ㅤ ㅤjust got the heebie jeebies ㅤ

ㅤ calling out today .. ( #seductivesunday ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤi'll pick some up from the convenience store ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤlord. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤdrink some water. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( face lifting from her palms, tired eyes appearing just a hair more awake as they’d widen for a mere moment. ㅤleaning back ever so slightly, cheeks progressively matching the pink of her hair. ) ㅤi — i - ㅤw - well . . i - i dunno — ㅤyou ain’t ever.. yah didn’t act like it. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ. . . ㅤ( letting out a long sigh, dropping her head into gloved hands. prolonging into a groan as digits would reach to pull against her scalp. ) ㅤ.. yeah… ugghhuhuhh . . . ㅤjust . . forget i said anything - ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤno, i'm tired of this back n' forth charade. ㅤyou're real fuckin' hot, and i * know you get that a lot, but fuck - ㅤi jus' wanna wake up every * DAY t' that fuckin' face knowin' i finally didn't screw somethin' up. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤgod shes so bad ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( flushing, almost leaning away — only to hesitate and pause. ) ㅤy - yeah. i’m great. ㅤwell.. fine, fine, yeah. that’s, uh, a better fitting word. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ…… i just got really hot and uncomfortable what ㅤwh what. what’d. what did. uh. ㅤhey. ㅤwhats up. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( tugs at non existent collar ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤdont talk to her she feeds off your life force ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤit felt… wrong. wrong to be so vulnerable. so heard in her pained silence. ㅤher staring became starstruck — lost for most of her words. shellshocked by the possibility that there were hands in the world capable of being so gentle. ㅤof being * as gentle. as . . . ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤas he lightly ushered her hand from her hair, she'd hesitate before slowly craning her attention back to him. ㅤprey trapped in a predator's body - a small, quivering thing with rows of sharp, gnashing teeth that it didn't know how to use. the softness of lavender hues burned by past fires. ㅤ

oh please, don't ackowledge the fact i'm losing my mind over here.

I wanna marry her one more time.

ㅤ ㅤthat final question pulled her eyes out of her hands, tired hues glancing over. mourning. ㅤscrunching, features contorting, though not in any sort of rage or anger. instead, in a silent, burning sort of pain. ㅤshe hadn't been asked that before. and she knew what she was * supposed to say. ㅤ

i go to bed. i am consumed by overwhelming loneliness. i stare at the ceiling. i long for something i can’t name. i question if i’m real. i see a funny little meme on my phone and laugh hysterically for several minutes. i get too invested in an unrealistic fantasy

so i will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door

ㅤ ㅤno, alpha. ㅤ… well. actually — ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤyou both lowk smell but like im okay with logan’s stench so ㅤ

I think this will last forever—the mourning of you.

but holy fuck, i'd swallow poison if it tasted just like you.

I'm always missing someone or someplace or something, I'm always trying to get back to some imaginary somewhere. my life has been one long longing.

ㅤ ㅤhands falling, sliding into her back pockets. ㅤof course she knew, but could she take that risk ? ㅤtaking in a long breath — are you really going to do the same thing that you did to her ? ㅤmaybe, in the past, she would've brushed him off again. insisted that it was simply sleep deprivation. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” y - yeah. ‘course. i just - forgot. feels like i’m always busy, so, uh… “ ㅤviolet hues would fall away, hoping to return her original calm, careless demeanor she had presented when the boy first entered her home. ㅤwhether or not this would actually work seemed awfully clear. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤthe night was getting later, and despite the heretic's warning, elizabeth could only bother logan so often before it became obsessive. ㅤso, instead, she'd sit in the open window of her observatory. chewing on the skin of her thumb, looking down into that crater... ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤis… that… normal for you. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ.. you - you are literally covered in blood. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤdude are you, like, okay ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh. ㅤew. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤwhat the fuck. ㅤno - ?? ㅤare you the fuckin'.. stupid smelly unc who hates liberals or something ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤhey wait don't call her that ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤno i think we should let her die ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh fuck i'm so washed ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ i steal a few breaths from the world for a minute ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤand then i'll be nothing ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤforever. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤgugga ㅤ

ㅤ 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂 . ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ. . . ㅤ( leaning back, placing her hands behind her head. ) ㅤit’s whatever. ㅤi ain’t here to talk about myself anyway. tryna help… that ‘ somebody ‘ get tah feelin’ — i guess, * less like shit. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤit — ㅤ( dropping her head, running a hand through her hair. blowing air. ) ㅤ… she was - she wasn’t * this. ㅤshe was different. a - and — and she did.. a lot for me. ㅤbut, then she just… gave it all up - ? disappeared… ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤaye, aye — !! ㅤi just - ! ㅤwe got unresolved tension, alright ! but also… not ? ㅤi - i dunno how tah really make it make sense — ㅤ.. * specially not with scarface over ‘ere. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤyou know it won’t be forever.. ㅤ( a mutter and a grumble. well aware of her agitation. ㅤtaking a seat regardless. ) ㅤi’m alright. drivin’ n’ all. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤit’s… ㅤ( face subtly heating. shaking it off. ) ㅤit’s a * long ass story. iyuh.. now aint really the time for it, i don’t think… ㅤi’m jus’ here to keep * ‘im company. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh, shit, guess you are here tonight — ㅤuhm. it’s… complicated. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( * 😒 ) ㅤ

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