes, YOU 🫵) are exactly TWO MONTHS away from SPX 2025!!! We want you to join our merry li’l two day celebration of small press comics, zines and tings! For information on how to purchase tickets, upcoming special guests announcements, programming and more, check out below:

RUTF - Ready to Use Therapeutic Food - is made in America and used to save malnourished kids around the world. The cuts to USAID have left thousands of cases of RUTF sitting in warehouses. Want to help? Here are scripts and info about contacting your representatives: docs.google.com/document/d/e...

Just finished reading Dear Wendy by @annzhao.bsky.social for my YA book group. Cute and fun! I really enjoyed the setting and College Vibes - reading it felt like being in college again, even though I didn’t go to Wellesley, haha.

Calling on my ancestors for guidance but the only one who answers is a weird eutherian rodent-mammal from the early cretaceous period. "EAT BERRY SLEEP UNDER ROCK" it says. Pretty good advice

“Those SHOES!” - Christian Louboutin, reading this book, I assume

I have to wonder whether parents invented high fives as a compromise for their kids who REALLY wanted to hit "Hitting is bad . . . UNLESS"